Hounds

I received a message and I knew that someone would be chosen. I hurried to my car upon seeing to two Irish Wolf Hounds sitting in the parking lot entrance. See you had to take them if you were chosen. I hurried out of the parking lot, checking my mirror the female Wolf Hound stood up and stared at me.

Then my dream changed. Yes, that was a snippet from my dream this morning before I woke. I was afraid of what would happen if I was the one chosen. There seem to be a very large responsibility associated with being chosen. I wanted to go back to the dream. When I tried it was something totally different.

:-(

I am finding the way I think interesting. Not necessarily in a good or bad way.

See for a long time in my marriage I realized that the it was just sex and not making love. I knew it was true for me anyway. I never voiced this to the ex as I didn't want it to be hurtful to him. Needless to say I just never said anything. Well the other day he and I were talking, he was telling me about being back with the same woman who has taken him for a lot of money. That is for another time though. So he was talking about how making love with her was different this time, blah, blah, blah. That having sex with Tracy (who was another girlfriend in between times wih the other one) was great and blah blah blah. Then he goes on and talks about the sex between he and I. He referred to it as screwing. Now, see that really hurt my feelings and I've been thinking about this for a week now. I'm having a hard time figuring out why it hurts so much that he would refer to it that way when I myself didn't feel like it was anything more than sex. Maybe it's the term he chose. I dont' know, but it bothers me.

I've been trying to work out in my head why it seems to be worse that he voiced what I had felt. Could be the fact that I felt it but didn't realize that maybe it's how he felt too. I just don't know.