Angels

This is something that was post by my friend Myriam when I asked about angels.

Angels: What are they? Can they help us?
Angels are defined in different ways. The word angel actually means messenger. So an angel is a messenger from a spiritual source. Some may visualize them as having wings, some will visualize them as an energy source, and others will have other perceptions. However, angels are spirit guides. Everyone has spirit guides who work with them. They are called by many names: guardian angels, spirit guides, intuition, and inner voices. Those who serve as spirit guides wish to work with spirit to learn in that manner. There must be a willingness to commit to this role, a desire to serve, learn and grow through helping those who are challenged by life issues. In other words our angels choose to help us.

Many times we see movies that talk about an angel earning his or her wings, well spirit guides who appear as angels to us are helping the guide to evolve into one with spirit - earn their wings so to speak - and only have positive intent.

When learning to work with your angels, there would be a period of allowing all to "feel" one another, exchange energies, and knowledge of what is desired to be
accomplished or worked with by each. This would involve the being preparing for a physical experience, the higher self of the individual, and those spirits who would possibly become spiritual guides for the being. This selection process is done through mutual choice.

All must be equally willing, desiring similar growth, and focused upon like results. During the process of sharing, exchanging, and knowing one another, there would be a number who would feel that this would not be what they need at that point in their development. Therefore, mutual selections would be made.

Often free will choices are made which do not follow higher self advice. This may result in a lifetime which due to lack of planning, may lead to many situations which are not desired, and does not meet needs of the being. It is then that our angels appear to help us become less toxic and to live life with greater joy.

Spirit Guides as Angels
Those who are chosen as guides are bound through agreement to remain with you through the entire lifetime. They work in a specific area of the astral realm which was created to aid in communication with the physical being, higher self, and
other guides. There is an energy connection between each guide and the physical being. This is always present between them. It is only necessary to open to the connecting energy line to allow communication. It is never truly closed, but
focus is lessened, to allow for an element of privacy. Through this connection, communication can be established by either the physical being or the guide.

It is important to develop and continually communicate with guides or your angels on a daily basis. Know that this ability will grow and develop in many ways as your levels of confidence and trust in your ability to communicate grows. It is good to realize that each of you have planned the type of guidance you wish to be given in this lifetime, based upon what you desire to learn, focus on and what you felt
was most needed to develop. Some of you have arranged for guides to be very vocal, very strong in communication and impact. Others have planned to focus upon a more visual type of communication and guidance to assure the focus on visual perception and development. Others may ask guides to be an inner quiet thought, a physical sensation or an outer "sign" of confirmation.

Classic Angels
There is a classification and recognition of angels who are direct messengers of God according to some religions. They are known by a higher arch and can be called upon for specific interventions or help. Some of these are known by such names as Michael, Raphael, and so forth. The angels are called upon with specific intent for a special area of intervention and help. These angels can be thought of as icons of specific spiritual energy such as blessings, protection, or assistance.

Earth Angels
Not all messengers or helpers exist on a different dimension. Some people who come into your life to help you in a time of crisis or need for learning can also act as
your angel or spirit guide. Recognize spirit when it comes to you whether from a higher dimension or within the reality in which you live right now.

Remember, all you have to do is ask and an angel or spirit guide will be there to help you in a time of need or growth. When you do ask, don't look for reasons to not believe. Miracles and divine intercession are here to help you anytime and for any reason that your intention is based on the higher good of self and all.

Angels

Wednesday's dreams

I was at a gathering. This gathering was an adults gathering. It was a gathering of the New Temple of Astarte, a sacred sexuality group. I remember at this gathering the women were the ones who were the major people. Then men were secondary. I wandered around talking to people. I noticed a few of the men and then realized that I knew them. Of course they were folks I have seen and met before which are not pagan. lol So I walked around speaking with people. There were workshops and such going on. Then the clouds started rolling in. There was a bad storm coming. The clouds started getting darker and darker. I saw one that was developing into a tornado. I looked around and there were several others that looked like they could too. I started telling everyone we had to get underground. We went in this building and the scene shifted to where it was a cook ot for the Mason's. There were families around. So I started into this building and was telling people to go downstairs to the basement, that it would be safe. I was encouraging others to help people find their way in. Down in the basement I noticed that there were windows. I said maybe further in there will be no windows. Then the building opened up and we were back outside where the grills were. So I told people to inside and stay away from the windows. I went back outside and looked up to the sky.. There was a triple cloud that was developing into e tornados. The one that had started to develop when I got people going inside had changed it's mind.

Then I woke.

Totem or Power Animal

I was just sitting here reading my emails this morning when it hit me... I think I was given a totem or maybe a power animal last night.

In my dream I was handed a few rocks. They were nice flat small rocks. As I began to look at them I noticed that one had something on it. I focused more on the rock and the image of a frog formed on the rock. It never took a form like a painted picture but more like a pictograph. I remember smiling and closing my hand around the gift.

Monday

Wow my dreams have been so very active lately.

Last night I either became aware of the dream or dropped in the middle of something. All of a sudden I'm with 4 other guys and we are moving quickly through the woods. There isn't fear, but we are trying to get away. I remember shooting into the woods with my weapon and I could hear the people chasing us. My fire was simple a cover fire. I didn't have my weapon on automatic as I was conserving ammo. We weren't simply rushing through these woods but choosing careful where we went. I remember the guys all talking about which way to go and things but not their words. I also remember them speaking with words that had no meaning to me. These were military words, words of cover and movement. I woke from that dream thinking how odd.

Then I went back to sleep and found myself traveling to another country. This was like a third world country. I remember seeing this strange outdoor markets. The people were dark skinned but not black. They were all going about daily business. I saw this one market down by a river or some kind of water. It felt like that anyway. I was getting my money to put in my pocket. I remember having a mix of US bills and whatever currency that was theirs. I folded it and put it in my front pocket but before I did I took one bill out to buy something with. They had these hair ties that were actually something else also. It was blue, elastic feeling and sparkled. I put it in my hair and continued to shop. Then all of a sudden everyone was gone. I didn't hear them leave, I just turned around and no one was there. So I left feeling a little strange. Then it seemed like I was on a ship. Something like a cruise ship but it was a building instead. The design of the interior is what made me think of a cruise ship. I was walking around and I'd talk to people every once in a while. I ran across this family of older people. They were so funny and apparently well to do and well connected. I was stopped talking to them and there was this man and woman sitting with them and they introduced us. It was an ex-President and his wife. She was really sweet and he seemed a little bashful. He wasn't being mean or anything but it was like he was a bit embarrassed. So they started to leave and drug me along with them. I was talking to a man and he said that he always invited a bunch of friends along with him on "these things" and of course (and he smiled sweetly) I pay for their tickets. I was a little confused why he was telling me all this but then it was like the media caught up with the group and there were lights flashing and people were more huddled together trying to move through. The main two people were pushed out ahead of us and some people got between them and us and then turned us down another passage way. I was told they were trying to get the media to follow us and away from the other two. I just shrugged and went. Then I was back on my own again looking for a drink. Which is what I had been looking for when I ran into that family. So now the bartender was gone and I couldn't find anything so I gave up on that and was standing there when Chuck showed up. He took my arm and said we were going to some island that I had never heard of. Then he informed me he was going to try skateboarding again. I said you have to promise me you won't hurt yourself. He laughed and said he wouldn't and we were walking off.

Then the night before last....

The first dream was me asleep in bed with Gryph. We were curled up and I remembered thinking that she and I are so close and if anyone else saw how close they would think that is was sexual. It's not we are like sisters. There were women at the foot of the bed whispering. One medium dark short hair, she was kind of leaning up to whisper into this other light haired woman's ear. I layed my head back down and thought how nice it was to have my sister with me.

Then I was in an apartment building. It was like I was moving in. It was all very strange I had been in the room but had gone outside with the dog. BTW it didn't look like any of my dogs. So we walked back to where you would go to get upstairs. The problem was there was just this small square. The dog ran in and I lifted the door and looked in. I thought how am I suppose to get in there. I couldn't see any other way in. So I turned to go find some help. I came back with a man and told him the problem. He smiled and said just take the stairs. All of a sudden there were stairs back behind the little wooden door. I said oh, I didn't see those before and he just smiled at me and I woke up.

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This morning I woke at 7:00am but felt like I had left something unfinished and went back to sleep. I drifted but never went fully back to sleep. I wanted to stay there, where ever there was. It was calm and peaceful. I got up at 8:30am not wanting to, wishing I could stay in the inbetween state all day.

Musing

I have to wonder sometimes. I just hung up from speaking with my mom. She told me that my cousin Ronnie had been up to see my dad today. They had a really good visit. Then we started talking about other things. She told dad he needed to have a living will just in case. I can see my mom having this conversation with dad. They talked about what he wanted done. He said if his heart stopped then he would want them to get it going again but he didn't want them to put him on machines. So mom also said she wanted him to change the will. So I hope they get those things taken care of very quickly.

So we were having this conversation when she brought up the fact that he'd have to pass a heart test before he can have surgery. Wait a minute my brain was saying, no one told me this part. So if he can't pass the heart test he can't have surgery. Which means that there is nothing they can do. So now why didn't they tell me this little detail? Another thing dad is afraid of is that he will be in pain. This really terrifies him. Mom promised him that as long as it was in her power he would not be in pain. Dad is afraid that he won't pass the heart test either. He asked mom what will happen if I don't pass the heart test. So she told him not to worry he'd pass, he passed the past time. He said but barely. So that is another worry for him.

It seems like about the time i get my head wrapped round everything something else is thrown in to the mix. I'm still trying to stay positive and I'm going to have to start tapping into other energy than my own. LOL yeah I know better but sometimes I forget when it's my family. Plus I have to remind myself to protect myself.

I had my check up and all my parts are where they are suppose to be so that's cool. lol The doctor did say it's time for me to start having mamograms. Which is cool, I am at that age. I can't decide if I'm a little down or not. See I'm working on keeping that kind of energy out of my life but with all that's going on it's kind of difficult. Part of it is that I can't help my dad see how much positive energy and thought can help him. I know there are stages to go through, I really do understand that. It's just hard to see a loved one in pain.

If he can't do the operation then I'll be putting a lot of energy into healing him. If they can't then maybe I can with help.

Fucked up Thursday

Today as if there isn't enough in the world to drive a person mad I get to add one more thing.

Today my dad went his surgeons appointment today. It seems that the largest mass is 1 to 1 1/2 inches from his rectum. Now what this means is that he has to have a bag. Well he doesn't have to have the bag but if they operate and he doesn't he will have no control over his bowels and will have to wear a diaper. So there is not much of an option between the two. He was devastated when he nd mom came over today. He has an appointment for July 13th to have the surgery. When he first found out he told us he would not let them operae if he was to have a bag. I'm not sure what to think now.

I can't get dad to stay positive. He is so freaked out right now it's not funny. I could see it in mom's eyes too. How do you help someone become positive when all they can think of is they have cancer? How do you help them realize that being positive will help them. How do you convince them that you are trying to stay strong and positive to help them? I know that what my dad has ben told is a live changing thing and I know he is scared. How else can I help him? What else can I do?

I'm feeling rather numb. Again I feel like I'm doing this on my own. By that I mean each of my family is dealing with this in the best way for them. I get the feeling they think that I'm in denial over this. I'm not I'm trying to keep positive energy flowing as I really don't want to fall into a depression. I can say that it would be very easy to do so. I feel myself wanting to fall. Today has just been so odd, moving slowly, surreal.

Yep I'm feeling a little raw. Yeah, I'm feeling like I could bite a few people's head off. Guess what the latter would make me feel better. Why? Because people don't realize how raw I'm feeling. Then i'd feel bad for taking out my emotions on them.

Right now I'm thinking my favorite phrase for a while will be "Fuck it".

Update

Dad had his CT scan today, the goods news is they didn't find anyting anywhere else. :-) So that is good news. Now if we can get him to keep positive we'll be in much better shape. Now they will go to the doctor and see what his options are. My mom sounded so good when she called to tell me. She sounded positive and hopeful. Dad talked to an ole Navy buddy who has had cancer for a long time. He told Dad of another Navy buddy that has colon cancer. He told dad the man was out dancing all the time. I'm hoping that dad will see this as a possibility.

I don't know...

where to start.

I'm highly stressed and I'd break down if I thought it help. Today the boys and I went to se mom and dad. It took dad about 20 minuts to come and greet us. It's unusual but I knew what he was doing. He said hey to the boys then found me. He hugged me and cried. You don't know how much it tore me up to feel his pain. He apologized for crying and I told him not to worry about it. It was ok to cry and don't worry. He said I tried to compose myself but I can't. I again told him it was ok and I understood. He apologized again and said I didn't think I'd be so emotional over this. I hugged him and said it's ok and you have been told something really huge, it's understandable. He said he had to wipe his eyes so I gave him a moment and then stood behind him rubbing his shoulders and sending him strength. I've never felt anything like it before. It felt like he was going to pull me through his skin.

How would I feel if I were told I had cancer? I don't know... he was very depressed today. Friday he sounded strong. Today he just.... was having a hard time with it. monday he goes in for a scan to see if it's spread. We'll know more then.

I gave so much that I have this killer headache now. It started to get better but is back now. heck i don't know... it comes and goes.

Adenocarcinoma and ademoma according to my mothers spelling is what my dad has been diagnosed as having. They removed 7 pollops from him on Thursday and left 3 larger ones. He told them not to cut anything off of him. Obviously they don't listen well. My dad said that he will not let them operate on him. He has always said that. We'll see what happens from here.

Monday he will go in for a CT scan to see if it's spread or not. I'll know more after that.

Then gay found out that her litle dog DJ has cancer. It's not been a good week for news.

It's Been Awhile

I not sure where to start.

I personally am doing great. Write more after my nap.

fuck it.. I had an update typed up on what's been going on and the piece of shit disappeared.

Saving the Daughter

I with a bunch of people at what appears to be a barn. I remember seeing the barn and the riding arenas. There was white gravel all around this one arena and that seemed to be where we were pretty much located at.

We were all just walking around talking and getting things prepared. It was daylight not quite dusk. I had all these candles sitting out on a table. One girl was with me while I was working on something. There was a comfortable chair with a lamp beside the arena also and this was where all the candles were. Well most of them. I was lighting a candle and checking it out. It was one of those pillar candles in a jar.

So the girl in the arena lit her candle and I started explaining about setting out the candles. I was telling her if she wanted she could only have a God/dess candle but that some people would also have candles at the quarters and some would even have them in between. As I was telling her it was like a picture was there to show what I was talking about. I lit one candle and remember thinking but I will have a circle of candles for when it gets dark.

This is where the dream tried to make me think I was in a horror film. I got only one candle lit and then it was dark and I knew she came in the dark. As long as there was light on you she wouldn't touch you. I couldn't find the other candles. Something was wrong with the wicks when I did. Someone was sitting in the chair and I walked over to them and I could see "her" around the chair just in the darkness. She was angry because we had the light on. I moved the lamp which should have made it brighter but it had the reverse affect. So I moved it back, she was screeching at us at times. I was telling the person in the chair that I didn't know what happened to all the candles. Then something happened that I really don't know what it means. "She" came to us and told us that her daughter had been captured and she wanted us to save her. It was strange because in the dream I wasn't terrified like I thought I would be but more like ok. So we were trying to work out the part about it being dark and her hurting us while we were trying to save her daughter. Then one of the girls grabs her light and takes off for the barn. I'm guessing this barn was like a portal. I had my candle and was right on her heels thinking well she is a Priestess of the Morrighan so of course she'd help. Then my brain started saying this thing, this She was not the Morrighan. I said to myself that I too was a Priestess of the Morrighan and had nothing to fear. So next thing I know is we have a bunch of people with us. Male and female. The whole time She was floating around here and there leading us to her daughter. My candle was giving me trouble and I was worried it'd go out. I cut the wick and relit it and it burned brightly. Then it was barely glowing. I looked into the glass and melted wax covered the flame and that's why it wasn't burning very brightly. So I dumped some of the wax out and it was bright again. Then it went completely out. Now this is while we are on our journey to save the daughter. This one girl was going to use her candle to re-light mine but there was about 6 inches of hot wax on top. I stuck my hand in there to move the wax over so she could re-light it. When she would start you could see that the wax was still in the way. I was trying to tell myself that the wax was hot but it never burned me. Finally I dumped out a whole lot of hot wax so she could re-light the candle. Off we went again.

So now we went through one barn and into an open area out behind that barn. Now going through that barn wasn't simply walking through. We went down into the earth and weaved ourselves through and came out the other side of the barn. There was a large arena behind that barn in the clearing. At the bottom of the hill was another barn. As we got to this barn my candle again went out. This time when I looked in I saw that the wick had burned completely down. So I was going to go back and get another candle or a flashlight. There was a guy there that was going with me because he had to get something too. So we jumped in this 4 wheeler thingy which seemed like we had been riding in those the whole time without me realizing it. We were hauling butt because neither of us had a light. It was strange though because it looked like it was daylight. We drove for a long way and this path we were going down was shaded but very open. For some reason the 4 wheeler started slowing down, it was running out of power. It ran on electricity. So we abandoned that and ran on foot. As we were going I was telling him that one of the other guys had plugged his 4 wheeler in so it would be fully powered and we could take it back to the others. We had some conversation about that as we ran and hid to make sure She didn't get us.

It seemed like we were back with the others and starting to battle with whoever had the daughter. I remember thinking why didn't She call the nightmare to help in getting her daughter back. Then I woke up.