Musing
I have to wonder sometimes. I just hung up from speaking with my mom. She told me that my cousin Ronnie had been up to see my dad today. They had a really good visit. Then we started talking about other things. She told dad he needed to have a living will just in case. I can see my mom having this conversation with dad. They talked about what he wanted done. He said if his heart stopped then he would want them to get it going again but he didn't want them to put him on machines. So mom also said she wanted him to change the will. So I hope they get those things taken care of very quickly.
So we were having this conversation when she brought up the fact that he'd have to pass a heart test before he can have surgery. Wait a minute my brain was saying, no one told me this part. So if he can't pass the heart test he can't have surgery. Which means that there is nothing they can do. So now why didn't they tell me this little detail? Another thing dad is afraid of is that he will be in pain. This really terrifies him. Mom promised him that as long as it was in her power he would not be in pain. Dad is afraid that he won't pass the heart test either. He asked mom what will happen if I don't pass the heart test. So she told him not to worry he'd pass, he passed the past time. He said but barely. So that is another worry for him.
It seems like about the time i get my head wrapped round everything something else is thrown in to the mix. I'm still trying to stay positive and I'm going to have to start tapping into other energy than my own. LOL yeah I know better but sometimes I forget when it's my family. Plus I have to remind myself to protect myself.
I had my check up and all my parts are where they are suppose to be so that's cool. lol The doctor did say it's time for me to start having mamograms. Which is cool, I am at that age. I can't decide if I'm a little down or not. See I'm working on keeping that kind of energy out of my life but with all that's going on it's kind of difficult. Part of it is that I can't help my dad see how much positive energy and thought can help him. I know there are stages to go through, I really do understand that. It's just hard to see a loved one in pain.
If he can't do the operation then I'll be putting a lot of energy into healing him. If they can't then maybe I can with help.
So we were having this conversation when she brought up the fact that he'd have to pass a heart test before he can have surgery. Wait a minute my brain was saying, no one told me this part. So if he can't pass the heart test he can't have surgery. Which means that there is nothing they can do. So now why didn't they tell me this little detail? Another thing dad is afraid of is that he will be in pain. This really terrifies him. Mom promised him that as long as it was in her power he would not be in pain. Dad is afraid that he won't pass the heart test either. He asked mom what will happen if I don't pass the heart test. So she told him not to worry he'd pass, he passed the past time. He said but barely. So that is another worry for him.
It seems like about the time i get my head wrapped round everything something else is thrown in to the mix. I'm still trying to stay positive and I'm going to have to start tapping into other energy than my own. LOL yeah I know better but sometimes I forget when it's my family. Plus I have to remind myself to protect myself.
I had my check up and all my parts are where they are suppose to be so that's cool. lol The doctor did say it's time for me to start having mamograms. Which is cool, I am at that age. I can't decide if I'm a little down or not. See I'm working on keeping that kind of energy out of my life but with all that's going on it's kind of difficult. Part of it is that I can't help my dad see how much positive energy and thought can help him. I know there are stages to go through, I really do understand that. It's just hard to see a loved one in pain.
If he can't do the operation then I'll be putting a lot of energy into healing him. If they can't then maybe I can with help.
2 Comments:
Let me know if there is anything that I can do to help you.
Love,
Seren
Hey, maybe our families should go bowling together, ya think? I'm REALLY glad you got yourself checked as well - I've just baked a carrot cake with vanilla wanut cream cheese frosting, want some? Don't make me bring it over myself *hugs*
XOXOXO
Shonna
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