It's a quiet day. Memorial Day and all here. I'm a little between drained and not. I'm not sure what's up with that though. Unless maybe it's more like going between depression and being ok.

It's a rainy day here today. I love the rain though. I woke this morning several times with the rain trying to beat it's way through the sky lights in the bedroom. It's a nice sound. As the rain drops fell it lulled me back to sleep a couple of times. I woke up feeling very cuddly. Marvin (cat) jumped up on the bed and started petting me. LOL He loved his attention this morning. I feel like I should give him a lot after him protecting me as well as he does. It's not his fault that I'm thick skulled and didn't pick up on what he was doing. lol He loves to play in my hair. He kneads and kneads.. LOL Of course then my hair is all messed up.

Trusting is starting to be something that I'm fighting. I don't want to keep trusting but I guess it's wrong when you don't.

Today I was sitting here thinking on a love past. Annoyed that a betrayal had been allowed be me. I knew better yet let it happen anyway. So with that in mind I was thinking of his possibly next betrayee... and I wrote this and sent it on the wind.

Open your eyes so you may see,
If there is truth in front of thee.

Do not be blinded by words so sweet,
see them for what they are prepare for retreat.

Do not be frightened by what you see there,
for in love and war all is fair.

Protect your heart from those untrue,
Take special care from me to you.


Hehe... every bit of it is true. Whether anyone believes it or not I'm quite the champion when it comes to helping others when I know they are going to get hurt. There is no malice in what I sent. It's just helpful words and hopefully hints.

Georgia is poisonous! Induce vomitting if ingested.

N POISON

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

UCAUTION

IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP WIXA AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

G	Glitzy
E	Entertaining
O	Orderly
R	Revolutionary
G	Goofy
I	Intelligent
A	Ambitious

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

S	Shocking
M	Masculine
I	Innocent
L	Loving
I	Insane
N	Naughty
G	Gentle
M	Mischievous
O	Odd
O	Outrageous
N	Nice

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

I learned something I thought I'd share. I must say this may not be the same for you guys but it will maybe make you more aware of things.

A little time ago I was out cutting roses from my rose bushes and got scratched by an orange rose. I was thinking on someone when I got scratched. Then a betrayal took place with that person. I should be more clear that person betrayed me.

So now I will be more aware of what is happening around me. The little messages are sometimes missed. Though mine wasn't missed had I not already had a feeling it was true then I would have missed it.

I've been thinking today, well that and reading some stuff. Trying to decide how to work this all out in my head. The hows and whys of what are happening to me. You know actually that doesn't sound right.

I just don't know. I feel rather strange right now. It's like I've been given a puzzle to figure out and I'm just not sure where to start.

Shifts and Changes by Doreen Virtue
From: praynwing@aol.com

Ever since the Harmonic Concordance of November 8, 2003, we've been
catapulted into huge personal changes. Most of us feel peaceful and trustful
of the changes, even though we may not have a clear picture of where we're
headed. One lightworker told me recently, "I can feel that I'm moving to a
different part of the country. I don't know where, but I trust that I'll be
perfectly led." Another lightworker reflected these sentiments when she told
me, "Everything in my life is completely changing. Usually, I'd be worried
and want to know exactly what's going on. But for some reason, I feel
totally calm and peaceful about it all."

As I've written about previously, many people are undergoing physical
transformations as they're Divinely guided to change their diets and
lifestyle. Other lightworkers are making the transition into
self-employment or relationship changes.

One thing's clear, though: those who fight and resist these guided changes
are experiencing emotional and life turbulence. It's very important to go
with the flow right now, and to follow the waves of inner guidance that
lovingly push you to do things like: meditate; eat more healthfully; avoid
chemicals; exercise; heal or make changes in jobs and relationships; awaken
your manifesting and healing ability; move to a new residence; heal and
clear yourself; get your finances in order; take classes; write, teach, and
read; and other guidance that helps you and your loved ones to spiritually
grow.

We're all riding the wave of ascension and it's part of the mass awakening
process. As you become more aware of the magnificent light and love within
yourself and others, the old illusions of darkness begin to shrink away.
This shift in "power" from the darkness to the light necessarily creates
changes.

The one thing you can count on right now is change. You're changing, and
everyone around you is changing. The governments; education, medicine, and
all aspects of the world are changing. Although we may not know the specific
ways in which these changes will shake-out, we do know that it's all for the
best.

Your part is very important: Keep your mind focused on seeing only the
Light and the Love within yourself and others. Know that you are God's
treasure, and you are an amazingly powerful, awesome, valuable, holy,
creative, and much-needed soul. Don't play little or compromise in your
life. Look for ways to express Divine love to everyone, including yourself.
And enjoy the ride of these beautiful changes as we usher in the new age of
peace, cooperation, and manifestation!

You Are Shape-Shifting Into A New Reality
by Archangel Michael through Ronna Herman

Beloved masters of Light, a new day is dawning on your Earth, an era that has been prophesied and foretold for many ages past. The holographic pictures that have formed your realities are shifting and you feel vulnerable and left without an identity that you can relate to, or parameters to guide you.

What is happening is this, you went through the process of releasing all that you thought was important in your third dimensional reality, surrendering your relationships, your possessions, your perception of what and who you were as you moved into harmony and attunement with your higher self. Gradually accessing more refined energy, higher frequencies, new information and greater wisdom. Then you eventually became more comfortable with your fourth dimensional reality as you worked through all the negative emotional energies that came bubbling up from within your subconscious
mind, sweeping out and clearing outmoded perceptions. The pulsating, transforming
Light frequencies reverberated throughout the depths of your cellular structure and began to break loose all the impacted energies that have accumulated down through the ages--stirring them up, moving them out to be released and replaced with Divine Light substance. As you began to resonate to a quickened vibration--more of your vaster being, your soul-self, your higher-self, your Christ-Self began to, once again, take up
residency and dominion within your physical vessel.

You had a whole new set of rules to live by, a wonderful plethora of exciting information, new wisdom to assist you to function in this new reality in which you now found yourself. Joy and bliss became the norm and gradually you began to manifest your dreams and visions and come together with those you recognized instantly as your soul family. You began to share, teach and project this new vision, this new persona you had taken on and the world began to look much brighter.

Now suddenly, it seems you have taken a step backward, many of you have suddenly manifested dramatic illnesses that you do not understand; obstacles are placed in your way, hampering your progress, what you thought was your mission, your gift to humanity. Many of you can no longer find the solace in meditation, or reach upward (or inward) and tap into the loving feeling of Oneness with the Beings of Light. You feel a void, a sense of loss, or at least, a sense of unreality.

Let us reassure you, Beloved Ones, it is all a part of the process. Your present year has been a time of great acceleration. We are infusing you with the maximum amount of Christ- Light or Divine Substance from the Creator that your physical vessels can contain. In doing so, it has jolted or sped you along the path of initiation, or upward in the ascension process, however you wish to define it. And so, each time you lift your
consciousness or tap into a higher frequency and incorporate it in any part of
your being, whether it is physical/emotional/mental or etheric, it permeates the very
depths of your being and releases any corresponding impacted or negative energies that resonate at a lower frequency.

Many of these energies were imprinted in your etheric and emotional bodies during those ancient experiences of your earliest physical incarnations on the earth plane . They are very powerful indeed and have affected you in every lifetime you have experienced since--adding to and magnifying the negative energies until they held you in bondage, creating pain and suffering.

These are energies that have kept you from having the perfect health you desire; the strong, attractive body you dream of; the abundance, the power, the relationships, on and on. And so you see, in order to assist you and keep you from going into overwhelm, your higher self puts you in what might be called a null zone, or a period of `no time'. These are terms that are currently being bandied about in connection with the Photon Belt and are valid concepts but they also apply to you personally.

Your Earth's rotation is slowing due to the decrease in planetary magnetics, while at the same time the vibrations or frequencies of your Earth are increasing. Every human being living on the Earth is being affected by this shift, as well as every other living thing that exists on the planet. At least, each being is trying to match these new frequencies in order to stay attuned to the Earth, as the old frequencies are no longer tolerable.

Those of you who are the way showers, the Light Warriors, have far exceeded these base frequencies and are functioning from a much higher resonance. Your reality is centered in the etheric body of the Earth that has moved into the mid-level fourth dimension. But, your beloved planet is also progressing rapidly, and as it does, your reality must continue to change. All that you thought was your truth, your new way of functioning and
being, your new identity, is swiftly melting away. A new holographic picture is emerging and, in your uncertainty, you wonder where you fit in this new scheme and what are you to do now? WHO ARE YOU?

Again, precious ones, we say, relax, release, and realize that this, too, is just a part of the never-ending spiral. No longer will you be allowed to stagnate or even stay at a certain level very long--time and the process of transformation is moving too rapidly. Your language is changing, your thought-forms are different. The old areas of your brain which contain your past are gradually being refined or released so it is beginning to seem as though everything that happened before, even last year, is a vague dream. New areas of your brain are being activated and you must learn to think in a whole new way. Light packets of information, holographic pictures of great significance and sacred geometric patterns will begin to come into your consciousness and you must learn how to decipher these. It may seem as if those you are moving beyond no longer understand you, or you cannot find words to carry on the old mundane patterns of conversation. You will also find that you do not need to verbalize every thought as you begin to telepathically pick up the energies and thoughts of those around you. You will not need words, and you will not be easily deceived. You will speak your truth with spiritual integrity and you will no longer play the games of the past.

As you don your refined, spiritual light garments and awareness, be gentle with yourself. You may feel very vulnerable at times, you may feel as if you are losing an important part of yourself, and this is true. But it is a part that no longer serves you, even though you have become comfortable in carrying this old baggage around, it is time to release all that you can not take with you as you move back into your perfect form of Light.

You descended into a beautiful, perfect etheric\physical vessel, a divine body brought forth from the mind of the Creator. Allow us to give you an analogy of what took place those aeons ago and what is now taking place. Imagine that you are a diver about to descend to the floor of the ocean. You are buoyant and can only float on the surface unless you attach anchors or weights to yourself so that you can descend and walk on the ocean floor, or have some means of propulsion that will carry you into the depths. It is the same with your Spirit being. You had to take on density in order to descend into physicality. And, you took on much more density than was originally planned, asking it even more difficult to emerge once again to the surface or what is called the higher dimensions.

So see yourself shedding the anchors and the weights that are keeping you walking the depths, in the quagmire, the fog and illusion of the lower dimensions. Allow yourself to shed the layers, the burdens that are keeping your stuck or anchored, allow yourself to soar, once again, into the rarified heights . Are you aware that those of you who have advanced your frequencies and resonance beyond that of the Earth are actually assisting your beloved planet to move higher up the spiral? That is part of your mission, dear ones, to assist your brothers and sisters, but also to be Light streams that become stronger and more buoyant, lifting the mass consciousness, clearing the Golden Etheric Web of your Mother Earth so that she, too, can once again claim her divine position in the grand drama of evolution.

We implore you, do not become attached to any way of being, any one modality, any philosophy that is too narrow or structured, or buy into any agreement that gives power to someone outside yourself. Discernment, discernment, discernment--I can not emphasize this enough, for as quickly as an apparent truth comes forth and you incorporate it into your belief system, it may be superseded by a higher truth, or a new concept. In looking back, can you not see that much of the knowledge you now accept as your absolute truth were beyond your wildest imagining five years ago, or even a year ago? Be aware that what you are so certain about today, will undoubtedly change tomorrow, or next week.

That is why you are feeling so vulnerable, beloved ones, you are shape-shifting and so is your reality. You are in the midst of an ongoing dream that is fast-forwarding at an accelerated speed. If you allow the fixations of the past and those antiquated energies to emerge, to be transmuted or dissolved, if you do not try to hang on to the old patterns, thought forms or structures, you will not feel so distressed, so out of control. You must admit that this is not a time of boredom, or stagnation, indeed, it is a what you have yearned for since that time long ago when you merged your magnificent Spirit-self into the limiting confines of a physical structure.

Awaken each day in joyful anticipation, with great expectancy, allow the day to unfold in its perfectness, gifting you with new delights, releasing you from shackles of the past. As we have stressed, over and over, stay in the event of the NOW, and in doing so, you are focusing on what is occurring in the moment. Each moment, each thought, each event is of vast importance, for the treasures of new wisdom, new insights, new powers of reasoning, new gifts are pouring forth at an astonishing rate and you must be open to receive them. With each new impulse of a higher vibration, a portion of your existing reality begins to dissolve as the pattern repeats time and time again.

You cannot fail, you can only hold yourself back and create discomfort if you struggle and keep yourself submerged in the old density. Accept these most precious gifts that are being offered, become your own sacred witness, as you glean, sort, release and refine the information and experiences that move into your awareness. Do not become bogged down or attached to any set pattern, or modality as you gradually emerge from the cocoon of physical/humanity into the crystalline form of spiritual/humanity. Allow yourself to ride the crest of the mighty waves of transformation. There is nothing to fear, precious ones, and so very much to be gained. Feel the warmth of our sacred breath as it brushes your cheek, sense the aura of love in which we surround you. We are near, reach out and touch us--we will respond. You are not alone, you have never been alone. I AM ARCHANGEL MICHAEL.

Ronna states: I claim Universal Copyright for this material in the name of Lord Michael. Please copy and share!

May 2, 2004
Bringing "Home" To Earth

Greetings!

Beautiful things are on the horizon, as we have finally made the critical
leap into the New energy we all have all been waiting for. Currently, we
have been placed in a sort of "holding cell" with our individual energy.
This may feel like a sort of detachment or disconnection. What is actually
happening is that we are being protected and held at bay until all things
are in place for our arrival into the New. Much is going on behind the
scenes. Whether you are consciously aware of it or not, we all got together,
as we are the ultimate decision makers and creators of this incredible
process of ascension into the light, and created the next step. As always,
we know what we are doing and have choreographed it beautifully.

As we wait in our "protective bubbles", things on the earth plane are
being set up. Much is being done in regard to setting in place the energy
and foundation of the New. The Old has been escorted out in mass, and our
New homes, so to speak, are being readied for us. It looks incredibly
wonderful and exciting. We are finally coming into an energy that will feel
much more comfortable for us and much more like home. Hallelujah! The energy
of the Spring Equinox was so very powerful, as it needed to be, to really
shake things up. As certain energies were then "displaced" as they no longer
matched the energy of the New, they were then politely and lovingly escorted
to a new home. It looks sort of like a war has taken place in another
country.....the Old regime was removed.....and now the light has come in to
fill the openings. So now, loving New energies of the non-physical (which
are also us, in another infusion of our own energy and light) are putting in
our New furniture, making our beds, and filling our cupboards readying for
our coming home.

As the influx of the New energy arriving at the end of March planted the
"seed" and the New energy within us of where we now want to be within our
physical location, career location, personal relationship "location", and so
on, we will soon, then, be moving into the place of these "New" aspects of
ourselves. My grandson is due to arrive May 10. We have been eagerly
awaiting his arrival, knowing he will come when he knows the time is right.
As my daughter has reached a state of uncomfortableness in her body (and is
over-ready for the arrival!), I recently spoke to this New being Simeon that
we are so ready to receive. He says that he will come when the New energy is
integrated and in place, setting the foundation for the New world that he
has chosen to be a part of and to usher in as he embodies it within himself.
As my granddaughter Amayah arrived on the Summer Solstice during the Grand
Cross alignment of 2000 (when all that New feminine energy arrived), over
two months premature but with absolutely no health ramifications from her
early arrival, we know that these new little beings know exactly what they
are doing. In addition, Simeon carries an energy of full integration of
masculine and feminine (determining his sex through an energy reading was
near impossible!). His particular energy is of one who brings everything and
everyone together. So here is the New Unity energy once again. A gentle and
very loving soul, he embodies great peace as well. Here is wonderful
evidence of the arrival of the New.

So then, many who have been feeling the "no sense of place" energy that
the New influx brought, will soon be feeling so very right at home. The
earth plane is evolving beautifully into a place that we have envisioned for
so long. And know that the darker, lower vibrational energies have played a
pivotal and important part as well. ALL decided to take part in the
evolutionary process into the light. The darkness beautifully did its job of
showing us the contrast, or what we could no longer tolerate, so that we
would finally be VERY motivated to desire and create the New. We summoned
the New energy at the same time that the New energy arrived, there-by
meeting in a perfect convergence of creation. ALL has taken part in working
together.....we just had to reach pivotal points where enough energy had
reached a point where critical mass was affected. It could not have happened
any sooner. Although we have been ready since we arrived on this planet, ALL
needed to be ready. Now watch for the snowball effect. The New energy will
really roll, and at the same time, the Old will still be falling away and
falling apart (there-by that feeling of out of control or deterioration).
The trick is to hold onto the New, or whatever makes us feel good, or
whatever we need to do to nourish and feed ourselves while we follow our
passion.

Another phenomenon of evolution is affecting us as well. Some have
reached a point where they can absolutely not do things that they used to.
Some have experienced situations in their lives that have greatly encouraged
them to stop, slow down, or just to "be". What is happening here is the
refinement or the "pruning" of all that is within us that is not ours to do,
that does not match our purest form of the energy that is ours to vibrate.
We cannot do what we used to because we are not supposed to. We are reaching
our evolutionary place of only wearing our own particular hat. For some of
us (and this phenomenon is predominantly affecting first wave lightworkers),
we created a scenario that literally forced us to "give up" control of much.
And being in the moment has become the only way to be. This is in divine
right order as well. If we our going to be evolving into intentional
community, we need to experience the feeling of giving things up to
others.....of letting go of the control. When we get there, I have to say,
it feels wonderful! What we give up is always someone else's "hat" or
passion, so the pieces of the pie are always in perfect place. We will then
gravitate to whatever flavor or theme of pie we all vibrate in sync to. What
is yours? What is your vibration or passion about? What is your "piece" to
contribute?

Personally, I can no longer maintain or be a large part of designing my
website. I simply need and want to write, teach, be "out there" serving, and
in my creativity through painting and sewing. Recently, when I was ill, I
received the information that the cells of my body were not communicating
and working together as a whole. There was no "group process" going on. I
was told that as my body was a microcosm of the planet and all of its
energy, when it regained health and began working together from the effects
of the medication, then I would be vibrating the New group consciousness, or
the New unity consciousness. Then, I would be able to attract my vibration
on the outside as well. This affect will soon be integrated into everyone
and is already taking place now. (We will soon be offering our web site and
energy alerts in Spanish, due to the passion and heart of Roz
Sarmiento-Williams). So then, we will be creating small little vibrational
communities for ourselves, and coming together in a voluntary capacity of
support. Know that the process is on-going, and that we still have a long
way to go, but if we are in acceptance of where we are, and can find joy and
be in the moment, we will always be right where we need to be.

Which world will you choose to be in? Which world will you create?

If you have a passion for web design or maintence, or a great interest in
forums or in moderating them, we would welcome you in joining our volunteer
staff at What's Up On Planet Earth? and contributing your creativity and
ideas. Please feel free to contact Karen.

I thank you for sharing in my joy of being me through this energy alert.
Many blessings, much peace, and incredible joy in these miraculous times,

Karen

What's Up On Planet Earth?- an energy alert connecting us through
information about physical, emotional and planetary changes many of us are
experiencing , including inspiring stories and suggestions for living in the
new evolving vibration and a view of the world soon to come (it's truly
beautiful!). And know that although many of us are having similar
experiences, we are going through these incredible changes at a time and in
a way unique to each of us. To your unending joyful creations!

About Karen: Karen Bishop has had lifelong inner knowing of human and
planetary evolution and events, as well as psychic ability and
multidimensional access since birth. She possesses a varied background in
metaphysical studies and training. Karen left her prior career as a
grantwriter, non-profit consultant and newspaper columnist to be in her joy
and creativity through this energy alert, giving soul readings, and as a
custom design fabric artist for home interiors.

Tools For Comfort



1. Rest. Rest. Rest. Your body is going through an incredible transformation
and is on over-load. For those highly sensitives with fragile nervous
systems, rest can make all the difference. I have found that severely
limiting my activities and attending to extreme self-care has made a
considerable difference. It also has a natural by-product of putting you in
the higher realms.
2. Be in your creativity as much as possible. The higher energies crave
creativity, and you will naturally and automatically be elevated into the
higher realms, as well as opening a channel for that energy to flow more
easily.
3. Try not to resist the process. I have found that fear and resistance to
the ascension process only creates an unpleasant experience. Everything is
in divine right order. We all have our own special non-physical beings
monitoring our process (I have seen them!), and we will not be allowed to go
“too far” into a danger zone. We are never given more than we can handle,
even though sometimes it seems otherwise!
4. Monitor your thoughts. This is key. Higher and positive thoughts will
immediately place you in the higher realms, as well as assist greatly in
what you are creating. Find a “feel good” vision for yourself and use it
often. I frequently envision my perfect life in all ways. Know it will
arrive. You have the vision because you are supposed to be living it!
5. Let your soul guide you. We tend to want to be in control of what is
going on and may “over do” grasping for some kind of relief. If you let go
and ask, your soul will bring to you the messages you need (whether through
another person, a book, an e-mail, etc.), and is a great navigator for a
smoother and more pleasant transition. I have found that “less is more”. The
process itself has its own way of getting you where you need to go, and you
can easily over stimulate yourself by trying to take charge.
6. If you are guided to supplemental support, take it. Adrenal support and
amino acids have assisted me greatly. Our bodies are working overtime.
Relaxing herbs are good as well.
7. Although doctors may be baffled by your symptoms, as you don't fit into
their “niches”, they still may be of help. Our bodies have been thrown out
of balance and you may have a chemical imbalance, a hormonal imbalance, a
thyroid imbalance, or anything else that can benefit from a doctor's
diagnosis. Generally speaking, they aren't much help, but don't rule them
out completely.
8. Spend as much time in nature as you can.
9. If you're experiencing hypersensitivity, alter your lifestyle in regard
to crowds, excitement, and stress. I completely stay out of them.
10. Find your passion. Many times an uncomfortable situation will unfold
your passion and mission. That is part of the plan!
11. Spend time around our new little beings. I play with the children at my
granddaughter's daycare. Many of the new little ones are highly evolved and
will make you feel more “at home”.
12. Take Epsom salt baths.
13. Visit with friends and simply listen to their day. Remember, you are
“emptying out” much of your identity, and this may be all you can contribute
at times. It greatly helps to stay connected to others, even if you think
you don't want to be around people. It will also get your mind off your own
process.
14. Find endless ways to make yourself “feel good”. Read a good book, walk
in the forest, take a bath, get a massage, buy a new car, get a new wardrobe
take an art class you've always wanted to take, get your hair done,
redecorate! Feeling good is vital, and the universe will in turn support you
as you support yourself. This is our natural state of being and also places
us in the higher realms!
15. Try not to focus a lot on the strange symptoms you are experiencing, as
this will only serve to magnify them, and make THEM your reality! The
process will unfold on its own, so it's better to focus and become involved
in things you greatly enjoy or suggestions from this list.
16. Just love everybody.....especially yourself.
17. Make a personal declaration about how you would like your own ascension
process to unfold. You are the master here, and we need not feel like
victims. As you evolve, you will eventually remember the tools to control
your own process and experiences.


"I am not going to question your opinions. I am not going to meddle with
your belief. I am not going to dictate to you, mine. All that I say is,
examine, and inquire. Look into the nature of things. Search out the grounds
of your opinions, the for and the against. Know why you believe, understand
what you believe, and possess a reason for the faith that is in you."
(Francis Wright, "Divisions of Knowledge", 1828)

Ascension Symptoms


Know that although our evolutionary process is rapidly accelerating, along
with the New higher energies, we are all experiencing these changes in our
own way and in our own time, according to who we are. And generally speaking
our ascension process relates to how we each run our own individual energy,
and what our beliefs and experiences are (in other words, how we vibrate)
These things can be changed and will also change automatically as we clear
and embody more light within ourselves. May your evolutionary process be
joyous, peaceful and filled with light and wonder!
1. Feeling as though you are in a pressure cooker or in intense energy
feeling stress. Remember, you are adjusting to a higher vibration and you
will eventually adjust. Old patterns, behaviors and beliefs are also being
pushed to the surface. There is a lot going on inside of you!
2. A feeling of disorientation; not knowing where you are; a loss of a sense
of place. You are not in 3D anymore, as you have moved or in the process of
moving into the higher realms.
3. Unusual aches and pains throughout different parts of your body. You are
purifying and releasing blocked energy vibrating at 3D while you are
vibrating in a higher dimension.
4. Waking at night between 2 and 4 a.m. Much is going on in your dream state
You can't be there for long lengths of time and need a break. Also, more
highly evolved individuals spend more time on the Earth plane, and you are
highly evolving.
5. Periods of deep sleeping. You are resting from all the acclimating and
are integrating, as well as building up for the next phase.

6. Heightened sensitivities to your surroundings. Crowds, noise, foods, TV,
other human voices and various other stimulations are barely tolerable. You
also overwhelm very easily and become easily overstimulated. You are tuning
up!
7. You don't feel like doing anything. You are in a rest period. Your body
knows what it needs.
8. An intolerance for lower vibrational things (of the 3D) reflected in
conversations, attitudes, societal structures, healing modalities, etc. They
literally make you feel “sick” inside. You are in a higher vibration and
your energies are no longer in alignment. You are being "pushed" to move
forward.

9. A loss of desire for food. Your body is adjusting to a new, higher state
of being. Also, part of you does not want to be here anymore.

10. A sudden disappearance of friends, activities, habits, jobs and
residences. You are evolving beyond what you used to be, and these people
and surroundings no longer match your vibration. The New will soon arrive
and feel so-o-o-o much better!
11. You absolutely cannot do certain things anymore. When you try to do your
usual routine and activities, it feels downright awful. Same as above.
12. Days of extreme fatigue. Your body is losing density and going through
intense restructuring.
13. A need to eat often along with what feels like attacks of low blood
sugar. Weight gain. You are requiring an enormous amount of fuel for this
ascension process.
14. Experiencing emotional ups and downs; weeping. Our emotions are our
outlet for release, and we releasing a lot.
15. A wanting to go Home, as if everything is OVER and you don't belong here
anymore. We are returning to Source. Everything IS over. (But many of us are
staying to experience and create the New World). Also, our old contracts
have been completed.
16. Feeling you are going insane, or must be developing a mental illness of
some sort. You are rapidly experiencing several dimensions and greatly
opening. Much is available to you now. You are just not used to it. Your
awareness has been heightened and your barriers are gone.
17. Anxiety and panic. Your ego is losing much of itself and is afraid. Your
system is also on overload. Things are happening to you that you may not
understand. You are also losing behavior patterns of a lower vibration that
you developed for survival in 3D. This may make you feel vulnerable and
powerless. These patterns and behaviors you are losing are not needed in the
higher realms.

18. Depression. The outer world may not be in alignment with the New, higher
vibrational you. It doesn't feel so good out there. You are also releasing.

19. Vivid, wild and sometimes violent dreams. You are releasing many, many
lifetimes of lower vibrational energy. Many are now reporting that they are
experiencing beautiful dreams.
20. Your plans suddenly change in mid-stream and go in a completely
different direction. Your soul is balancing out your energy. It usually
feels GREAT in this new direction, as your soul knows more than you do! It
is breaking your “rut” choices and vibration.

21. You have created a situation that seems like your worst nightmare, with
many “worst nightmare” aspects to it. Your soul is guiding you into
“stretching” into aspects of yourself where you were lacking, or into
“toning down” aspects where you had an overabundance. Your energy is just
balancing itself. Finding your way to peace through this situation is the
test you have set up for yourself. This is YOUR journey, and your soul would
not have set it up if you weren't ready. You are the one who finds your way
out and you will. Looking back, you will have gratitude for the experience
and be a different person.

Venus Transition - Aluna Joy


Subject: Aluna Joy Yaxk'in: The SHIFT is upon us... Get ready for the
down load


"Make a clean break with your past and you will be Enlightened,"
said the Master. "I am doing that by degrees." "Growth is achieved
by degrees. Enlightenment is instantaneous." Later he said, "Take
the leap! You cannot cross a chasm in little jumps."
-- Anthony de Mello, SJ

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CENTER OF THE SUN NEWS - JUNE 2004 ~ requested news
Aluna Joy Yaxk'in, PO Box 1988, Sedona, AZ 86339
Website http://www.1spirit.com/alunajoy
E-MAIL alunajoy@kachina.net
Ph:928-282-MAYA (6292)

Copyright © 2002...
FREE RIGHTS to E-MAIL UNCHANGED ANYWHERE YOU WISH!
This email has been scanned with current Anti-virus program
with the latest anti-virus updates for your protection

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The SHIFT is upon us... Get ready for the down load!

For over 20 years the Star Elders (a.k.a. my buddies) have shared
various visions. These visions were based in the past, present day,
and our future. Over the last few weeks another vision came and
though it didn't seem to have any relation to the others, a series
of visions lit up like a string of lights. I haven't been excited
like this since the summer of 1987! Now I feel it is time to share a
few of these visions, how they add up to what looks like an amazing
future.

In Mexico many years back, I woke up with the story of why the Maya
and other South American civilizations were conquered so easily. I
was told why Columbus, Montago, Pissaro, Cortez and all the other
conquerors were able to take down entire empires with so few men,
horses and weapons. Lets face it, how many men and horses could they
cram on one of those little ships anyway and not to mention that
they were in weakened state of health when they arrived. We know
what the history books say, but this is what the Star Elders share
about this time and what it means to us today.

In time and space there are time openings - sort of time rips, or
time viruses. Sometimes Earth passes through one, or a series of
these openings. When we enter into one of these rare places it is
possible for lower dimensions to enter higher ones without doing the
necessary preparation or spiritual work. When this happens it
imposes a lower nature on to a higher dimension. In a order to
balance the situation the higher worlds usually fall, and the lower
ones gain more power than they know how to handle. This was the case
of the Conquers and the Americas.

This vision was also warning to us at this important time. It was
revealed that we will enter a similar time or space. It is important
that we finish our spiritual work and purge our negative egos so as
not to damage the next dimension with our lower natures. I was shown
that we must enter this next world in a state surrender and allow
the next world to be our teacher. In other words "Park your egos at
the door folks" after all we do not want to become the next Cortez
or Columbus while entering in the next world.

Just a couple of months ago I had a dream that I was out in the
canyons around Sedona. I was up on a cliff meditating and a dark
force came up from the canyon floor and grabbed me by my ankles and
began to pull me off the cliff. I knew I could die if this happened.
So I called out to my buddies, the Star Elders, and they quickly
came and grabbed this dark entity and pushed it back down into the
earth. They also sealed the crack that it rose up from. I remember
that I felt no fear and also the joyfulness in which my buddies came
to the rescue.

A few weeks latter I when out to my favorite canyon. I climb up on
top a bench and laid down with my back on the rocks and my face up
to the sky. I began to meditate and saw a opening in the sky. It was
curious, so I asked the buddies what it was. They said it was the
place where we will ascend through. They were clear that ascending
didn't mean we were going to leave here. the earth. but just go
through a doorway into a higher plane of consciousness. It was clear
this was coming very, very soon.

Then I remembered the dream I had a few weeks earlier. So I asked
again about the crack in the earth that tried to swallow me up. They
proceed to tell me the entire story along with playing back dozens
of visions I had over my life. Everything I was shown over many
years began to add. The light bulb went off in my head.

So here is the scoop. They said "The SHIFT is upon us... Get ready
for the down load!." We have come to the place we have all been
waiting for. We are about to embark on the shift of the ages. What
is happening is ALL the upper and lower dimensions are going to make
a big leap in consciousness together with us right in the middle of
it all. The Maya believe that there are 9 underworlds, and 13
heavens above us, but the Star Elders say there are many more
dimensions than this. What is happening is doorways are beginning to
crack open on all levels and dimensions. The BIG MANEUVER is that
they all these different dimensions have to open and shift at the
same time, this way lower dimensions will not contaminate the higher
ones.

The dream I had about getting swallowed up by the underworlds was
one of these underworld doorways cracking opening a little to soon
and it had begun to alter this reality. I guess it was going to
alter me! Not a pretty thought. The Star Elders say that this is
happening all over the planet right now. Underworlds are cracking
open, and so are upper worlds doorways. They say these cracks can
not be healed, but the openings can be slowed down and synchronized
with all the others until we are all ready for the big leap. This
event can only be held off for a short time more.

They showed me a visual to explain this. They showed me a stack of
pancakes with a cord running down the center through all of the
layers. They showed me that the entire stack of pancakes has to
shift at the same time, space, and speed to make it all work on all
levels and so that no dimension comes down with the so called time
virus.

The Star Elders also asked to share something very important that
you can do to help. First don't jump to soon! Be patient and wait
until we can all go together. Also to all you Earth healers out
there, please watch for those underworld cracks and use your skills
along with your guides, guardians, and angels to help hold off the
openings until everything is synchronized. They said you know who
you are. and you will know what to do.

Some new symptoms we have been seeing during this shift.
Emotionally we are seeing deep grief and loss of interest in
current goals; loss of sense of self; heightened Kunadili energy;
panic attacks; heart palpitations; visions or experiencing
dimensional doorways either by seeing or hearing them and future
door ways. We are having weird dreams and old visions being
rekindled. We have been feeling restless and with a deep need to do
SOMETHING - ANYTHING! Unusual visuals in the inner and outer worlds.
Electrical disturbances with computers and any other electronic
devices. In relationship we are meeting soul mates after long and
fruitless searches, and ending dis-harmonic relationships that were
out of alignment. Many are feeling like they are going to die, or
want to give up. We are seeing a increased number of family and
friends passing away. Could it be we are dying to the old ways the
old world, letting go of our attachments to this world so we can
move on to the next?

So what is causing all this shifting?
The Star Elders say it is the current Venus Passover we have just
entered. A Venus Passover is when Venus retrogrades and passes in
front of the Sun. Venus retrogrades every 260 days but it only
passes over the sun every 122 years. The exact Passover is on June
8th, beginning 5 am GMT, UK time zone (Pacific Standard time it is
from 9 PM on 6/7/04 to 4 am 6/8/04). It will take about 7 hours
for Venus to pass in front of the Sun. The last time this happened
was in 1882. No one alive today has felt this energy before.

The ancient Mayas call the Venus-Sun Passover the return of
Quetzacoatal but is also symbol of death and a rebirth of a higher
consciousness. The Venus Passover repeats again on June 6th 2012,
the very near of the end of the Mayan Long count calendar (ending on
12/21/2012) and the ending of a huge 26000-year cycle. In
Christianity the Venus-Sun Passover symbolizes the return of the
Christ Consciousness. Christ and Quetzacoatal are both messengers of
love and wisdom, light and knowledge.

Venus is like a Holy Grail in the stars holding the power of the
feminine, the power of love, and the power of abundance. Our Sun is
power house of lighted divine wisdom. When the two planets cross
paths it will give us the ability to take all relationships,
intimate and otherwise to the next higher level.

Where on Earth can you view the Passover.
Observers in the UK are hoping to watch the Passover on June 8 just
after sunrise. Venus will appear as a small black disc as it moves
across the bottom of the Sun between 6am and 12.30pm. British
stargazers are praying for good weather so they can witness this
event. The planet last made a Passover in December 1882 but it could
not be seen properly observed from the UK due to clouds.

How to the Star Elders think it will effect us?
With this connection between love and wisdom we will gain insight
through love (not force) to evolve our present evolutionary crisis.
The Venus-Sun Passover will trigger a huge soul desire to obtain
deeper knowledge to find better answers to problems and build common
ground between different cultures. The Star Elders say this wisdom
will be released during the retrograde from May 18 through June
29th but especially on June 7-8th.

We will experience a concrete knowing of true authentic love and
wisdom with a huge breakthrough of intuitive awareness and psychic
abilities. With our participation this can be the beginning of true
global community ending our limited perceptions. It could be the end
of separation due to class, race and religion.

We will find that any thing in our lives that is out of harmony may
dissolve way and long awaited opportunities will appear just as if
we dreamed them into reality. Present relationships will be under
the magnifying glass. The Passover will cause us to consider the
reality of higher energies and realize deep spiritual connections.

With Venus (love and abundance) in the Sun's path (wisdom and light)
we can expect opportunity for new divine love, an opportunity to
have more abundance, and most of all to gain deep wisdom. We might
be inspired to act on visions we previously had hesitations about.
We can expect more balance and harmony in our lives while re-
committing to higher truths. In past history Venus Passovers have
preceded huge breakthroughs in human consciousness.

Also the Star Elders say watch out and avoid negative predictions,
as there will be many. Involvement in any type of fear based
information will block you from receiving your own inner truth.
Remember fear blocks spirit! It is simple as that. Fear can only
detour you and this event further out into time.

The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice
and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the
master calls a butterfly. ~~ Richard Bach


How can we get the most out it this event....
Here are some suggestions to take full advantage of the Venus-Sun
Passover. 1 day before June 7-8th dig deep and dump the junk, the
ego, the programs and assumptions that hold you back from expressing
your true authentic self. Ask to purge any dis-harmonic energy,
relationship or event in your lives. Be sure to clear out any
emotional entanglements. Get yourself completely clear.

The Star Elders also say to watch out for a desire to back up, or to
return to some thing, some one, or some situation that is familiar.
For example we might want to retreat back into a old relationship
for comfort and safety. If we go backwards will be a painful
experience and will not work out. There is no going back. There is
no comfort zone right now. You are entering into new territory. It
is a exhilarating adventure that will get your heart pumping so
don't assume this is fear. Your just excited!

To keep our faces toward change, and behave like free spirits in the
presence of fate, is strength undefeatable ~ Helen Keller

During the exact 7 hour period of the Passover, intend to radically
alter your life by calling in a higher order of harmony, peace and
love. Remember that loving yourself is also loving all life, so
don't forget to put yourself on this list. Remember we are all
intimately connected. It is time to love without fear and to know
without hesitation. Intend to bond with your love interest on a
deeper and higher level. You can also apply this to other
significant relationships. Allow your heart to bond with your
community, country and planet. It will be up to us if we take Venus
and Sun's gift that it is offering.

What the Star Elders say is the out come of this event....
The effects of the Venus Passover will be subtle at first but will
begin a powerful inner and outer transformation that will grow and a
multiplying rate of speed. At first the effects may not be dramatic
but they will go deep and be enduring and will change the core of
our reality as we know it. This Venus Passover is without a doubt, a
shift from a world based in force, to a world based in Love, and
they are saying that this alone is worth the price of admission we
paid to experience this event!

This event is the first stage of cracking open a huge door we have
been waiting to open. At the moment the Star Elders say that it
looks like it will take a few more years for us to get it all
together and complete the passage through this door. They say we
will be through the door a long time before the Maya end date of
December 2012. Their guess based on our current state of
consciousness is we will jump through to the higher dimension
sometime in 2008 - ONLY 4 YEARS! They say there is a lot for us to
do in that time frame but we have done so much already.

Once through to the other side, the Star Elders say humanity will
have achieved it's goal. We will have raised up and opened our
consciousness by our own inner power and intense desire for new
answers to old issues. We will have downloaded new cutting edge
knowledge that will change the face of how we approach our lives. We
will gain the capacity to embody the principle of universal
compassion, universal love and universal knowledge. We will
understand new possibilities and expose new secrets of life. We will
have the means to prevent our own extinction by human error. We
will be able to release the grip of darkness that threatens our
survival and be able call the higher dimensions at will. Telepathy
will replace inter-net creating a new field of communication. The
development of the 6th sense and mass enlightenment will be
considered normal! Now that sound like a great future to me! The
Star Elders last word on the subject.. Don't worry, be happy. They
are not joking! (well maybe they are)

As long as a man stands in his own way, everything seems to be in
his way. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I found this song rather interesting. I've been here a few times. Heck I even still have these moments and sure I will continue to. I guess it's part of life, part of growing. Fears and all that. :-)


"Running Blind"
Godsmack

Can’t find the answers
I’ve been crawling on my knees
Looking for anything
To keep me from drowning
Promises have been turned to lies
Can’t even be honest inside
Now I’m running backward
Watching my life wave me goodbye

Running blind
I’m running blind
Somebody help me see I’m running blind

Searching for nothing
Wondering if I’ll change
I’m trying everything
But everything still stays the same
I thought if I showed you I could fly
Wouldn’t need anyone by my side
Now I’m running backward
With broken wings I know I’ll die

Running blind
I’m running blind
Somebody help me see I’m running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind

I can’t find the answers
I’ve been crawling on my knees
Looking for anything
To keep me from drowning
I’m running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind
Running blind

Today has been a good day so far. I'm fine feeling better... Decided that it's not that I didn't have anymore fight in me it's that it was that I just understood it on a level where I just didn't need to fight it. I don't need to fight is part of it I think.

Sherrie posted something to her list and I may try to put it here on my blog. It would be worth people reading. I got chills reading parts of it. The part about leaving the ego at the door went along with the above paragraph.

A lot of the problems we find is because of ego. Sit down sometime and really dig through something that really bothers you. You'll see.

Today I just have no more fight left in me. I feel rather defeated. I'm not sure what the purpose of dealing with this is... I understand clearing out of things but why does there have to be pain. So much pain.

What's today??? Tuesday? and I have already lived another life time.

Today wasn't too bad. I think I'm ready to cut the cord though. I'm tired of feeling what he is doing. I'm tired of knowing he is lying to me because I can feel it.

I've been outside taken pictures of stuff today. Feed the koi and found that there were about 50 dragon flies around the pond. :-) I love them. I took a picture of one the other day and when I walked away it followed me. There was a frog croakin this morning which is a bit unusual.

The hawk was out hunting. It's a beautiful day all in all.

Tom will be out of the house for 3 weeks. Which will make me happy. I just don't want him around anymore. That's not completely true... I just want to be ok with all of this.

Here is a bit of my reading my sister did... I have to say of the reading this is the most disturbing part for me. It's really the last thing I need now.

"A warning comes to you from a young man. It is about love matters. You may put things on hold as family comes into play.

Money matters still revolve all around you and you become more passive and wait to see what will happen. You will not be happy because a man and a man younger than the first will do something to make you feel very hurt. You will feel they have stabbed you in the back. This episode makes you feel left out, cold and judgmental. (The card "judgment" really stands out along side the "tower"). This is something you never dreamed would happen to you. You put a lot of trust into this whole issue and you will be totally shocked and dismayed at what happens.

You will have to seek our a higher power (of the human sort) to help you it will be the only way you will be successful or win a victory if any at all."

I'm waiting for her to re-do the reading as she was interrupted by that could take her a while.

White Bird
by It's Baeutiful Day

White bird,
in a golden cage,
on a winter's day,
in the rain.

White bird,
in a golden cage,
alone.

The leaves blow,
Across the long black road.
To the darkened skies,
in its rage

But the white bird just sits in her cage,
alone.

White bird must fly
Or she will die

White bird,
dreams of the aspen trees,
with their dying leaves,
turning gold.

But the white bird just sits in her cage,
growing old.

White bird must fly or she will die.
White bird must fly or she will die.

The sunsets come, the sunsets go.
The clouds pile high,the air moves slow.
And the young bird's eyes do always know.

She must fly,
She must fly,
She must fly.

White bird,
In a golden cage,
On a winter's day, in the rain.

White bird,
In a golden cage alone.

White bird must fly or she will die.
White bird must fly or she will die.
White bird must fly or she will die.

You are a Siren. More adventurous than all with a
voice like no other you sit on warm rocks and
sing to the moon and sea. Yet sometimes
shipwrecks find you and raving men want you.
You are a bottle of talent and power. What the
unknown is you seek to find, and a lover. You
have the moon and stars as freinds. There are a
very few of you, what a rare find. Will you
rate my quiz, I think your voice in just
beautiful?


What kind of mermaid are you? (Gorgeous Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

You're Elemant is Wind. You're light-hearted,
care-free, kind, sensative, and mysterious. You
have friends and most absolutely love you. You
can be calm and soothing one minute and ragging
in anger the next so no one wants to get on
your bad side. You're beauty is inspiring and
magical.


What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla

Hecate


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla



But again there were some multiple answers, so here is the second one.



Nemesis


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Time Bomb

I'm just fucking annoyed today and looking for a fight. Tom sent me pictures of Dallas and now there is a possibility of another we will call Montana. I liked Montana... Dallas my hackles go up. Money grubbing bitch is what I get from her. I found out that when she was younger she lived with an older man... Guess what for... yep money... Now Tom says but I'm not that much older than her... So what, a sugar daddy can be younger as long as he has the bucks for it.

He asked me if I had seen a picture of Dallas and I lied and said no. So he said well go blah blah blah (in his computer). I did last night... Can I say that set me off. 3 dozen roses, rose petals on the floor, gifts, yes I said plural gifts. Then being the noisy pissed off bitch I was at that moment I did a search on his computer. I found a little thing he had written about meeting Dallas for the first time. He had the balls to say he asked for a divorce 6 months before he met her. Lying bastard... It was a month and a half. Then he went on and on about how wonderful she is... Ok I understand that the first blush of any relationship is like that. Then he stepped over the line as far as I was concerned. He said something along the lines of wanting to grow old with her watching their perspective families grow up. You want to start a fight with me even think about letting that bitch around Michael... I'm telling you it was a good thing Edward was emailing with me last night because I was starting to talk to Kali about destroying both of them. I'm not talking about a little pain... I'm talking total and completely destroying them.. As letting Kali eat their souls so they no longer exist. I'm getting pissed just thinking about it.

I guess what bothers me the most is all these years he has said he wasn't a romantic. Not only that I was not allowed PDA (public display of affection). Now he is acting like he has always been this way. Well the mother fucker will suffer and I'll happily be slapped by whatever powers that be. You know I'm visualizing a little of the Silence of the Lambs movie.....

This is something I'll have to work out in my head. I can tell you Tom isn't going to play the good happy daddy either. I could tell things that would make you want to slap his balls with a 2 x 4.... Actually sound like a good idea...

I shouldn't let this all bother me but you know what? When you find that someone has lied to you for 23 years according to how they act now... well as a Cancer I have to say it's unforgivable... Motorcycle crash is another thought I'm having... I need to make sure Tom has his will done first...

Sometimes I'm just computer illiterate... Today is one of those days. I was trying to install a DVD burner which in itself was easy but now I can't make it work. It seems to keep telling me the disc are wrong. It's something I was doing for Tom so he can figure it out.

BUT as I sat there letting the software load I looked out the office window and there was a pretty sight. The sun was hitting the tops of the trees. They had sort of a reddish glow... Everything looked so clear and crisp... So I sat and looked at that for a bit. It was pretty nice and helped me relax a bit.

I went out and pulled more weeds today. It was a bit therapeutic... Since I used that as ripping out some of my frustrating about not having control over the situation. I guess I shouldn't really let it get to me but I really hate giving up that much control. Some people like to turn over their lives to the control of the *God/dess*... I really like having a hand in it. I know there are some things beyond my control but it doesn't make me feel any better about it.

I just think that not having any say in the matter just feels wrong. Maybe we are given so many choices. Let's say we are given 6 (arbitrary number) paths to chose from. So we do have some say in our lives. It's up to us to chose what is going to be best. Maybe we don't always do that and maybe that's the point. It could be that we are learning lessons with each path we can chose. What am I learning from this divorce... hmmm... well... I'm not sure. I think that maybe it's nothing more than we've out grown each other. Or hopefully it is me who has out grown him. LOL That would make me feel a bit better. *grins*

Tom and I talk about conversations we have with the boys. He keeps mentioning that when he talks to Matt that he tells him that we just wanted different things. I have to think on that because the only difference I was aware of was spiritual and he isn't even spiritual! Then he continues and tells Matt that he couldn't change me. This is a recurring thing that he says. Also that he doesn't agree with my path. I'm not sure how he can't considering he knows nothing of it. He never asked questions, he never showed any interest in what it was about. So I'm not sure how he can say he doesn't agree when he doesn't know. I think the point is it scared him and that's as far as he could get.

Centaur:
Centaurs are calm down to earth beings who love the
planet. You like to help people and volunteer
to do many things other wont. You dont care
about credit, however, and feel a good deed is
its own reward.


What Mythological Creature Are You (Many Results and Beautiful Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

You are an ERASER! You spend your time helping
people smooth over their mistakes. It's a
messy job, but you have the helpful attitude to
get it done. Your coworkers appreciate that
you are so friendly and non-judgmental, but
make sure they aren't taking advantage of your
expertise. If you don't make people clean up
their own mess from time to time you'll always
be covered in dirt that isn't yours (and that's
not fair to you because your kindness is so
valuable).


What Piece of Office Supplies Are You? (many, many clever results with pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla


I loved this because I thought of the movie Eraser... LOL It's a Gov. Arnold movie. LOL

You are a forest shadow. Your essence is that of
the tree or beast that casts you upon the
earth. You feel a purpose to be in balance
with the cycles of life and are wise and
beautiful in your submission to the justice of
Mother Nature. You are peaceful in temperament
and, though you feel small, your spirit is
precious, strong, and mighty as the
(green)forces with which it is affiliated.
(please rate my quiz cuz it took me for
freaking ever to create)


What Kind of Shadow Are You? (with gorgeous pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

You're a Narrative writer!


What kind of writer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

It's weird but I've been sitting here and a wave of sadness just washed over me. It was like it washed through my very soul...

I'm not sure what that was about.

Today Tom asked me if I wanted him to go to court for the divorce. I'm rather torn about it actually. While I would like to have the support, he did want out... I don't want to make him feel like I don't appreciate him offering either. I do appreciate it. Yet I want him to know he has hurt my feelings in all this. I mean it's over.

Damn I don't know what to think anymore. I'm torn... I know that normally I would say yes but I feel like for some reason I need to say no. I just don't know what to do.

I feel pretty good this morning. Happy, relaxed... I will say that it worries me when I do feel this way cause things seem to go bad then... "Something's gotta go wrong cause I'm feeling way too damn good"...

Weather wise the weather kind of sucks but we need the rain so I won't complain.

I can't remember if I mentioned it or not. Monday as I was leaving to go to my Border's Pagan meeting I noticed that a tree had fallen onto the tongue of Tom's motorcycle trailer. So I got out and checked it out. The tree had fallen and hit the trailer and dented it and then fell

Tom got back from his deposition and I had been scanning pictures all day. He said that's all you've gotten done?? He has no clue what has to be done but he assumes that it should be quicker. So he says are you at a stopping place? I said 4 more pictures. So he says ok... He wanted to go to Best Buys and pick up a couple of new movies. So we leave. He has the most annoying habit of starting a sentence then stopping in the middle and doing something else. It just pisses me off. So you sit there waiting for him to finish a stupid sentence. Well, I've gotten to the point of saying "and!". Today he told me not to do the and anymore... Just wait... After the 19th he can go shopping by himself to unwind... AND I will say and all I won't or I'll ignore the hell out of him when he stops in the middle of a sentence... It's just freaking rude to stop like that and expect everyone to wait while you change the radio station or something.

I'm just annoyed with him. He still thinks he can tell me what to do. How stupid! Oh he and I went shopping and I was looking at books. I found some good stuff... I was messing with Tom by handing him books and things like... Oh the little voodoo kit... a book of spells... He said you can't do any magic until after Monday. I thought Monday? This was on Saturday so I said sure and laughed. He said no I mean until after the divorce... I said no deal...Well I found out that the dumbass has been thinking our divorce was on Monday the 17th. *sighs* Tells me how much he pays attention. Oh yeah one of the reasons he was a little freaked out was because he said something about me putting a curse on him. I said I haven't done that but when I do you'll know it. LOL So now I'm sure he is thinking I'm going to curse him. Of course if his dick feel off I wouldn't feel totally bad about it. He is just really annoying me.

"There's no time to lose"
I heard her say
Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time
Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind
Ain't life unkind?
Goodbye Ruby Tuesday, who could hang a name on you?
When you change...


I guess there is some truth to that... You do need to try and catch your dreams. Yes you are dying all the time... People lose their dreams all the time. Not sure I'd say they lost their minds though. lol Truthfully no life isn't unkind. It's what you make of it. Yeah there are some hard times and sometimes it seems like that's all you are facing. If you think about it is like a soar finger. The more you think about how that finger hurts the more the darn thing does hurt. Now I'm not saying here that the pain isn't real, just that when you focus on the fact that it hurts it is worse.

Since I'm thinking on it I have to say that so many people are going through some real shit right now. It seems to point towards all the ascension stuff that we've seen posted around the net. You really need to read some of that stuff. FOr that fact I posted some last week I believe. It is speaking about us clearing out the old useless stuff so that we can move up. Make sense even if it is painful.

I don't know... sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees... right now I'm surrounded. It's still beautiful I just can't see far enough ahead to make me feel that things will be ok... I'm just stuck in this time and place so to speak. See I'm sitting here thinking on love. Right now it sucks but I know it doesn't always. Though if asked I would be rather jaded right now. See I want assurances no one can give me. That it will never hurt again. It will... Do I want to go through it *again*? No not really... Will I? Unfortunately I'd have to say yes. Love is one of the few things that I do take seriously. It's not something to be toyed with or used against someone. I remember way back before I ever got married dating a few guys that after a couple of dates would say I love you. I remember the first time one of them said it to me. I stood there and said nothing. I didn't love him and wasn't about to say I did. For me it was a committment. He looked rather surprised. I don't know... maybe all the others he had gone out with responded in kind. Usually after that I woudln't go out anymore with them. The sneakiest one was the one who used my curiousity against me. LOL He started to ask me something then stopped. Well I couldn't stand it I had to know what he had been going to ask. He looked so serious. so he stood up and kissed me. Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather. He was the last guy I would have suspected of feeling anything for me. He was really my first love. Then he not only crushed my heart but ripped it out and stomped it into the ground. Cancerian Bastard that he was. LOL Thanks to another Cancerian male for helping me with releasing the pain and remembering the good times. After he stomped my heart I decided to not let it happen again. So I guarded my heart and held it tightly inside my shell. Life was much more simply then. I kind of let Tom in and well you see where that got me.

So yeah love sucks right now.

It's Mother's Day!

As usual Tom did well on presents. He always does. He picked up a watch for Michael to give me and he went and bought me a sewing machine. Matt was so sweet, he bought me two statues of Horses being ridden by NA's, an Elk carved on a wooden plank and a faux stained glass window panel. :-) I have good boys all in all. I went out and cleaned the filters in the pond and fed and played with my fish. I had several of the babies letting me handle them so that's good.

Let's see.... today... the divorce will be final in 10 days. I'll be a free woman... who is lost. LOL

I'm excited about going to see the Witchgrovers across the pond. :-) I've told Michael and Matt both that I'll be going. Michael just wanted to know when I was leaving and when I would return. He seemed ok with it.

I went out and fed my fish this morning and cleaned around the pond a bit. That always makes me feel a bit better.

I've reached the numb state, resigned in what life is only at this second in time. I look outside and smile at the beauty I see while inside of me I feel nothing. Just emptiness.

It will get better.

Last night when I went to bed a lay there thinking on past events. I built a cocoon around myself for protection from some of the pain at least. You know it doesn't even have to do with being alone. That part I think I can enough for a while. Who knows I may like it enough to stay that way. If that is what happens then so be it.

Yes that is the way things are.

I took it one more time because there were double answers that I could make. So this is the second one.



Hematite


What Stone Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Rose Quartz


What Stone Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Going into shock
The last thing that he said was
Set this fucker off


Those that know Audioslave are know this one. Those who know me well are thinking great she is back to set this fucker off. LOL

Well, yes I am back to that point. I'm starting to get that I need to be a hermit for a while. Hmm I think my list of to stay away froms are Men and chocolate..... Oh wait... I take the chocolate back... Need chocolate...

I'm just having one of those times when I wonder why on earth I ever, ever decided to fall in love. I mean when I was young, it only took one time before I learned it was painful. So after that point guys were well, more of play things. Heck most of them weren't serious so why should I be? Why open yourself up for pain? I think I'll have a growing list of sun signs not to date or get serious with... So far it's Scorpio and Cancer.

Hold the phone... I just got the Entertainment Weekly magazine and well the movie Troy is the headline... Brad Pitt looks mighty fine in his little get up... Well, I can look... doesn't mean I want to keep it or anything.

Anyway... Water signs... Hmm... I think the worst heart break was because of a Cancer. I'm not going to do that anymore. Think I'll have titanium added to my shell. Cause I'm going to go into emergency lock down inside my shell.

I've just seen my first hummingbird of the season. Had to get the binoculars... little buggers are small.. that or I need to have my eyes fixed. LOL Yes, I'm easily distracted.


Getaway Car
by Audioslave

The first time I saw you, you were
Chasing down
A cyclone
All alone in the field
With rail yards and clovers
I kept rolling on
Never thought you'd wind up chasing me

(chorus)
Well settle down I won't hesitate
To hit the highway
Before you lay me to waste, no
Settle up and I'll help you find
Something to drive
Before you drive me insane

Your tired of walking
And you loathe the ground
The sideway will barely
Touch your feet and life moves
Too slowly to hold you down
With ringing hands
You take it out on me

(chorus)
Well settle down
I won't hesitate to hit the highway
Before you leave me to waste, no
Settle up and I'll help you find something to drive
Before you drive me insane

What You Are
by Audioslave


And when you wanted me
I came to you
And when you wanted someone else
I withdrew
And when you asked for light
I set myself on fire
And if I go far away I know
You'll find another slave

(chorus)
Cause now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are

And when you wanted blood
I cut my veins
And when you wanted love
I bled myself again
Now that I've had my fill of you
I'll give you up forever
And here I go far away
I know you you'll find another slave

(chorus)
Cause now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are

Then a vision came to me
When you came along
I gave you everything
But then you wanted more

Here is another one worth reading and thinking about.

Tools For Comfort

1. Rest. Rest. Rest. Your body is going through an incredible transformation and is on over-load. For those highly sensitives with fragile nervous systems, rest can make all the difference. I have found that severely limiting my activities and attending to extreme self-care has made a considerable difference. It also has a natural by-product of putting you in the higher realms.

2. Be in your creativity as much as possible. The higher energies crave creativity, and you will naturally and automatically be elevated into the higher realms, as well as opening a channel for that energy to flow more easily.

3. Try not to resist the process. I have found that fear and resistance to the ascension process only creates an unpleasant experience. Everything is in divine right order. We all have our own special non-physical beings monitoring our process (I have seen them!), and we will not be allowed to go "too far" into a danger zone. We are never given more than we can handle, even though sometimes it seems otherwise!

4. Monitor your thoughts. This is key. Higher and positive thoughts will immediately place you in the higher realms, as well as assist greatly in what you are creating. Find a "feel good" vision for yourself and
use it often. I frequently envision my perfect life in all ways. Know it will arrive. You have the vision because you are supposed to be living it!

5. Let your soul guide you. We tend to want to be in control of what is going on and may "over do" grasping for some kind of relief. If you let go and ask, your soul will bring to you the messages you need (whether through another person, a book, an e-mail, etc.), and is a great navigator for a smoother and more pleasant transition. I have found that "less is more". The process itself has its own way of getting you where you need to go, and you can easily over stimulate yourself by trying to take charge.

6. If you are guided to supplemental support, take it. Adrenal support and amino acids have assisted me greatly. Our bodies are working overtime. Relaxing herbs are good as well.

7. Although doctors may be baffled by your symptoms, as you don't fit into their "niches", they still may be of help. Our bodies have been thrown out of balance and you may have a chemical imbalance, a hormonal imbalance, a thyroid imbalance, or anything else that can benefit from a doctor's diagnosis. Generally speaking, they aren't much help, but don't rule them out completely.

8. Spend as much time in nature as you can.

9. If you're experiencing hypersensitivity, alter your lifestyle in regard to crowds, excitement, and stress. I completely stay out of them.

10. Find your passion. Many times an uncomfortable situation will unfold your passion and mission. That is part of the plan!

11. Spend time around our new little beings. I play with the children at my granddaughter's daycare. Many of the new little ones are highly evolved and will make you feel more "at home".

12. Take Epsom salt baths.

13. Visit with friends and simply listen to their day. Remember, you are "emptying out" much of your identity, and this may be all you can contribute at times. It greatly helps to stay connected to others, even if you think you don't want to be around people. It will also get your mind off your own process.

14. Find endless ways to make yourself "feel good". Read a good book, walk in the forest, take a bath, get a massage, buy a new car, get a new wardrobe take an art class you've always wanted to take, get your hair done, redecorate! Feeling good is vital, and the universe will in turn support you as you support yourself. This is our natural state of being and also places us in the higher realms!

15. Try not to focus a lot on the strange symptoms you are experiencing, as this will only serve to magnify them, and make THEM your reality! The process will unfold on its own, so it's better to focus and become involved in things you greatly enjoy or suggestions from this list.

16. Just love everybody.....especially yourself.

17. Make a personal declaration about how you would like your own ascension process to unfold. You are the master here, and we need not feel like victims. As you evolve, you will eventually remember the tools to control your own process and experiences.

I had to post this here. I hope it helps explain some things that have been happening to us all.

Ascension Symptoms
Know that although our evolutionary process is rapidly accelerating, along with the New higher energies, we are all experiencing these changes in our own way and in our own time, according to who we are. And generally speaking our ascension process relates to how we each run our own individual energy, and what our beliefs and experiences are (in other words, how we vibrate) These things can be changed and will also change automatically as we clear and embody more light within ourselves. May your evolutionary
process be joyous, peaceful and filled with light and wonder!

1. Feeling as though you are in a pressure cooker or in intense energy feeling stress. Remember, you are adjusting to a higher vibration and you will eventually adjust. Old patterns, behaviors and beliefs are also being pushed to the surface. There is a lot going on inside of you!

2. A feeling of disorientation; not knowing where you are; a loss of a sense of place. You are not in 3D anymore, as you have moved or in the process of moving into the higher realms.

3. Unusual aches and pains throughout different parts of your body. You are purifying and releasing blocked energy vibrating at 3D while you are vibrating in a higher dimension.

4. Waking at night between 2 and 4 a.m. Much is going on in your dream state. You can't be there for long lengths of time and need a break. Also, more highly evolved individuals spend more time on the Earth plane, and you are highly evolving.

5. Periods of deep sleeping. You are resting from all the acclimating and are integrating, as well as building up for the next phase.

6. Heightened sensitivities to your surroundings. Crowds, noise, foods, TV, other human voices and various other stimulations are barely tolerable. You also overwhelm very easily and become easily overstimulated. You are tuning up!

7. You don't feel like doing anything. You are in a rest period. Your body knows what it needs.

8. An intolerance for lower vibrational things (of the 3D) reflected in conversations, attitudes, societal structures, healing modalities, etc. They literally make you feel "sick" inside. You are in a higher vibration
and your energies are no longer in alignment. You are being "pushed" to move forward.

9. A loss of desire for food. Your body is adjusting to a new, higher state of being. Also, part of you does not want to be here anymore.

10. A sudden disappearance of friends, activities, habits, jobs and residences. You are evolving beyond what you used to be, and these people and surroundings no longer match your vibration. The New will soon arrive and feel so-o-o-o much better!

11. You absolutely cannot do certain things anymore. When you try to do your usual routine and activities, it feels downright awful. Same as above.

12. Days of extreme fatigue. Your body is losing density and going through intense restructuring.

13. A need to eat often along with what feels like attacks of low blood sugar. Weight gain. You are requiring an enormous amount of fuel for this ascension process.

14. Experiencing emotional ups and downs; weeping. Our emotions are our outlet for release, and we releasing a lot.

15. A wanting to go Home, as if everything is OVER and you don't belong here anymore. We are returning to Source. Everything IS over. (But many of us are staying to experience and create the New World). Also, our old contracts have been completed.

16. Feeling you are going insane, or must be developing a mental illness of some sort. You are rapidly experiencing several dimensions and greatly opening. Much is available to you now. You are just not used to it. Your awareness has been heightened and your barriers are gone.

17. Anxiety and panic. Your ego is losing much of itself and is afraid. Your system is also on overload. Things are happening to you that you may not understand. You are also losing behavior patterns of a lower vibration that you developed for survival in 3D. This may make you feel vulnerable and powerless. These patterns and behaviors you are losing are not needed in the higher realms.

18. Depression. The outer world may not be in alignment with the New, higher vibrational you. It doesn't feel so good out there. You are also releasing.

19. Vivid, wild and sometimes violent dreams. You are releasing many, many lifetimes of lower vibrational energy. Many are now reporting that they are experiencing beautiful dreams.

20. Your plans suddenly change in mid-stream and go in a completely different direction. Your soul is balancing out your energy. It usually feels GREAT in this new direction, as your soul knows more than you do! It is breaking your "rut" choices and vibration.

21. You have created a situation that seems like your worst nightmare, with many "worst nightmare" aspects to it. Your soul is guiding you into "stretching" into aspects of yourself where you were lacking, or into "toning down" aspects where you had an overabundance. Your energy is just balancing itself. Finding your way to peace through this situation is the test you have set up for yourself. This is YOUR journey, and your soul would not have set it up if you weren't ready. You are the one who finds your way
out and you will. Looking back, you will have gratitude for the experience and be a different person.

Last night felt like a bad dream. You know how when you are just coming out of a bad dream you still have all the emotions you did during the dream? That's the way I woke this morning. I was thinking was it really a bad dream or truth? All along I knew it was truth, just hoping it had been a bad dream. This has been a killer week for me. Too many emotions and I don't want o deal with them. I need to shut them off so I don't have to. There is just a part of a lyric that keeps playing in my head. "Like a dog on the street whose been beat too much". That's what I'm feeling right now. Funny I don't want to blame anyone for it though... It's just the way I feel. I'm tired of crying, I tired of trying to be happy. I guess I've got stuff to release yet.

These arms are strong enough to lift you up when you're feeling down
These arms are gentle enough to hold you safe in a storm
These arms are can keep out the demons that follow your steps
These arms are there to let you feel the wonders of the world

These hands guide you through the darkness of the night
These hands are there to help you to find the light in the world
These hands have the strength to tear down the walls around your heart
These hands have the knowledge to plant the seeds of hope

This heart has been burned to ashes
This heart has been tortured by deceit
This heart has been broken by careless whims
This heart has been reborn from all the past tragedies by the caring of one

This soul has known the pain of betrayal
This soul has wandered aimlessly
This soul rejoices in the beauty of the one that it has found
This soul now flies with the grace of an owl soaring majestically in the heavens.

I've gone through the first two, now I'm on the third and part of the fourth. The last two lines, I think I'll settle for the last line.