More Quizzes

Who's Your Inner Rock Star?

Georgia, your inner rock star is Bjork!

Wow, your inner rock star is Bjork. You've charmed the world with your beautiful, zany, personal style. To say you're a member of the alternative set would be a gross understatement. You and Bjork define alternative in its purest form. Read more about your inner rock star....


Who the fuck is that!?!


What's Your Romantic Fantasy?

Georgia, looks like your romantic fantasy is Breakfast in Bed!

There are few things better than waking up to the smell of hot coffee and sizzling bacon, or fresh fruit and granola, especially when it's right under your nose. What is it about the combination of breakfast and bed? Read more about your Romantic Fantasy...

The Appointment

Well the initial stuff is done. The paper work should be done Friday or Monday at the latest. Then the papers have to be walked over to file them with the court. After that then Tom and I have to go to some stupid parenting class. It has to be done before the court date. Found out that can be set but of course not the time. What's new about court. Then The petitioner, in this case me cause that's what we decided to do, has to go to court because it is uncontested.

Anyway so on the way home Tom said you want to stop for a beer and I agreed. We wound up getting margaritas, which btw he refused to ever try for me but tried for Dallas. I drank about a fifth of mine and gave it to Tom. I should have ordered a shot instead, Would have been better.

So back to the house and he has gone down stairs to be alone. And here I am.

I appreciate all the energy and thoughts and such. It did keep me strong through out the meeting and I still want to cry and I'm just to sad to. Tom is really really depressed.

Wednesday D Day

Today Tom and I will be going to the attorney's office to file the divorce papers. Yeah, it's strange to have the day finally arrive. I'm so nervous, my stomach is doing flops... and I've got 6 more hours before we get to the office.

Last night before I went to bed I tried to clear my mind... I just let it float and let whatever enter.

Well, as I lay there I saw something move past my eyes from right to left. It took form once on my left. It was a baby. This baby change shapes a couple of times but still always a baby. Smiling and laughing.

I had told myself it was the last night of my marriage and the first night of my new life. Maybe that was just my confirmation.

Quizzes



You are a silver dragon. The rarest kind of dragon.
YOu are noble yet avoid humans as much as
possible. You are the guardian of the
defensless and you rule the skies.


Which Dragon resides in your soul? (cool pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla





You are a human shadow. If a loved one needs you,
you are always right at his or her heels! Your
deep social connection with human beings
produces your qualities of genuine caring and
charisma. However, at times you are naive to
the true nature of your loved ones. Remember
that humans' gift of free will does not always
lead them in wise directions. But your essence
of love and friendship represent the other
precious gifts of humanity. Overall you are a
strikingly valuable and innocent being who has
a lot to give.(please rate my quiz cuz it took
me for freaking ever to create)


What Kind of Shadow Are You? (with gorgeous pics)
brought to you by Quizilla





Your Energy is Pink. You have achieved a perfect
balance between spiritual awareness and
material existence. You are usually
affectionate and warm, showing compassion and
love for others. Others find you genuine,
cooperative and friendly. You are a
humanitarian and you possess a deep
understanding of life. You may aspire to
philanthropy, or you may find yourself heading
or volunteering for agencies that create change
for the good of the whole. You are a leader
and are willing to take on much responsibility.


What color is your energy?
brought to you by Quizilla


Sixes are a whole bunch of words; harmony,
friendship, family life, loyal, reliable,
loving, and you adapt easily. You do well in
teaching and the arts, but are often
unsuccessful in business. You are prone to
gossip and complacency. The Pythagoreans
regarded six as the perfect number because of
lots of math things; six is divisible by both
two and three, and was the sum and well as the
product of the first three digits. Please rate
my quiz.


What does your name and arithmacy say about you? (some simple knowledge of adding is required on your part)
brought to you by Quizilla




You are Form 6, Elfin: The Wyld.

"And The Elfin saw the evil and
misjudgement in the world and shot her arrow at
the sky. Bolts of lightning struck the earth
and gave the world balance and
growth."

Some examples of the Elfin Form are Demeter (Greek)
and Khepry (Egyptian).
The Elfin is associated with the concept of growth
and balance, the number 6, and the element of
water.
Her sign is the half moon.

As a member of Form 6, you are a very balanced
individual. You can easily adapt to most
situations and you may be a good social
chameleon. You aren't afraid of changes in
your life, but sometimes you evolve too
rapidly, leaving others to think that you are
leaving them behind. Elfin are the best
friends to have because they are open minded.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
"May barbarians invade your personal
space!"
You are highly confrontational and possibly in a
bad mood. You would have sworn in this quiz,
if I had made it an option.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Nervous

Yep, I've bitten off all but two fingernails. I've been cutting split ends in my hair *all day*. I've played with my hair all day.... I've listened to music all day... I've had trouble keeping my mind in once place. That's why I cut split ends... That makes me concentrate on something.

I've got to cleanse my house .... it feels so heavy with emotions, sadness... It's oppressive. I think this coming weekend I'll do a cleansing... It does need it.

*Heavy Sigh*

Well, where to start... I refuse to go to yesterday. I exploded yesterday. I haven't been that angry in 25 years. I was mad enough to kill. Tom finally talked me down. We went and had lunch. The conversation turned to Dallas aka Michelle. That was fine. Through the conversation I found that she still has feeling for this guy who is just playing her. Plain and simple. She told Tom she was 95% sure she wanted to break up with the guy. Tom was suppose to go out there on Thursday of this week and spend the weekend. Well that's not going to happen. She told Tom she is trying to be sensitive to me and Tom. That's bullshit. The other guy is available this weekend. I know that because she told Tom that. That's why she is being sensitive and it's not for Tom and myself. It's because she has the hots for this guy. I found out also that this guy inherited some money. He told her he wanted to be with her 24/7 but he couldn't marry her. He lives with 2 other woman... Oh my favorite thing he told her is that he is very religious and that he can't be married because he can serve God better not being married. LOL *coughs bullshit* Ok so now Tom is depressed cause he can't go to see her.

Alright for me... Well it's one day closer. Tomorrow at 3:00 est is the appointment with the attorney. I'm not looking forward to that. I don't do well in those situations.

Today feels strange to me. Something is out of synch. Not sure what that is but something is. It started raining last night while I slept. I woke up when it first started as the sound of the drops hitting the sky lights always wake me. Then I was lulled back to sleep by the sound. I woke and it was still raining but before Michael finished getting ready for school the rain stopped. The day has turned out to be beautiful. Some nice white puffy clouds in the sky but mostly blue sky.

I was suppose to take my sister to get her botox today but they forgot to give her an appointment. LOL So I dodged that bullet. Tom helped Matt buy a new vehicle last night. So Matt is thrilled.

I should get back over to the house since I'm cooking lunch.

I'll be glad when this is all over. Tom can't sleep now and of course that means he is keeping me up. Last night he went to bed at 10:00pm. I was up until just after 11:00pm. I however went into the bedroom and turned the tv on and lowered the volume not to disturb anyone. I was in bed probably 30 minutes when Tom started getting up. The bedroom he is in the door is very noisy. So every time he opened and closed the door it woke me up. He must have gone in and out of the room 8 times before 3:30am. Then at 3:30am he came into my room to get his wallet. Of course this means he woke me up. I was somewhere important in my dream too. It really annoyed me to be waken. Hopefully he will take something to help him sleep tonight as I can't take many nights like that.

Wednesday is the big day. The first appointment with the attorney. I'm getting nervous. My stomach is starting to do flops and flips. I've bitten off 6 fingernails so far and that was just last week.

I agreed to take my sister to get her botox injection. *shivers* I'm not looking forward to that at all. It's the injection that I'm not looking forward to. What was I thinking?!

I think it bothers him that I can sleep and he can't. I usually do sleep when stressed while he can't.

Today is overcast and it's suppose to rain. It's been a while since it's rained so that's good.

Today was ok. Did laundry, cleaned kitchen. Talked with the mods today. That was fun. :-) Talked with Bran for a bit. I'm just a little tired. Wednesday is our appointment with the attorney. So I could use some energy then to make it through the day without breaking.

Well today is ok. I'm sure most of my mood is PMS. Things just sometimes hurt and you don't realize it until it comes out. I do know I shouldn't watch things like animal precinct. Seeing these animals is just really upsetting. This poor dog has a chain embedded in his neck. The vet had to cut tissue to removed it. Originally they had been told the dog was hard to handle. Well after the chain was cut out he was friendly and happy. Funny how that happens.. They aren't in pain and aren't being mean.


Tom horoscope today was funny. It basically said keep you mouth shut if you know someone is emotionally in pain. LOL We've been laughing about that.

Kitty Sam is attacking a wasp that found it's way in the house. LOL He is such the hunter. It takes a bit to get his fat butt off the ground but he jumps. It sounds like the house is coming down when he lands. LOL


Tom is now staying in the other bedroom. That's kind of strange but needed. He is moving his stuff out of the bedroom.

You are a Spiritualist. Your magic flows from the
primal forces of the cosmos. You could be a
gentle Healer, a miraculous Prophet or a
spirit-summoning War-mage with the strong link
your soul provides to the realms beyond
reality. You have preternatural abilities,
intutively sensing the personality of people
you meet and discerning events yet to happen.
You enhance your aura with meditative pursuits.
You are a good judge of character but your
idealism or morality can confuse others.


Which Magical Order Are You In?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well, things are back to normal... Was as normal is right now. At least I'm not crying so that's good....

Ate lunch which was less than what I wanted. So on the way back to the office a grabbed a couple of oreo cookies. Now these aren't plain ole Oreos... No sirree bob.... These are the Easter Oreos... Yep they are special. They have blue cream instead of the normal plain ole white. Also they have these cut little designs. I have a kite and lady bug on the ones that I have right here. I have to admit I've just noticed this and we've had these cookies for... a week! Actually I'm surprised we still have them. Michael has a habit of taking them up to his room and I never see them again... Not even the trash from them. LOL

Ok, so Tom and I talked some more got some more stuff worked out. He was being stupid yesterday and said something that really pissed me right off so I sent him a text message that said "Fuck you. Goddamn you Tom Langley". He was offended. *rolls eyes* Then I sent some really hateful emails to him. So pretty much I said things that I would never say normally. So we had that talk too.

I'm just so tired.

I had a long talk with my sister yesterday and was telling her what has been going on. I have to laugh cause she is a Virgo and well, she cracks me up. So, I was telling her that Tom had asked me where I was going for my vacation and I said I wasn't sure. He said well how long do you plan on staying... I was just messing with him and so oh 3 or 4 months. LOL He got really quiet and said be careful or you may forget your way home. I said I won't forget my way home. Gay, my sister, said I know you want because you won't leave Michael (my youngest 16 years old). I said exactly! So we were talking about it and she said now if you took Michael with you I would worry then. She is right too...

In 2000, Tom and I almost got a divorce I needed to get away so I went out into the woods behind my house and stayed there for a few hours. Now this is less than a hundred feet from my house! So I didn't want to be found and no one could see me. Seriously! My sister was laughing about my running away that day. She said yeah I tell people that I ran away to Mexico when I was 16 and my sister ran away to her back yard. LOL

That's just the way I am. I couldn't leave Michael so for my own sanity I went to the back yard. Yep that's me.

Ok, I'm going back to my movie now.

"Whatever"

And I wonder day to day
I don't like you anyway
I don't need your shit today
You pathetic in your own way
I feel for you
better fuckin' go away
I will behave
I'm doing the best I ever did
I'm doing the best that I can
Now go away
I don't need to fantasize
You are my pets all the time
I don't mind if you go blind
You get what you get
Until you're through with my life


Do I need to say another FUCKING thing!

Well, it's getting better. Only because Tom and I had a good conversation last night. Then though he got me very annoyed today and it made me stop crying. So it's like being fighting mad... You know? I'm trying to calm down. LOL

After All
by Delerium
cd Chimera


She knows the voices in her mind
They tell her
To leave

She’s tired of smiling madly
Until silence becomes very silently
A noise in her mind

After all she has nothing inside
No good to give
No meaning to live
The mist engulfed tonight
Every single star

After all they shared
How could he simply say no
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn’t cry
That was really just a lie

She knows the noises in her mind
Nothing’s left but
Screaming silence

After all she feels numbness inside
The feeling’s gone
She’s upside down
The pictures behind her closed eyes
This time you went too far

After all they shared
How could he simply say no
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn’t cry
That was really just a lie

After all they shared
How could he simply say no
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn’t cry
That was really just a lie

After all she has nothing inside
No good to give
No meaning to live
The mist engulfed tonight
Every single star

After all they shared
How could he simply say no
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn’t cry
That was really just a lie

After all they shared
How could he simply say no (simply say no)
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn’t cry
That was really just a lie

After all they shared
How could he simply say no (simply say no)
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn’t cry
That was really just a lie

After all they shared
How could he simply say no (how could he simply say no)
After all they shared (after all)
He turned away from her to go (he just turned away)
She said she wouldn’t cry
That was really just a lie

I figured out what about that song that has always drawn me. Just the simple part of "When I was young, I never needed anyone". I didn't. I didn't give a shit, played with emotions because I had none invested and figured they didn't either. I wish now I didn't have emotions invested in this. Life would be much easier. I'm at the point where I would like to just close myself off to life, to emotions. I guess I'm tired of the pain.

It's another day..........

You know... I know this song does not reflect my life but some reason it's always touched me.

When I was young
I never needed anyone
And making love was just for fun
Those days are gone
Livin' alone
I think of all the friends I've known
When I dial the telephone
Nobody's home

All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore

Hard to be sure
Sometimes I feel so insecure
And loves so distant and obscure
Remains the cure

All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
All by myself
Anymore

When I was young
I never needed anyone
Making love was just for fun
Those days are gone

All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
Oh
Don't wanna live
By myself, by myself
Anymore
By myself
Anymore
Oh
All by myself
Don't wanna live
I never, never, never
Needed anyone.

The sky is clear, why am I blue?

Yep, it's a beautiful here, clear sky, temps are a little cool but that's alright. I've bee on hawk guard since that bastard stole one of my babies. Yeah I know... he was just doing what is natural and that's understandable. I watch any that come near as long as they aren't hunting in my pond they are fine.

I think I know one reason I'm becoming more emotional about all this. I realized yesterday while talking to someone wonderful that the 25th of this month will be the anniversary of Tom and my first date. 24 years. We actually met on the 16th of March but me being the carefree person I was at the time, I had not time for guys. Boy do you think I wish I had kept that carefreeness? Yeah I do... I want to sit here and say never again but I know how never gets changed quickly. Do I feel like never right now? Yes.

As I'm typing this what comes on?

There is a Light

It's getting late and soon you will be underground Searching for something, something that you've never found Alone on an ocean Alone in a sea of regret You look for a sign to tell you if it's over yet But there is a light, there is a light, there is a light There is a light, there is a light, there is a light The truth has been stretched and left to dry out in the sun And the memories feel like an old piece of black chewing gum As innocence slowly seeps its way out of your pores It's hard to know just what to feel any more But there is a light, there is a light, there is a light There is a light, there is a light, there is a light Freedom is useless to someone who's never been free And a church full of angels point to where you want to be High up in your heaven happiness opens its wings And beats them in time to the rhythm of silence There is a light, there is a light, there is a light


I had tuned out the music when I started writing this. Then that came flooding through. I just don't feel like there is any light right now. Funny yesterday was good... That was until I decided to be nosey and check through Tom's emails. Don't look at me that way... He has done it to me numerous time. I haven't until now. I went through and read. I discovered that he hasn't really cared in a long time. Yeah he loves me but not like.. I don't know. I knew I didn't feel it but he denied it. Now I know from his own words. Then I found out that he sent her flowers. He sent me flowers on time, a single rose when we found out I was pregnant with Matt. He said that flowers were stupid. He sent her roses. $86.00 worth of roses. He has tried two alcoholic drinks, which he has always refused when I tried to get him to. He is doing things for her he refused to do for me. They are petty things but still.

After we got our new phones the other day, he laughingly picked up my phone and went through my contacts. Why I don't know. It's not like it's any secret who is in my phone. I don't normally talk very much on the phone. Heck I have 7000 rollover minutes on my cell phone! Does that tell you something! I'll have to admit my regular phone bill is going to be really high this month. I don't even want to see it.

Somehow I feel that my little crab shell isn't protecting me the way it should.

Tom is going to freeze his balls off

I bet you are now wondering why... ;-) Well today he headed up to Thunder Bay Ontario to do a vehicle inspection. Yep, it's a lot colder there than it is here. You know how us southerners are... anything below 40 is too cold. LOL He is flying back tomorrow only to go back out of town on Wednesday and back, well kind of, on Thursday. Or he will fly from Kansas City MO to Dallas. Yes one in the same.

The other day after Tom got back from Destin he asked if Michael had asked where he was. I said no. Tom said well that makes me feel really loved. I said well as far as he is thinking you are out of town working. He said well that's true. Then he was leaving to go ride his motorcycle and I said you know you are going to have to tell Michael about Dallas. He said I know. So last night that's what he did. They went down to the home theater and Tom told him. Michael came back upstairs and didn't say anything to me but milled around for a couple of minutes then went upstairs to his room. A little bit later Tom comes up and points up stairs and I said yes. He asked if Michael said anything and I said no not yet. Tom was very emotional. He said well Michael didn't have any trouble with the Dallas part but when He spoke of Us getting Divorced Michael cried. Tom said Michael is the only one to show emotions. That isn't true. Matt was mad at Tom for a few weeks about it. I guess that doesn't count cause then Tom can deny those emotions. Crying, hurt and pain he couldn't ignore. Tom had a really hard time holding it together when he was telling me about Michael. I mean what can I do? I felt that Michael deserved to know but with it being Tom that was out seeking this woman's favors then it should be Tom to explain. I think maybe Michael was hoping the divorce thing would just go away. It's not. Then I think well maybe he won't be so upset when I bring some other man into my life. I hope anyway.

I'm feeling rather good today even with those things going on. I think I'm on an upswing in emotions. So I think I've decided that my Happy Divorce trip will be to Tasmania... Sounds like an interesting place to go. It would be a whole new experience for me to go anywhere by myself. I've never done that before. LOL I'll probably get lost. Oh well, so is life.

Ah Sunday, Just Beautiful

Yes, today was a fab day. I have such a great energy swirling inside of me right now... I could be dangerous. ;-) I do mean that in a very good way.

Saturday

Well it's safe to say that every vehicle in the household is now clean. I've washed them all. No help from anyone.

Tom came home today. I feel the strain between us. I don't know what to do, where to turn. He was fine and friendly it's just well... I don't know how to put it into words.

Faeries

I forgot to mention that yesterday and the day before Sam (one of my kitties) was chasing something unseen through the house. Leaping and jumping. Attacking some unseen thing. Yeah... Kind of interesting eh? Then these other things are happening too. It's getting a little strange.

"The Invitation"

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living;
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are;
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dreams,
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon;
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life's betrayal
or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with JOY, mine or your own,
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without failing to be realistic,
or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true;
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself;
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can se beauty
even when the face is not pretty,
and if you can find grace for your living from that beauty.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of a lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon: "YES!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live
or how much money you have;
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief,
weary and bruised to the bone,
and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are,
how you came to be here;
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied:
I want to know what sustains you from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder

I think Brighid is having fun with me today. I colored my hair this morning. Now this is the same color I use every time because it is almost a perfect match for my natural color. My hair naturally has red highlights in it, so this color gives it that. I had several errands to run today so I got out and washed my car took the t-tops off had my cd's blasting and sunglasses on. Ok, so this was before I even backed out of the driveway. :-)

I looked in the rearview mirror and almost had a heart attack. There was the top of my head looking rather reddish. Much more reddish than I've ever been. I started laughing because well my hair is very dark brown and I'm looking at red. So I thought what the hell, and took off in the car. I'd check every once in a while and my hair was still red.

I just got home and have looked and my hair is dark brown like it's suppose to be. LOL Just a little strange don't you think?

I'm caught up on all the blogs. LOL You know those are really great cause you can say just about anything. They are great to rant on or just express yourself.

I have to say that the days that I didn't feel like posting to the list I could come here and if anyone was worried they could figure out where my head was. Then decide if they needed to send me some TDT's. I must admit I'm disappointed no one has sent me any TDT's yet. I must be doing something wrong. :-D

Ok, I'm kind of cooking, the chicken is on... That's as far as I've gone.

Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.

Image is a painting by Natalya Nesterova,
source:ca80.lehman.cuny.edu/.../
images/fallen_angel.jpg


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

Yesterday seemed to be a very big day for me for some reason.

I had bought the Fairy Oracle back in December. I had not even opened it up until yesterday at lunch time. So while I eat I'm looking at these cards. I get to the Maiden, as I look at her I notice she has such a twinkle in her eyes. I was just looking at her and she blinked. I know she blinked I saw it! I set the card down and just looked at it.

Then I was talking with Edward on the phone and we started talking about tarot cards and he said he used the Fairy Oracle. I was taken back a bit. Then he asked about what cards I thought he liked. The conversation soon got to him saying I don't really like the Maiden card. So I told him about the Maiden blinking at me. Now there is something going on, I know, and I feel it. What it is I don't know.

These are just some weird things happening with me.

About the Dream

That dream was unusual in the fact that I've been exposed to the name of Qadesh fairly recently but haven't really given the name much thought. So for this to show up now is rather odd.

Tuesday night I was on the phone and I have a small stuff lion. I was just drawn to this lion and I just kept petting it. It was weird but I felt like it was enjoying it. I know I'm weird but I swear that's how it felt.

Today I thought well I do a search and see what kind of information I can come up with that might make sense as to the dream. So I googled Qadesh. This is one thing I found:

Qadesh

Qadesh was Middle-Eastern goddess of sacred ecstasy and sexual pleasure, adopted in the New Kingdom by the Egyptians into a triad with the gods Min and Reshep. Her name, probably meaning the "holy", gives no clue to her origins but she seems to be a manifestation of the sensuousness inherent in the goddesses Astarte and Anat.

Qadesh rides naked on the back of a lion and holds out symbols of eroticism and fertility to her companions; lotuses for Min and snakes or papyrus plants for Reshep. In the Levant the cult of Qadesh, like that of Astarte, involved her acolytes simulating the sacred marriage of the goddess with Reshep. This sexuality displayed by Qadesh naturally led to an identification between her and Hathor, the Egyptian goddess of love.
http://www.touregypt.net/godsofegypt/qadesh.htm

Now if you notice she rides naked on the back of a lion. Lion.....

Wednesday night Dream

Ok, I had a very odd dream last night. This one is not like one I have ever had before.

Tom and I were at the house but where we were was like being on a balcony. It was just normal conversation when I saw my sister driving up. She was telling me that she was going to this place, I can't remember the name, and wanted to know if I wanted to go. This place was a place that had horses and the guy that was there was some big wig horse trainer. It was like a honor to get to talk to this guy. So I agreed. I followed her into the barn, as I walked in there was this one horse who was hurt, I remember a bandage. I walked to the next stall and this beautiful big black horse stuck his head out of his stall. I started petting him but he was a little pushy. I was a little concerned that he would bite me cause he was very nippy. My sister went up to his stall which was just past the injured horse and took him out of his stall. I watched as she led him away. I went back in the barn again with her and I walked up to the same black horse to pet him again. This time he did try to nip me. I stepped back so he couldn't. When I did I noticed this other stall that had 3 to 4 foals in it. There was a chain across the front of the stall instead of a door. The foals seemed unhappy. As I looked back up the black horse was being led out of his stall and he again tried to get my attention. He sneezed and blew horse boogers on my hand. I said ewwww and he put his head down and again he sneezed. This time yellow mucous came out of his right nostril. Then something round, the same color, came out of his nose. I was telling my sister that he was sick. I was worried about him.

Then I walked up the stairs to where the office area was. I was just watching the people up there. Then the this couple came up and I walked up to the guy that I had been taken to see. I realized I had some papers in my hand. It was paper work to be considered for a position to work with him. I had folded this paper over and had written or worked through some stuff on the back of the paper. I thought as I was looking at it I hope that he didn't think that was stupid. I walked to the first desk and they said you need to go over to his desk and give him the paper. As I did I realized his desk was positioned like that of a professors in a class room. His desk was messy with work. He looked up at me and said what? I said they told me to give you my paper. He looked at me and grinned. He leaned back in his chair just kind of sizing me up. Then he said go in Joe's office, that we would have to do shots as we talked and check the refrigerator to make sure that he had tequila. SO I turned around and headed for the offices which were right behind them all. I was thinking how am I going to know which one is Joe's office then I thought look at the name plates. So I found Joe's office with no problem. I was checking the frig when the alarm clock woke me up.

When I woke up I realized that I had applied to Qadesh.

Just so everyone's knows I'm fine. Things are ok. I was out washing cars today I got two of them washed and have two more to wash tomorrow. I will say that I've been pretty darn tired out though by 9:00. LOL Like now for example I could just go to sleep.

Other than that I'm doing pretty good.

ANGEL
Sarah McLachlan

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance ,
For the break that will make it okay .
There’s always some reason to feel not good enough ,
And it’s hard at the end of the day.
I need some distraction or a beautiful release ,
Memories seep from my veins .
Let me be empty and weightless and maybe ,
I’ll find some peace tonight .
In the arms of the angel far away from here ,
From this dark , cold hotel room and the endlessness that you feel .
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie ,
You’re in the arms of the angel , may you find some comfort here .
So tired of the straight line and everywhere you turn ,
There’s vultures and thieves at your back .
The storm keeps on twisting , you keep on building the lies ,
That make up for all that you lack .
It don’t make no difference , escape one last time ,
It’s easier to believe .
In this sweet madness , oh, this glorious sadness ,
That brings me to my knees .

In the arms of the angel , may you find some comfort here ...

Confused

Ok, so yesterday I'm having a good day. Things are fine I feel happy and relaxed. Tom is down in Destin, Florida relaxing. So around 5:00 pm I get this light bulb moment. I thought he is down there with Dallas. So I sent him a sms and said "So is Dallas down there with you?" A couple hours later he called me he was shocked and didn't answer the question right away then all of a sudden said the answer to your question is yes. Then went on to say I told you I would never lie to you and I haven't. Well it upset me because to me when he knew for sure that she was going to be there he should have told me. Her brother has a condo down there also and she is keeping her niece and nephew for a couple of days. So we ended up just acting like nothing happened which is my way of avoiding the emotions. Like a dummy I left my email on in the office so when I got up this morning I didn't have any emails. LOL I freaked out then thought well duh you probably left outlook opened in the office. So I go over there and go through the messages. There is one from Tom saying he was sorry I was having a bad day yesterday. Then goes on to say that I hurt his feelings. Excuse me? I hurt his feelings? Oh because I cried and that hurt his feelings. Let's see... hmmm... so what did I cry? Oh yeah because he hurt my feelings by not telling me and my intuition had to tell me. So he is in Atlanta today for a court case that we didn't get notified on until Thursday last week. So they had to fly him up from Destin. So the rest of his message was that if I needed him that he would be sitting around the courthouse.

Now, I'm sitting here thinking about doing a little weather magick so the rest of the trip would suck but then that would ruin everyone else's time so I won't.

Then he called just a few minutes ago saying the plane had just landed. Asked how I was today. I told him fine and he said I was lying... Well, I'm partly lying. As long as I don't think about him it's ok. I kind of feel betrayed but I shouldn't. No I really shouldn't. It's just that he has replaced me so quickly. I guess that is life.

I dislike being weepy... it's annoying and not necessary.

Monday Monday So Good to Be

Yes it's Monday and I'm alright. Other than the headache I have that is from allergies I'm guessing. I was bad and looked at Tom's old phone and saw messages he sent Dallas. He wrote sweet things to her. Things he had never written to me. This does tell me that he hasn't loved me in that way in a long time. I don't think either of us has truly loved each other that way, maybe never for me. I just don't know anymore. It's not that I'm sad or angry but just... I guess surprised that we both went through this marriage with nothing more than friendship with benefits. I want to give the friendship. The benefits are gone for him though. lol

Sunday's Life

First things first I'm feeling much much better.

Now for the negative. The damn hawk got one of my babies. Yes, he went fishing and got one of my fish. Damn!!!!!!!!! I mean the only thing keeping me being nice is that it's the cycle of life. Thank the Gods he didn't get one of my koi's but he still got one of my babies. :-(

Ok, things went well today. I was cleaning the room that will be my ritual room. Trying to decide what base color to do the walls. Just enjoying myself. LOL

The Element of Water

I was chatting with my friend Branny when I decided that maybe a soak in the tub would help settle my emotions. I do a lot of work in water. So I got the water all nice and warm added a little lemon oil and climbed in. I asked Branny I hoped she didn't mind taking a bath with me. LOL So I chatted while relaxing then did a short meditation. So the relaxation helped. I feel better but I think it's on another level that this depression comes from. I need to find out who is behind it. Tomorrow may be a day to sit outside and connect with the element of earth.

Dogs are good friends

I was sitting here after cleaning the filters in my pond and feeding my fish, and I was hit with another one of those Towers of Power waves of emotions. Joey (my jack russell) jumped up on the sofa to lay down. He started looking at me funny. Then he got this weird look on his face and came over and fell up against me. He doesn't like to just lay down. Then he just layed there up against me letting me pet him but he didn't seem to be enjoying it. It was strictly to comfort me. He kept his ears back the whole time, which is weird for him. I guess he thinks I feel better now cause he is laying on the other side of the sofa from me.

I'm sorry that I'm not my self lately. I just don't even know where to start on these weird feelings. I just know I'm very angry and I don't even know at what.

No I'm not back

I'm going back to my shell where I can hide and keep my negative feelings locked down.

Why I am Hating Tom's Brother

He is a using straight up. This guy has fucked up his life starting with his first marriage. He messed around on his wife and she divorced him The thing was my bil was quite intelligent then he started messing around. He was messing with a woman from work. Yep he got fired as he was the woman's manager. Then he messed around and used all his bank friends up. Then he got married. This lasted until the woman had two children. She divorced him because he wasn't working and hadn't hardly any of their marriage. So He has turned out to be the biggest using son of a bitch in the world. When he wants something he calls. When he really wants something he has his son Christopher call. Tom just went through the boys baseball stuff because Christopher is a starting catcher this year in baseball. Yay for Christopher... he really enjoys playing that positions. :-) What pisses me of is Tim called specifically to get equipment from us. It shouldn't bother me but I'm writing a fuck you letter to Tim and Donna (their sister) I want them to know exactly where I stand. Do I care if it offends them hell no.

Actually I think I'm fucking just pissed off at the world right now. BUT damn they pull on every freaking nerve I have left. I don't have any either. I'm stressed today.

Another Bad Date

Ok it wasn't a date but Tom and I went to dinner. I now understand what a bad date is.

The Pyramid Collection

Yeah the magazine came in the mail today. I was looking at the cover cause I was afraid to open it up. Anyway, they have the table top zen garden on the front. I was thinking that I would like one of those then it hit me. I have three cats. Now two of these cats have no manners. They love to dig in plants. They don't do anything other than just throw dirt every where. I thought yeah, the cats would have a lot of fun with the zen garden. Yep there would be sand all over the table and on the floor. Probably even in their coats. I know they would just love to roll in it.

Now that I think of it I don't think I'll get one.

Friday

Believe it or not last night I went to bed at 8:30pm. I've never been in bed that early. Ever! Well not to sleep anyway. I was sitting here trying to keep up with what was going on with WG and how everyone was doing. I'm sending energy and good thoughts to those who need it but I just don't feel like posting so I don't. Not unless something tells me I have too. Back to where I was going with this.

Tom came back from riding his motorcycle walked in and said what's for dinner. So I cooked dinner and made coffee cause he asked for coffee too. He drank one cup and ate then messed with his computer some and leaned back and slept. I was sitting here doing email and just messing with my computer and also my new phone. About 8:00pm I felt like someone had sucked all my energy out of me. I started getting so sleepy. So I went to bed at 8:34pm. It took a few minutes before I feel asleep but then I was out. I work up after 9:30 sometime cramping. So I tried to ground that and it didn't work. I just couldn't get myself in that place. So I said fine and went back to sleep. I fought through the pain of those cramps sleeping off and on until almost 1:00am then I took something for it. I figured if it wasn't going to stop then I might as well. Then I was out and slept hard all night.

So this morning I felt Tom get out of bed but I was too tired to see the time. Today is an off day for school so I didn't have to wake Michael up. So I change my alarm to 7:00am. Tom comes in before 7:00 and asks me how I was feeling. I forgot to mention he was still up when I went to get something for the pain. I told him better. So he said I'm still not sleepy and that his head was still screwed up. I don't know what to tell him about that. I guess I'd be really shocked if he wasn't. So I told him that he should try my lavender pillow tonight that it was worth a try. Then he started talking about Ms Dallas. I just don't know what to do about it. I want him to be careful but how do you say be careful? I've already said be careful but I am trying to make sure he doesn't attach himself because he doesn't want to be alone. You know? So I got out of bed and I just feel a little drained. I'm sure it's just being emotionally stressed so that I can deal with.

Tom did say that he hoped that I didn't have endometriosis (sp) which my sister had. He said that my periods seemed to be getting worse. Well I only have trouble sometimes but well...

I'm having feelings of I just don't care anymore and I don't like those. I've always cared and it bothers me that I'm feeling that.

Oh and Mab that was brilliant about the Tower phase. It truly was and thank you.

It's really over

Well yeah I knew it was but to day Tom said we needed to go get new cell phones. So on our way to the Cingular store Tom says let's stop and get lunch. Ok, so I told him I'd buy. We got out food and sat down. It was all gone. It was like sitting across the table from someone you really don't know. You just kind of talk but neither one of you are really listening to the conversation. That is my turning point, I know now that there is nothing left of the relationship. I never thought we would get back together but everything was gone. Like I said a stranger sat across the table from me.

That's all I have to say about that.

Life, yes there is life

I'm sitting here thinking about where my life is going. I don't know what I want. What do I want in life? I fee like a little seed being blown through the air. Not sure where I'm going to land, when I land if I will germinate and grow... What if I wither and die? Heck I could be like one of those weeds that just keeps coming back no matter what you do to it. Right now though I'm feeling a little more like one of those delicate plants that if the temperatures change too much just up and die.

I just want to know who I told that I wanted to be a water sign in this life. Surely, they got it wrong. Why would I ask for emotions? I mean really!? These emotions are like a tsunami. Somewhere deep inside of me there is a quake in the heart and the next thing you know this.. this.. thing comes sweeping over me. Nothing can stand in it's way. All I can do is watch it and think how can someone have that kind of pain inside. This is something that is for the betterment of me yet still I see the ocean shiver from the quake beneath it. The ripples turn to waves and the waves into the tsunami. It's destructive.

On that thought line. Normally I am able to find the good even in the destruction. Just as a forest fire sweeps through thousands of acres, soon mother nature smiles and the plants push their way to the sunshine. The volcano send the lava down. It burns and destroys everything it touches including nature. Yet with some time the land is renewed and life springs forth.

Now I have to think about tornados/hurricanes. Air... rushes in meeting up swirling into a dance that is extraordinary. A hurricane born out on the water, dances it's way through the ocean. She picks up speed and strength from the water. She is impressive. When she hits the land that's when she decides her destruction. In she comes, ripping trees from the earth, blowing houses down or maybe she only takes parts of them. Ah the cars yes, she picks one up and places it on top of another. Lives may be lost, people shaken to their very core by her. What good came from that? I don't know. Maybe someone need to have their house rebuilt because it was in bad shape. *shrugs*

Earthquakes come and rip apart things in it's path. She twists structures. The earth rumbles, groans, screams, she complains greatly. What good did she do in shaking up peoples lives so badly? Is she shaking people trying to say look what I can do to you anytime I wish. Take care of me now! Pay attention to me!

Then comes the tsunami... Yes my element. She grows as she moves across the waters on earth. At some point she becomes a huge wall of unstoppable water. A force not to be taken lightly. We think of water as soothing, calming. Yet with her rage there is nothing gentle. Maybe she washes the land of it's ills. Maybe that is what these watery emotions I have are. They wash my ills? Try to renew me in some way? Well, I guess there must be much to do if that is what these emotions are doing.

To Pick up the Car

Let me say starting off that I thought Tom was trying to kill me in the car. He drove terrible. He was upset and his driving showed it. I had white knuckles the whole trip and I can tell you my brakes on the passenger side DO NOT WORK!

So he was getting his car and said he would be home in a while. He was just going to go drive for a bit. I said ok and went home. He is hung up on country music right now, me I'm rocking. LOL So it's a little strange. He just is very sad. It makes me sad knowing he is so sad.

Alone in a Crowded Room


I bet you thought you could never be alone with other people around. Well you can. For that fact I'm sitting in my living room with Tom and Michael and that's the way it is. There must be glass walls that I don't see. There is a separation that I can't name, an aloneness that permeates the room. Tom sits in his chair with his noise canceling head phone on listening to his Ipod, his eyes closed. Michael and I are watching Angel.

See earlier today I followed Tom to the shop to have it worked on. Well, I started getting teary and it just got worse. I pick Tom up and he starts feeling bad because I'm teary. He thinks I hate him and I said no I don't. Then he said you have to stop that. Yeah, I'd like to. So I finally get it under control and then he wants to talk about the divorce. I just held my hand up. He said I don't understand, you don't know what I was going to say. I just held my hand up. So he stopped. We got back and started filling out the paper work. Now all of a sudden it's Tom who is getting upset. That is why he is sitting in his chair sleeping now. *sighs*

So right now I'm ok... kind of.. at least I'm not crying.

Tom does everything he can to not show emotion and he is finding this hard to deal with. It's just as hard for me. Today I wrote him a permission slip to go have fun affairs of the heart. I did one for me too. We both signed them and each have a copy of both. I don't know really what to think though.

I've said a few things that have surprised him but hey if I can't keep it light then I cry. I said so are you going to be mad if I get to have sex before you? That really surprised and shocked him. I guess he hadn't thought about that. I can't really remember anything else.

"It's a beautiful morning, I think I'll go outside for a while and smile"

Well it is... I feel better than I did yesterday. I slept pretty hard but my lower back has been killing me. Just those old pregnant injuries. LOL This day has promise, it's a little cool but that's all right.

Last night Tom got a text message and he stood up and said I'm going to the office to call Dallas. It's just kind of strange.

Oh and I forgot to mention this. Tom came home Sunday night. Michael came down to talk with him and the first thing he said was "Where did you go?" "Why?" "What did you do?" Now I just told Michael that Tom had gone to Dallas, Texas but didn't say why. The reason I didn't say why is cause Michael never cares why. After the first question Michael asked Tom shot me a look. Michael was in a different room so he didn't see the look. I just grinned at Tom. I swear Michael sounded like a dad giving his son the third degree as to where he had been. I hardly have ever seen Tom at a lose for words but he was then. So when Michael went to bed Tom started asking me why Michael was asking those questions. LOL I said I don't know. Then he asked me what I had told him. So I said I told him you were going to Dallas, Texas for the weekend for a meeting. It wasn't a lie he was meeting someone.

I'll see how it goes today. I don't know if Tom will delve into the same conversation we had yesterday for a while. He worries about upsetting me. Yet... well... you know..

Here it is Monday

Well it is Monday and for such a beautiful day it's been rather sucky. I want to answer emails from today but really just don't feel like it. Just a long discussion between Tom and I. I good discussion but one that made me sad so I just really don't have the energy for the posts. I'll answer the animal totems ones that I need to and save the others for another day.

I feel kind of gross like I need a shower. LOL I've been working on the plants in the pond. Slimy, algae everywhere. It's all over my shirt. I look like I've been rolling around in a pig pen. It's terrible! Ah but the pond is so wonderful to sit by and relax. It's so nice to listen to the waterfalls and watch the fish swim.

Oh you are wondering why I'm in here blogging instead of still working around the pond? Well, I had to take a break. Not for lunch though, I'm not ready to eat yet. It's just too nice to be inside today.

I was out working on some of the plants and stood up and as I did a crow flew overhead. It's shadow came out of no where and I ducked thinking I was about to bump into a bird. LOL I hate when I do that to myself.

Ok, I have to get back outside now. I'm losing steam sitting here.

I've been out cutting back and pruning some plants. I keep petting the rosemary cause it smells SO good. My thyme is looking leggy but it had a bunch of dead stuff I've cut off. I've got tons of weeds popping up already. Who would have thought I'd be fighting them already!


OH! I didn't check the mail box yesterday so I strolled up there this morning. I got another book! The Magical Battle of Britain. :-D I'm so excited it's been on my wish list for a while now and I found it on a used book list. It still looks great... Yep I'll have to take a few breaks today to come in a read a bit. Someone marked a few places in the book so I'm interested in seeing what it is that they thought so important as to mark it.

I really need to go fix some breakfast before going back outside. I'll forget to eat if I don't.

Saturday Night Fever!

I just hung up from Cerr. Poor woman's ears probably fell off after talking with me. LOL She really is the sweetest thing. Elen was so adorable. She was just chattering away. :-D

Ok, you guys would be so proud of me. I actually was able to get a cork out of a bottle without breaking it into a billion little pieces that of course would have to go into the wine. LOL YES! I'm brilliant! Cork out of the bottle in one piece. LOL Now, I need to cook dinner but I don't want normal dinner stuff I want breakfast. Ok so wine does go with that but do I care? Hell no!

My neck is stiff today, I napped on it wrong. LOL

Oh a funny thing. My kitty Marvin was sitting in the bathroom while I was plucking eyebrows. He started staring at the sink so I let the water drip so he could get a drink. IT was so funny cause every time the water hit the sink his ears jumped. Finally it was more than the poor kitty could stand. So he decided to try and catch those water drops. He was snapping at the drops. Then he tried with his paws. Then he put his head under the faucet to see where it's going. It dropped on his head which made him start biting at the drops again. Then he looks under the faucet and the water drips on his nose causing him to sneeze. Cats are silly.

I was waken this morning because of the rain. It was beating on the sky lights in my bedroom trying to get in. That was around 5:30am. Then I basically cat napped until I finally got up at 7:00am. So I got and spent the morning on the phone. I had a great conversation.

Tom called to tell me everything was fine. He said they had a good time last night, so that was good. I think I'm ok with this now. lol Well I'm ok with at least right now. Later I could change my mind.

I was out earlier cutting back plants from my pond. I found out that rosemary was just starting to bloom. To find little surprises like that is wonderful. I've got a big pile of dead plant material now and that is only from one side of the waterfall. LOL My koi are ravenous now. They don't eat during the winter time and now the water is warm enough to feed them again. This morning when I went out they came rushing towards me with their little mouths open. LOL As I walked around the pond to figure out where I wanted to start the koi followed me begging for more food. It's kind of funny because they come up and they swim over each other to try to get in position to get the food. I'm not talking graceful swimming. I'm talking more like climbing on top of each other. I'll have to go back out and finish cutting the plants back.

Friday night and I ain't got nobody

I don't know that it's necessarily a bad thing but it's a bit strange. I'm not sure still what to think. See I know that I have a jealous nature but I'm torn because it's over. We both deserve to be happy. I just can't go out until the divorce is final. It's just something in me. I don't know maybe it's because I worry what Tom would think. Yeah I know... but you just never know how someone will react, you know?

I have been thinking about my garden this year. I guess I'm getting spring fever already. I need to go prepare the ground. Cut and pull and clear. LOL Also the pond needs to be cleaned too.

Maybe I should go call my astral lover. ;-)

1950's Music

Ok, so I'm watching a show that has a lot of 1950's music. This wasn't my time but I do love this music. I thank my parents for playing all kinds of music as I grew up. I heard all kinds of music and there is only one of the old stuff that I don't like. Ray Coniff (sp) Yep it's the only one. One that was definitely before my time was boogie woogie... Now that music make you want to go dance. LOL For music today the only one I don't care for is Rap crap. It's just one I don't like. I do have to admit that some of the beats are excellent....

Dreams

You know I thought I had this fairly worked out. Last night though my dream was telling me it still bothers me that Tom is going out to Dallas. In my dream I was with 3 other women and we were in a place like a bar that serves food too. The table sort of in front of me had the woman Tom was interested in. We were all chatting about her. I could hear anything that was said but I know that's what we were doing. She saw me and was a little uncomfortable. Tom walked in with my oldest son. He walked up to her and asked her if she wanted to have a meal with them. So she was gathering her stuff and going over to his table.

She left after a while and I sat down. They had been putting a puzzle together. There were a couple of pieces missing and one piece that didn't quite fit. I found the missing pieces under the table. The puzzle was completely white and it was round.

It just seemed like a dream that was telling me I'm not alright with this Dallas thing. The thing is though that I know that the divorce is going to happen. I know that I do want him to be happy. I know I do want to be happy. I think I'm feeling a little betrayed even though I'm the one to have told him to go.

Now I sit here thinking if I know all those things above then why does it bother me that he is trying to move on so quickly? Is it the loss? Maybe that I have trouble turning loose of things? I don't know.

Then again, if Tom moves on then I'm free to move on. I am ready to move on but I can really only handle getting one person settled at a time. So I can get him settled even sort of then it will be fine. I know it's not my responsibility but then I won't worry about him if he is settled.

"My Immortal"
Evanescence
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone


"Hunter"
Dido
If you were a king up there on your throne
would you be wise enough to let me go
for this queen you think you own
Wants to be a hunter again
wants to see the world alone again
to take a chance on life again
so let me go


Strange but both of these fit the way I feel. The latter because I do feel that Tom always felt he owned me. I'm ready to face life again. Of course My Immortal puts quite nicely If you have to leave, then just leave.

I don't want to be someone who is bitter from their divorce. We had a good life together, we've both grown apart. Life is that way sometimes. People grow and move on. I know there are people who have had a hard time through their divorces and were treated badly. That isn't the case for me.

I'm thinking maybe I can get Tom to do a ritual of ... oh what's it called... the opposite of handfasting. It would be a good way of releasing the bond of marriage.

Dallas again

Tom is still in Alabama and called today. He told me that he was telling Dallas that I said that Tom should hop a flight to Dallas. So she talks then says well she must have a boyfriend to say that. What is wrong with me wanting him to be happy?

Oh and I just found out that he is flying to Texas Friday evening to see her.

You are Don Juan From "Don Juan De Marco." Woobaby! You are Don Juan - dark and handsome, and the world's greatest lover. Some people find you to be a bit insane (or is that insanely sexy?). While you may not be playing with all 52 cards, don't let that get you down - you're a true romantic at heart.

Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!

Ok so I found this on Anna's Live Journal... So I tried it and this is what I got.

Who is in your celebrity family? by cerulean_dreams
User Name
Mom	Charlize Theron
Dad	Al Pacino
Brother	Clay Aiken
Sister	Hillary Duff
Dog	Buddy
Boyfriend	Eric Bana
Best friend	Johnny Depp
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

YES! YES! YES!

My dad gets to come home. He was so excited. You could feel his energy bouncing. He really really hate hospitals. He cracks me up when he says "All they have in there are sick people". Well, yes they do. What he actually means by that is that he doesn't want to go because he may catch something that is contagious.

A side note to that. My cousin who use to work with contagious dieases said that every hospital should be burned to the ground after 10 years. She said there is some bad stuff lurking within those walls.

Ok, back on track here. So I asked dad if Gay had called him and he sat there for a moment and said well I don't know. I said ok. I hung up after he hurried me off the phone and called Gay. She said yeah I talked to him while we were at the Denver airport. LOL I had figured as much. His memory is getting bad. His hearing is going of course though being a man he has always had selective hearing. LOL

The Overcast Thursday Outlook

Yes it is overcast. With Tom out of town I slept like a baby. I went to sleep on my right side and woke up on my right side, I hadn't moved all night. LOL All week I've been waking up feeling not rested at all but not today. :-) The sleep was more like sleeping in your lovers arms, very comforting. I felt loved.

Yesterday I told Tom about a suspicious vehicle, well I emailed him all the information. He called this morning annoyed that I hadn't called him. He was sitting in on a deposition so he wouldn't have answered the call anyway. SO he said did you call the police? I said No I got the 45. You know my weapon of choice. ;-)

Ok, I need to go exercise now... Ugh... I can't I just ate breakfast. Damn... I'll have to do it before lunch then.

Dallas Calling

I haven't talked about Ms Dallas lately. The one who talks to Tom all the time. Well she sends him messages on his phone and he calls her. Sometimes she calls him. Last night at around 9:30 she sent a message and he grinned at me and said I need to go do some stuff in the office. I said need to go talk to Ms. Dallas eh? He just grinned. He came back in the house around 11:45pm. I had turned off all the lights, tv and shut the doors. LOL This morning he asked me about it. I don't know what to tell him cause I'm not really sure how I feel about it.

I did say something about having men to call me and he said well yeah that's fine. LOL He would really love to take her out. He is rather nervous about dating. Me I can't say until it happens. I have no expectations of how I should or would feel. I could have a practice date. Not with a real person but a virtual date. That way if I don't like it I could say, forget this and disconnect. LOL

For those of you who are married... Have you ever thought about all the annoying things your spouse does? LOL Well it's just strange thinking about having to get use to someone news annoying habits. Tom for example goes in to the bathroom to take a shower. He turns on both sets of lights in the bathroom then the one in the shower. Sometimes the one in the potty room. Then he dries off goes to his closet turns on those light plus the hallway lights. Then into the bedroom and turns on the over head lights. This is in the day time for Gods sake! Then leaves them on and goes off. I go behind him turning off lights. It drives me nuts. Another thing he does. He takes (if he takes) his dirty dishes into the kitchen and puts them either on the counter by the empty sink or on the island in front of the sink. What part of put your dishes in the sink is hard to understand? There are actually a lot of things he does that annoy me but we all have out little problems... Except me... ;-)

Which LOTR Character would you be?

Ok so I took the test after reading my friends blog.

It said I would be Arwen, Elf, the daughter of Elrond. :-) Yes, that's me... I wonder if I get the horse she rode in the movie.... Hmmm... It was a beautiful one I thought... Yes, I could be Arwen...

Here is the web address if you want to see which character you would be.

http://www.zovakware.com/tests/lordoftherings.htm

A friend's heart

My friend is also a lady who comes to clean the house. She is a very loving Columbian woman. We have a problem with the language barrier at times but we always work out what the other is saying. :-)

This morning she showed up an hour earlier than normal. She was here at 7:45am. She said I have a question. SO she sat down and opened her heart. We spoke until 9:00am. It seems her American boyfriend is an idiot. She has been here for a few years and she has work very hard to make money and pays for her son to go to college in Columbia. He graduates in August. :-) Anyway, her boyfriend said that she shouldn't send money to her children because they are grown up and must be lazy if they don't have enough money. She explained to me that if she makes 100 dollars that she puts 10 dollars back for her children She only sends them money when they need food. Makes sense to me... She gave me an example that one of her daughters works from 7 in the morning until 9 at night and has two small children. Their pay in Columbia is very low and what she makes pays the rent, utilities and some food. My friends boyfriend had the nerve to say working 14 hours a day at a job is lazy? Then she comes home and has to clean and cook for the next day. She gets in bed between 11 and 12 at night.

My friend is also putting money back to build her mother a new house. She said it will cost 20 to 25 thousand dollars. Her mother is 82 and lives in their old house where the rain comes in. My friend's boyfriend doesn't understand that either. The boyfriend is 36 years old, letting his mother tell him who he should marry, and said he shouldn't marry my friend because she hasn't been to college. ARGH! I've decided that he and his mother are just jack asses. Well, he told his parents he wanted to marry my friend. They said no and fought over it for two days. He broke up with my friend.

Oh and another thing. He told her that *everyone* in America works. Husband and wife. That none of them stay home. She said she knew better because she cleans houses and she sees that they do. I told her he was just full of it and she was better off without someone who lets their mother run their lives. I told Tom about the conversation so when he saw her this morning he gave her a big hug. Then she hugged me and told me that after talking with me I made her heart happy. :-D

Oh and another another thing. He told her that if he married her that he wasn't marrying her kids. Basically that he was shutting them out of the family. I told her that her children and her happiness meant more than marrying a man who thought so little of family. :-) Can you tell this conversation got me worked up about family? LOL She is a good woman with a HUGE heart. She deserves a man who will love her and treat her as special as she really is.

She was married when she was in Columbia but her husband turned mean after 10 years of marriage and started beating her. She stayed with him for 12 years after the beatings started. She said she was afraid for her children, not having food. They are divorced but he still tries to get her to come back. She said no. LOL Oh and something else she told me. The job market in Columbia considers anyone 30 and over too old to work! Can you believe that!?

Ok, I should really get back to work now.

The Birds are Singing

Yes this is a day mixed between sunlight and shadows. The ground is still wet from the rain that last night. The birds started chirping early this morning. The squirrels have been scampering across the drive way trying no to be a meal for the hawks that fly above. It feels like spring isn't far away. My gardenias made it through the winter and are getting big. I can't wait for them to bloom. My witch hazel hasn't bloomed yet. I love the yellow flowers oh it. The grass is starting to grow again with the warmth.

Tom is off the Birmingham, Alabama for the night and most of tomorrow. That means I can have boyfriends over. :-D Ok, well that's what I've always told Tom I did while he was gone. ;-) Now if I had a boyfriend to *have* over. LOL

Yummy Younger Men

Well, I saw something interesting on Good Morning America this morning. They had a segment on older women dating younger me. There was a study done on it. The things they talked about were really what I would think *any* relationship would have. Example whether or not either wants children. The benefits were that younger men last longer and they said that older women take more to arouse. LOL It was a little strange but I have no problem with the thought.

Monday, Monday

You know I haven't dreaded the phone ringing since Tom retired from Police work. This morning it rang at 8:29am and I knew. See I had been thinking since 8:00am that I needed to call my mom. I was waiting for 9:00am as I never call someone before that time in the morning. It was my sister in law Susan. She told me about my dad. So we talked for a few minutes and she said that my brother Guy was calling my sister Gay who is in Montana right now. So I hung up from Susan called Matt (my oldest) and asked if he had heard and if he called Gay. He said no but he would. So I was waiting for my brother to get home and come over since we were riding the hour and a half drive to the hospital. I decided to call Matt again. I said Matt did you get hold of Gay? He said I'll called her cell but got no answer. I said Matt did you call the cabin? He said no they are at the ranch. I said fine did you call the ranch? He said mom Doug and Janet are out there too. (They are my sister's fil and mil). Then he went on to tell me that it was 3 hours earlier. I said I'm aware what time it is in Montana Matt but Gay will be really pissed (angry) at you if you don't call her and let her know. Doug and Janet won't care. So he got hold of her and she called me as we were headed up to the hospital. We got to the hospital and found my mom, talked the nurse into letting all three of us go back. They are only suppose to allow two. So we went in and mom insisted on waking him up no matter what Guy and I said. LOL Not that it did much good. I gave dad a kiss on the head and he said thank you then he said where's Guy. LOL So I sent Guy over and dad went back to sleep. *grins* They gave him a sleepy shot.

They then moved him to Intensive Care but the surgery one. A just in case thing. So we went in and saw him after they got him settled in. He slept most of the time, that or the nurses kept waking him up. *grins* One of the good things is the nurse came in to check his grip strength. My dad said I don't want to hurt you. She laughed and said I'm tough. LOL So he squeezed and she kept saying harder, harder, then OWIE. She laughed and said she really hadn't expected him to have that much hand strength, so she was happy with that. He didn't have any feeling in his right thigh.

We decided to go eat at 1:00 while he slept. When we got back he was eating and using his right hand very well. There is no drooping in his face, so that is another good thing. He has to stay in the hospital, they said for 2 days up to 2 weeks depending on how he does.

We talked with mom about getting dad to sell his tractor. Dad had planned on working in the field with his tractor.. It was a good thing that it happened before he got on the tractor. So we talked about getting him to sell some of his guns and other stuff. We are now concerned that he shouldn't be using his saws and stuff. Only because he is starting to be forgetful. Ok, I need to go answer some emails.