Update

"It's Been A While"
Staind

"And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you"

It has been a while since I wrote anything in here. I just haven't felt like it really. Honestly I don't feel like it right now either. Since I'm not talking much on list I figured I could at least post something here some folks would know I'm alive. Just feeling a little out of sorts. I've been really touchy about the way I've perceived the way people are treating me. I'm feeling slighted and I'm not even sure why. Honestly I don't think I am... It's just hitting me that way. Some serious soul searching has been going on and I'm not sure I like what I feel.

So I'm still doing the card a day. Yesterday's was, Five of Stones. Isolation. Yep that was yesterday... Today I was shuffling and Mother of Cups in the North (Queen of Cups) fell out of the deck. She means, earthy, plain honest person. Matriarch. Ancient forces... However I went ahead and actually pulled one also to see how they work together. I pulled The Star. Renewal, reality and feeling. Cleansing. Humility. Hope. I can see these two working together.

My dreams have been incredibly busy. Last night my house was split in two. One side was good and one bad. I think bad may be the wrong word... More like the misunderstood side. The side that is always getting into trouble. Then during the dream the sides and people were forced to switch places. I remember going to the other side looking around and I started planning on how I was going to re-decorate it. I was planning on what colors to paint the walls and all that good stuff. The side that took our place settled right in and didn't have to work to change anything. I wasn't unhappy about doing this work and I was actually looking forward to it. So I was going around just quite happy with what I had figured out. Then we were told it was dinner time. There were 3 or 4 rows of huge long tables. Few people but lots of table space. I sat down and so did the others. This woman, floated, to the middle table and screamed at us. The "bad ones". She was yelling saying why would we expect her to fix food since we caused so much trouble all the time. I sat there watching her. She had a pink dress that had some kind of design in white and a head rag thingy that matched it. She ranted at us telling us we would not get anything to eat and then she floated back to the kitchen. I thought about it for a minute and then realized that we were expected to really take the place of the others. We would be treated like they were also. So I got up from the table laughing mumbling about having to act like the others did. So I went around the corner to the other side, which use to be mine, and thought ok. So I figured I'd throw some stuff around. I mean if they expected us to be bad I had to do something. So I reached for something to through when I realized it was valuable. I sat it down and looked quickly for things that were of value. I through the first one and started yelling. Then I looked for something else to throw. I kept throwing and the others were trying to get past the barrage of stuff I was throwing. Finally they got me and pushed me back to my side. That's when I realized that they weren't bad but they were feeling left out and misunderstood. Frustrated. So they lashed out. I went back to my side grumbling on how it was unfair, the way they had been treated. The funny thing was on the "bad" side there were all kinds of ghosty stuff. I decided I was going to paint. So I turned and asked a man who knew this house and it's history about the original colors. He looked at me and said you may not want to paint the original colors. It could be bad and bring things back out that are better left alone. It was like I remembered some of the history and it was better left alone. I don't know what it was, just the feeling I got. I remember... Wispy... I'm not sure what that is... Sort of like curtains or something.

Then we were outside moving around. My dad had this huge motorhome and wanted me to go on a drive with him. So I got in and he was driving. He saw something inside the motorhome that got his attention and he got up from the seat and the thing just kept going. Same speed and everything. Though it was not being steered. I jumped up yelling at him that he couldn't just do that. I couldn't get into the front sit because I was being blocked. So I was leaning over holding the steering wheel trying to keep it on the road and to keep from hitting anyone else. The speed never increased or decreased. I went careening around corners that my brain knew would cause this vehicle to topple over. I still managed to hold it. I did go across the lane many times and was lucky not to hit anyone. Now this whole time my dad is up where he could drive and at least use the brakes. We were going over places were I couldn't see anything and I was in a panic. I was so afraid I was going to hit someone and knew it'd kill them. We had to cross a bridge and there was someone else coming from the other direction. I held it straight, I think we actually scraped the side of the bridge. I got across the bridge and my brother showed up. I have no idea where from. LOL He said that he wanted to drive too. So I let him. He sat down in the seat and drove about a hundred yards and then turned around. This turn around seem to be where everyone turned at.

We headed back to the house then. We got back and I walked towards the group of people who I was with. My sister was there but her hair was dark again. Something was wrong with her. Almost like she was dying. I remember her mascara running down her face. It made her look very haunting. I was trying to take care of her. I remember the color of light green. That green they use to use in school years ago... That's all I can remember right now.

Today's thoughts

I've done some reading today, though by lunch time I felt so bad physically that I went to the house and took some medicine. So I napped a lot and on waking thought on what I'd read. I think part of the reason I'm finding some things come easy is I was never told I couldn't do it. Someone described it to me and I just assumed it could be done. My example is being able to touch someone while they are not present. I've found they have to be someone that I feel strongly about and someone who is receptive. No one has ever told me this couldn't be done. For that fact the first person who showed me it could be done never said you may not be able to do this. My first attempts weren't dramatic by any means however I was able to touch even for that moment. Once I had connected with them it was easier. Sometimes I am stronger than other with this. I have a feeling this has to do with the other person. Whether or not they are open to it.

My ponderings on this day made me realize how much we can do if only we don't tell ourselves we can't. It's true it may take several attempts, heck it may be something that is hard for you to accomplish. Still the fact that we tell ourselves we aren't capable is part of the problem. The exercise that Pixie did yesterday for example. I sat here thinking I can't do this. Part of my problem was that I was distracted and believed that I couldn't with that distraction. I read her email several times until I got it firmly in my mind and then because of my doubts I didn't say I felt like cookie was involved somehow. I felt strongly about the smooth and light color but fearing I was wrong I wrote I guess. What I managed to do was convince myself I couldn't do something. To foster a disbelief in myself, my abilities. This is something we/I have to over-come. Anna has spoken before of enjoying getting confirmations. I think it is important. It let's us see that we are right. A boost for our confidence.

Today I had a flicker of connection with my Haindel Tarot cards. I did two reading for myself yesterday just to see. Like I said it was interesting that Kali came up in the same position but the reading itself was fairly accurate. My guinea pig is usually my sister but now I know why I've not been very successful. She has shielded herself so much and doesn't even realize it. Plus right now my confidence in my readings isn't very good. It will get better. LOL

So all in all today I have realized that we can do anything.

Here I sit with a cup of green tea, drinking it out of a cup Pixie made. This has not been a good day for me. Not because anything bad happened it's just my sinuses have been killing me all day. I cam home early and took something for them and fell asleep. My intention was to watch I, Robot but a storm was coming in and kept making the power surge so I gave up for a little and then it finally settled down and I turned on the movie again. The next thing I know is my cell phone is ringing. So I fumbled around and answered it to find the lovely Jo on the other end. She said have you been reading email... By now she is figuring out I had been asleep. lol I check emails and find that during all those power surges it knock my connection out. So off I go to the office to get the connection back up. I read Jo's very very exciting news. Now the cool thing is for a couple of days now I've been wanting to ask her about sharing her dissertation with one of my groups. I didn't because I was worried that something may come up and it not need to be spread over the internet. Well, now I have to say I'm glad I didn't ask. :-)

I took some more medicine for my sinuses and promptly took a little nap. lol However my neck and shoulders are/were hurting. Michael was a sweety and rubbed my neck and shoulders for me. Then it occurred to me that I could just go get in a hot shower and help my sinuses. So I did. I felt good for about 20 minutes now it's all coming back again.

I maybe be sparse on line... I need to study as I've been feeling this pull for a while now. It's time to put some work into my path.

You scored as A Too Sweet Faerie. So sweet your totally sugared up! Has there ever been anyone so nice. Quick to forgive and quick to forget, everybody wants to know you! You've just got to make sure nobody takes advantage and tries to use you, don't be afraid to say no sometimes! See All Results/Comment A Too Sweet Faerie 95% A Too Lazy Faerie 70% A Too Astral Faerie 45% A Too Serious Faerie 45% A Too Kinky Faerie 45% A Too Sporty Faerie 35% A Too Silly Faerie 35% A Too Depressed Faerie 25% A Too Evil Faerie 15% Which Dysfunctional Faerie are You? created with QuizFarm.com

The night before last was an old dream. I went back to a school building looking for a dress that I wore in my brother's wedding. I never liked that dress, and I told my sister-in-law it looked like they got the material from a flour sack. LOL It was like the wedding was taking place again and that's why I had to find it. So it seemed like most of this dream was spent looking for the dress. The other girls that had there dresses were not the ones who had been in the wedding. So I found the dress and my first thought was I'm not going to be able to wear it because I'm not that skinny anymore. I tried it on and it fit. That was a little strange but I went with it. Then I could find the shoes. LOL Now the thing about the shoes is that in the real wedding I had told my SIL that I was wearing my cowboy boots. hehe She was terrified that I really would. So all I could find was my black high heels.

It was just a weird dream.

What's Up On Planet Earth?

January 10, 2005
Enter The Star Beings

I so enjoy receiving all of your e-mails and messages, and continue to read each and every one. For me, they are gold nuggets with their own special energy and messages that continue to uplift and support the What's Up? web site and energy alerts.

Due to the large volume of e-mails I receive (and that I am currently working on my book), I am not always able to personally reply to them all, but encourage you to continue sending them and to continue connecting.


Greetings!

As so much of the old is beginning to rapidly fall away before our eyes, it can almost feel as if the ground is shaking, rumbling and moving beneath our feet. As we are all so very connected through the same Source energy, we as human beings and the Earth herself are all tied in together. We are, as always, one and the same.

During the period preceding, during and after the Tsunami occurrence in the Asian lands, I felt my body and being personally releasing a great chunk of density. As we are all one, we may have felt in our own unique ways, this massive release generating from the needed alignment with the New higher frequencies we are now in.

We are all in this together, so whatever is being released, whether through the energy that the beautiful beings that chose to leave had embodied, or through our personal releasing, or perhaps through the releasing of the Earth herself, ultimately we are one with Source and embodying the same as a whole.

But just as the releasing may have brought in a short period of calm and clearness, we are only beginning this particular phase. I remember being in Asheville, NC during the recent four hurricanes. Although not experiencing them to the degree that other areas did, we did have our ramifications. During this time, I found myself sleeping deeply and feeling a great sense of calm at certain points.

Some may notice that this seems to be the case after it rains. We are now in a great cleansing period and these "cleansings" seem to come, just like the hurricanes, back to back, keeping up the momentum for purification and alignment. As soon as one episode ends, another seems to arrive right on its heels. This is causing tension and what feels like stress and body aches, as there is still and will continue to be throughout 2005, much pushing and releasing caused by this highly directed, moving energy.

We may feel "snappy", irritable, or just plain unstable as so much is moving and our reality is changing at many levels. At these times it can be very helpful to let go, trust, and go with the flowing river around us, not trying to hold onto the shore. It will take us right where we need to land, and we will land precisely where we need to "settle in" for the New World. And again, plenty of exercise, water and breathing are natural and easy ways to keep the flow going within us.

As this crumbling and dismantling of the old continues very rapidly now, we will find ourselves "sought after" and in great demand. As much of everything is disappearing, many will feel lost and confused. This year begins the process of contributing what we know through service to humanity. We will be asked for our wisdom and expertise. And as we contribute this assistance, we will find ourselves "out of the way" and just being and vibrating our own special energy as if on automatic pilot.



THE STAR BEINGS

As the veil is basically gone that separated us from the higher realms, we now have access to MUCH. There are pockets of energy, other realities and most certainly other dimensional beings now at our disposal more than ever before. If you feel as though you are being "bombarded" by all kinds of energies and activity, this may be the reason why. We are now able to "sense" more than ever before, a whole new reality and world that surrounds us.

With so many realities and energies now at our disposal, we have the option as masters to choose which reality and energy to tap into and experience. Through intention (the masculine) and allowing (the feminine), we can truly experience what we choose with this balanced way of being. We need not be victims.

With the mergings and openings to the higher realms and vibrations, it is precisely now that we will begin to experience our reunions with our parental seed families from the stars. And ironically, as soon as we "re-unite", we will begin the process of separation from them.

They brought us many gifts. We vibrate much as they do. We hold their blueprints to a degree. I always enjoyed giving soul readings, as having the opportunity to see and experience all the incredible variations of vibrations and "blueprints" or personality traits, if you will, of each "star" and its offspring was an incredible experience.

For this amazing Shift Of The Ages, we agreed as individual "star families" to send a representative here to Earth, to incarnate and embody this ascension experience and then send it back to our family of origin for all to benefit. This is one reason why we see so many interpretations of what is going on. Each of us vibrates according to where we came from.....we carry a unique vibration and energy from a vast array of planets as it has assisted us in contributing an incredible individual, unique and needed energy for this massive undertaking.

As we carry, then, the special energy and "purpose" of our own individual star families, as well as containing it in our numerology, astrological and various other vibratory imprints, we used these gifts and talents to contribute to the whole in our own unique ways. Our star families monitored us through-out this ascension process and watched us closely, as we were representing them as well.

We are now at a point where everything is changing and moving into another phase or "ascension point". We are more incredible and special than we could ever know, as we are truly the pioneers and way showers for the ascension experiment. It is an amazing and monumental opportunity of unique proportions.

As we have "spun off" and released much of our multidimensional aspects and realities where we had infused our energy in order to experience as much as possible by embodying Source energy and creating with it, we must now, "spin off" and release our parental star families as well.

Part of the ascension process involves releasing all attachments. Like children who have left home and now grown up, we no longer need advice and protection from home. But here is the key: We are creating home here. This is BRAND NEW. We get to create whatever we want and however we want this New World to be. There is no blueprint.

But what THERE IS, is an incredible opportunity to merge in creations with all the various unique vibrations emanating from each of us. We all have a special contribution to make, and a unique and needed idea for part of this New World. We are creating from scratch. Something brand new. And what makes this process unique, as we have all created planets and realities before, is that we are coming together AS A WHOLE. Wow!

There will be some non-physical star families who may become overly involved with this part of the process. This is not theirs to do. Most will sit by and watch, aware of the process and gloriously grateful for our experience, allowing us total and complete freedom to create what we choose. Our natural state of being is total freedom, and the ascension process most assuredly creates this desire within us as that is how we are now vibrating more than ever.

As we may welcome and appreciate the higher ways that our star families are able to introduce to us, the plan is to make this part of the experience "invitation only". If we are feeling pushed and ordered around, I would say to you that whoever is doing the invading and pushing is not of the highest order. This will also be an opportunity to strengthen our own personal boundaries, remember that putting ourselves FIRST is of the highest order, and choose to experience what FEELS GOOD and right for us at all costs.

In addition, as we create and continue with this ascension process, our star families and other non-physical beings will ascend after us. We are going first in all ways. We are creating the path and showing the way. We will then, eventually be the non-physical angels and guides to the current non-physical beings around us. What an incredible opportunity and experience. We are helping and assisting a vast amount of past realities and creations throughout the cosmos. We are truly starting over.

I am finally nearly unpacked. I have sorted and sifted and "unloaded" most of everything. I am now at the phase of "decorating" my new house. As a prior fabric designer with upholstery and various other home fabric design projects, this part is the most fun of all. And so it is with our current experience on Earth. We are at the place where we get to "decorate" and create what we want. Most of the "moving" is done. We have arrived in our new vibrational home. We get to make it beautiful, incredible, unique and glorious, and it feels WONDERFUL.

Are you ready to create the New World? Are you ready to make your unique and special contibution through your passion and joy?

I thank you for sharing in my joy of being me through this energy alert. Many blessings, much peace, and incredible joy in these miraculous times,

Karen



What's Up On Planet Earth? is a free/donation based energy alert connecting us through information about physical, emotional, spiritual and planetary changes many of us are experiencing , including inspiring stories and suggestions for living in the New evolving vibration and a view of the world soon to come (it's truly beautiful!). And know that although many of us are having similar ascension experiences, we are going through these incredible changes at a time and in a way unique to each of us. To your unending joyful creations!

Your financial support makes it possible to continue offering the What's Up On Planet Earth? information free of charge on our web site and through the latest e-mail energy alerts. To make a donation, click here

About Karen: Karen Bishop has had lifelong inner knowing of human and planetary evolution and events, as well as psychic ability and multidimensional access since birth. She possesses a varied background in metaphysical studies and training. Karen left her prior career as a grantwriter, non-profit consultant and newspaper columnist to be in her joy and creativity through this energy alert. She is no longer giving Soul Readings, but is currently working on her book "Finding Your Soul Purpose/A Part Of Ascension".

To join the What's Up On Planet Earth? mailing list and receive the latest energy alerts, click here.

Visit the What's Up On Planet Earth? web site at http://www.whatsuponplanetearth.com

Contact Karen at karen@whatsuponplanetearth.com

When I woke this morning I felt like I had learned one of the secrets of the Universe. I felt great. The Universe had opened itself up to me and my desires. It offered to me whatever I wanted. I was mine for the taking.

Then I got an email from a friend who does astrology.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)
This is the time of reconciliation. If you need to release some old memories so that you can move forward Monday is the new moon and it will be empowering you for three more days. Dance to light of the darkness – in other words, get into your deeper self for answers. Choose the metal silver at this time and also consider the moonstone to remind you that you are a manifestation of the divine.

I realized that it is part of the new moon's influence on me. Though I'll admit I'm feeling a little bittersweet about my dream last night.

Hanging with famous folks in your dreams

I rarely have dreams like this one. One where I know some of the people in my dream by name but do not know them as a friend or acquaintance.

I found myself in an area with a bunch of people. These people felt like friends because I was very relaxed around them. Relaxed enough to really just let myself be me. We were all just having fun going from one place to another and all these places were in walking distance. It seemed like we were out doors watching a huge movie screen and laying around having fun, enjoying life. At the same time it was almost like we were out a concert. Anyway, so a couple of us were mimicking the singer, who of all people was Kid Rock. LOL I have no idea why him but it was. Basically what we were doing was lip syncing and acting silly. Well here we were doing this when Kid Rock walked up. I remember feeling a little embarrassed but he was a good sport about it and said that we had done it very well. Off he went so then we were all still socializing and there was some kind of... I'm not sure what to call it. Well it wasn't dancing and it wasn't sex... I don't know what to call it. Anyway, I was dancing with this one guy who left fairly quickly and this other one came and started dancing... He had turned and placed his back up against my front and I ran my hands down his hips, to his thighs, then to the inner thigh. I did this a couple of times when Kid Rock showed up again. As he was walking past the guy he pointed towards him and said "Your (inaudible) is hard". The guy said something back and told me to do it again and I did and he said see?

Then I was at some kind of special thing, like well it was like I had become part of some singers group.. Not in the band but I helped them. I was walking into the auditorium and talked to this guy who caught my attention (another famous guy though in the dream he wasn't) we talked briefly. I sat down and found myself sitting next to the singer. She was really funny but flighty. We watched something but she and I mostly talked. Then she said we have to pick up before we leave. So she got up and picked up some stuff and then I did then same and a few others pitched in. Then we walked down these steps and out.

Then we walked into several rooms where we got to shake hands with famous people. I was surprised that they would allow that to happen as it seemed like they were all in meetings. It was a bit strange.

I met up with the guy again and we kissed and held hands and then kind of went our own way in what was going on. I started talking to the other people and met another man but it was so briefly I don't remember anything about him but the first guy was watching. I kept remembering his lips. So again when we were done we had to pick up. I was having a really good time with all these people though this time I wound up picking up most of the stuff. There was a woman I talked to who was telling me about her husband and his name kept reminding me of someone but I couldn't remember who. I was really enjoying these other people, talking to them. There were some horrible kids but they were horrible because their parents ignored them. So we went to the next place and now I figured out the singer we were all with was Brittany Spears. Please don't ask I have no idea why. There were some different people in the group and the first man and I had a few encounters by now. You know the stolen kisses and touching. This lady walked in and everyone started clapping. I still don't know who she was. She had almost black hair, it was long, a broad smile. She hurried by us and someone behind me said if ever there was a person with a perfect pitch it was her. Then this other lady, who for some reason I knew was a know it all, said "No she isn't she it too high by 7% and to low in (inaudible)". The thing was it was like she was singing her response to prove to us she was right. I got up to go to the bathroom, to get away from that woman. So I go in the bathroom and I got this really nasty dirty feel in there. These women in there were strange. The one in front of me wouldn't hurry up and get to a stall. When all of a sudden several of them started throwing up. I remembering thinking oh no... I was worried I may do the same. I noticed that when one girl came out of one of the stall she didn't open the door but crawled under. I caught a glimpse of someone hiding in there. Then the others finished throwing up and left. As I was preparing to leave this guy comes busting in and yells at me where is she? I have no idea who she is and tell him that, he accused me of lying and asked me again where Riki was. I said I don't know a Riki. Now I've figured out that this person hiding must be this Riki. So I told him I was the only one in there and I didn't see or know a Riki. So he left and I did right behind him. I get back and there was something like a lecture going on. So I eased quietly up the steps to my seat. I had told this lady that if I couldn't find my seat to wave at me. So I spotted her and went to sit down just in time for this singer to go by singing. LOL So she and I talked some more about our lives. Then that was over and we could hear an air raid siren. It was a bit different than the sound normally heard and I asked so it that the sound that a real air raid is happening. This man said yes but then it was like he didn't know.

So that ended and we went outside and the man that I felt an attracting to showed up again. This time he kissed me in front of the others and grabbed my hand and held on to it. We were all standing outside looking at something. They were pointing to it saying it's right there and all I saw was some smoke. Then we all went inside and he and I sat down together still holding hands. I felt so relaxed and comfortable with him. He had to go do something and I saw the lady I had been talking with so I went and sat with her. We again started talking and I told her I had been divorced since May. She said she had been divorced for three years and as she continued to talk I realized that she had been married to the man that I was attached to.

There was a bunch of other stuff in this dream but it was little conversation I can't remember what was said, talking to the children, playing and such.

Dreams

I had traveled somewhere and I don't think it was a visit but more of just going type thing. It seemed like everyone in this dream was young (late teens to mid 20's). This blonde girl sorted of took me under her wing and kept me out of trouble. Apparently I was working but it wasn't for money but room and board.


These horses were everywhere. Different kinds of horses also. I was standing next to the fence when they were turned loose. They all took off running down this hill. I stood watching them wondering why my job wasn't to be working with them instead of what I was doing. (which I have no idea what I was doing) My heart felt so heavy and I walked towards this tall tree stump. I stood facing it, leaning into it. There was a rope laying on top of it. I picked it up and started messing with it. The blond girl drove up in her car. I was separating the strands of a rope. I began to cry before she got to me. All I could think of was here I am surrounded by horses and I have not been allowed around one. She came up and was trying to console me. She put her arm around me and walked me back to where we stayed.

My spirits were a little better and we all went to our, and the word that keeps coming to my mind is cell but I realize now that I was in a abandoned monastary. I needed to go to the bathroom so I got up and headed to where it was. I noticed about half way down the corridor that I was naked. I turned the corner to the right and there was someone walking towards me. So I was going to slip into this empty cell but when I did someone stuff was in there. When I stepped out there was a man with black hair and he didn't seem amused by the intrusion at all. I did have a kleenex with me though. Somehow this kleenex was big enough to cover the front of my body, all the way to the floor btw. A young man was walking towards me and said nice chest and I looked down wondering about that. lol I was hoping he didn't turn when he passed me because this kleenex was only covering the front of me. This corridor ended and you had to turn to your left. There were a lot of people down this way out moving around. There I was sort of naked acting like I wasn't or that it wasn't unusual.

There is a lot of feelings and stuff that I can't put into words, that happened in this dream. Also there are people who were in the dream that I remember seeing but don't remember a lot more about them or why I saw them.

I Am the New Year

I Am the New Year

I am the new year. I am an unspoiled page in your book of time.

I am your next chance at the art of living.

I am your opportunity to practice what you have learned about life during the last twelve months.

All that you sought and didn't find is hidden in me, waiting for you to search it out with more determination.

All the good that you tried for and didn't achieve is mine to grant when you have fewer conflicting desires.

All that you dreamed but didn't dare to do, all that you hoped but did not will, all the faith that you claimed but did not have--these slumber lightly, waiting to be awakened by the touch of a strong purpose.

I am your opportunity to renew your allegiance to yourself, in whom all possibilities exist

-- Author Unknown

Tuesday night dream

The dream I had last night was pretty interesting.

We were traveling I think on a train. That's something I've never done. We got off the train at this one place to eat. It was just a little place, really not much bigger than a house. For that fact the way it was set up it probably was at one time. I don't remember who the "other" people with me were. I just know they were there. We sat at tables with people you didn't know. They were just big long tables. I found a seat and it was like the meal wasn't even noticed. Everyone was talking and laughing. Though I do remember thinking the food was good. Two of the people I was with got up and left. I was getting the other one. I think it was suppose to be Michael. He got his shoes on and left. I don't know why his shoes where off unless it was simply a symbol for leaving. This place was run by a man and his son. The man was so sweet and the boy was too. I say boy but he was like late teens. The man was stopping and talking to everyone. All of a sudden I noticed all the other people were gone. I was the only customer there. The man sat down and talked with me for a moment and then we were outside. I was telling him about my trip and how much fun I had meeting everyone. He reached out and took my hand and held it, fingers interlocked. I was a little uncomfortable as I didn't know this man but I wasn't worried. It was just not appropriate way to hold someone's hand you really didn't know. So I compared our hands. I held mine up to his palm to palm. He laughed saying I had little hands and then he interlocked fingers again. I couldn't help myself. I willing held his hand too. Then this woman showed up, she was probably in her 20's. So we were all talking and she asked me to say a certain phrase. LOL Reminded me of Jo and her Do declare request. LOL I was looking around at the landscape and I could see the moon back behind some trees. I was telling them about living in Green Coves Springs, Florida and about how big those trees were. I pointed out one of the trees that was similar and that's when I saw the moon. I was looking around and there was mountains to my left. I saw some lights on top of it, sort of like headlights. The lady got up and went a little ways towards the tree I had pointed out and bought back with her a pony. A little sorrel pony. Though the words Welsh Pony were in my head part of me was saying but that's a Shetland pony. It turned and looked at me and I stroked it's face. The woman was gone and the man and boy were back. Then man was asking me something I wasn't understanding because I felt lost in the conversation. He asked me to stay. He said you can stay here. What do you have to lose? Then the boy said you can have all of this too. He motioned at all the surrounding. We talked about my connecting with the land and so forth earlier in the dream.

I woke up.

It was just an interesting dream.

I had some strange stuff last night.

For instance I remember dream of having sex with Tom but the part that really made me wonder was that I was on top talking to him just like we would be carrying on a conversation anywhere. LOL I remember thinking I shouldn't be doing that because Dallas may have something catching. Then I thought why am I doing this it isn't even enjoyable or I wouldn't be carrying on a conversation with him.

Someone screamed in my ear you're going to wake up at 0730. I mean screamed.

Then the phone rang. 0549hrs. It scared me because one the phone never rings that time and it brought back memories of Tom being called out. Then I looked at the caller ID and it showed an out of area number. When I answered it, it sounded like the call was being recorded. You know the beeping sound?

I couldn't go back to sleep because then I was worried it was someone from across the pond and they were in trouble. So I tried to scan but didn't feel anything. My sleep would not come.. Until oh... 0630. The alarm was set for 0645 to get Michael up. I went to sleep after I woke Michael up. I woke up at 0732. LOL

It's getting close to that time of the month. I'm getting... emotional again. Somebody said something on another list that was totally right about OT stuff and I had that flash of anger where I almost unsubbed immediately. I didn't catch that when it happened. Then today I was watching Charmed. I almost cried over Piper wanting to give up her powers. For that fact I wanted to cry through most of the show. The I tried to find something to watch later and decided to watch Finding Nemo. Yeah I kept tearing up. I do not like being this emotional. Oh and was rubbing Michael's head and started getting teary. This is annoying. lol AND I noticed a couple of days ago that I had the munchies. I'm talking bad munchies. That usually happens closer to my period. This is an example. an apple with caramel dip, then Triscuits, then 2 pickles... that's the way it was going. I'm going to have to do something about this. I'm going to be thinking about it.

My concrentrations sucks. I was trying to remember Dale's brothers name and couldn't even remember the first letter. I made an appointment for Tom for tomorrow I can't remember for sure the time, as I sit here at the computer. Luckily I did put it on the calendar. LOL I've had a head every night for about 8 nights. Oh and I've got a zit! Damn... It terrible.

OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mom and I had a talk about sex... Yeah... She usually gives me more information than I want. So she and I were asking questions like... Why do men name their penis? Why do they let it think for them? How come they think it is separate from them? Why does it rules their actions? Why are men obessessed with their penises. You know things like that. We laughed and were having fun. Then... she said I probably shouldn't be telling you this but... "the other night dad (74 years old) said I thought of sex twice today but Mr Ike didn't want to get up". She said I patted him on the arm and said "Well then we'll just wait for him to stand up then". I almost peed myself. She really cracks me up.

Plus, I'm getting messages from 3 and 4 days ago. I have no idea if I've answered or not. I'm frustrated at that. I feel out of whack enough without messages screwing with my mind.

I'm tired, I'm feeling stressed..

Oh I need to add that I'm going to take a picture of all the cards I got and post it in my photo album. I think it would be good for everyone to get to see.

Aud I got your card Yesterday. Thank you so much... It really made me feel so much better. So it's in the office to help. I have a thank you card from our own Miss Anna that is sitting here by my monitor. Everytime I look at it I smile. I think I'm going to keep the cards and put them in a scrape book. Then if I start feeling lost I can look at the cards and get sappy. :-) So thank you all who sent cards. It is really wonderful. I like that we did that. A special thanks to Draig for putting it together.

Holy Cow Batman!

Talk about nightmares!

I don't know if what happened early this AM was a dream or something that happened. I'm thinking maybe on the astral.

It was a pretty involved dream but I had captured some kind of creature and placed it in a box. Someone let it out. So what I saw was this thing floating around. Kind of like how they show ghosts on TV. However it was cylindrical shape. It had a face and looked forlorn. I found myself some where that there were something like 3 towers. Some man was on one I was on one and it seemed like there was a dog on the other. We couldn't see anything below us. It was like we were above the clouds. I remember there was a coat like mountain climbers wear hanging on the tower I was hanging onto. Then It was floating around what looked like a steel structure that wasn't completed. Some man warned me not to touch it as it would electrocute me. It went by a light switch and looked so sad. So I watched it trying to figure out how I could put it back in the box.

That was the first strange bit.

Then there were these aliens that were all over the place. I kind of landed in the middle of this dream. They had killed one of these aliens. It was pretty big. Looked similar to an octopus but the skin was a reddish pink. What looked like the head was falling back and exposed these big teeth. Meat eater teeth, they were all pointy. They were talking with pride on having gotten this one but there were more. There were these smaller version, but they looked different. They were kind of like kitten size hairy creatures. However they had the same teeth. Apparently if they could get to your mouth they could take you over or something. Funny enough there were two men and me talking about this and it almost seemed like I was in bed because there were a lot of covers. Anyway they were laughing and saying that they President had been killing the alien things off by shooting them. This little alien ran up to the first man but was scared away then came running over my covers. The men were laughing and said you better hurry up and shoot it. I didn't have a gun. It came right to me mouth with those big teeth and was trying to get in. In the dream I clinched my teeth really tight and was trying to find a gun. I woke myself up saying boom. LOL I was faking having a gun.

Anyway I panicked. I started trying to figure out if my mouth had been open or not. I lay there going over what had just happened in the dream thinking could this be real. I finally had it memorized enough and got up to go to the bathroom. On my way I burped but it felt like this burp went down instead of up. I went back to bed and scared myself some more. I started running through a list of what should I do. Rosetta and I have been talking about energy a bit and I had read earlier where she had been saying she calls on AA Michael everyday for protection. So I thought ok... Since that is what came to mind maybe I should go with that. I felt a little ridiculous because part of me was trying to calm me down. I covered up my mouth and tried to go back to sleep. 2 hours later I finally did. I was so hot for the rest of the night. I put that one down to hot flashes, though I wasn't sweating at all. Every little twinge or pain freaked me out. My stomach was upset before I went to bed and I had to remind myself of that fact.

Needless to say I feel wishy washy about what happened. Part says you scared yourself and another part isn't so sure of that.


Ok after the alien thing and I did get to go back to sleep another dream took over. Me and some other women were in a building that had been taken over by these men. The one in charge wanted me. For some reason though he couldn't just take me I had to say I would go with him. I told him that would never happen. We kept hiding from them though they found us easily enough and then it would seem that we weren't hiding but maybe it was huddling together for safety. I'm not sure. Anyway, the lead guy said you will give in and I assured him I wouldn't. They took one of the girls baby and said I had a certain time to make my decision or the baby would die. Yeah no pressure there. So he left with the other men. When they came back he led me into this room. He made some comment about being his and I was plotting on how to kill him. I knew I needed the distraction that would keep him off guard. Then I heard him say something about being dressed the way I was. In a skirt, he said that skirt and those high heels... Saying I had dressed just for him. I was a bit confused and almost said no these are the shoes I always wear with a skirt. I didn't because this would be the distraction I needed. He bent me over this counter and he was working on penetration, funny I helped him in. I remember thinking this isn't too bad but was plotting still how to save the others.

Then I woke up and got out of bed. Yeah, I have some interesting stuff going on in my head.