This That and the Other
In the past I've noticed the way people react to different things that are said. There are things that set them off and you can see they are ready to fight over some strange things. You know, their triggers. Most of the time there isn't much that sets me off to where I will post to a general public. Close friends is one thing but general is a different story.
At one point something that was bashing men was posted. Now normally on the list this happened on we just laughed and someone would post another funny. It would usually be something bashing women. It was all done in fun. Well this happened not long ago and this one woman just went off the deep end about the one bashing women, where she thought the one about men was funny. The man who posted to one about women did so to make a point and he made it well. She enjoyed one about men bashing but turn the tables and she couldn't handle it. I know you wonder where I'm going with this. The point is triggers. We all have them and a lot of the time I don't think we are aware of what they are. We go through life feeling fine and then wham someone hits us with one and we have a knee jerk reaction instead of thinking about why we are feeling this way.
One I have is injustice but not injustice as some of it just seems to big to do anything about. Another when someone doesn't trust my word. If I promise something then I've promised. I feel the anger build inside me when it's questioned. I try to understand their side of things but if we talked about it and I said I promise then that's that to me. I've also found that being forced to do something makes me rebel really bad. It really doesn't matter what it is I just don't like being forced to. I'm more than likely to stay quiet about all these things because once you've said something you can never take it back. So I wind up not saying anything and seething inside over it. I let it build and build. I'm sure there is a healthy way to handle it but each one always seems like it would hurt someone else. You know thats actually a weird out look on it. I would rather hurt myself than someone else? I'm not talking about intentional hurts like telling someone they are a dumbass. I could see where being up front has it's good points.
I'll write more in a few minutes... I've got to get to the office.
Made it to the office only to found out that now spammers are hitting Blogger? Good grief what dickheads.
I think one of the reason I don't tell people stuff up front is that by the time I get to that point I'm usually pissed off and really shouldn't speak to anyone. Plus I always feel it will only inflame a situation. So why do it, ya know? I'm afraid that what would actually come out of my mouth would be a fuck off.
A while back I had written about men that I would never date again. Well really it's the sun sign. lol I decided when I first wrote it that I would revisit my thoughts on those signs. Well the first guy who ever broken my heart was another Cancer. Found another one later and he kind of did the same thing. My fault for letting it happen. So Cancers are still out. Then there is Tom, Scorpio. Things felt like they were getting better with he and I that he was starting to understand he didn't have control anymore. Well, that went down hill. So I will never date a Scorpio. I can't take that intense back and forth they do. Then Gemini, while charming and sweet and loads of fun... They have two faces. Not that it means they are bad by any means. However I can't have the yes/no thing where it happens at the same time. You know things were much easier when I was young and didn't care. I do care now and honestly I wish I could go back to when things didn't sit so close within me.
Thinking on it it's sort of like then I didn't care about love as it had no meaning to me. It was a useless emotion that caused people a lot of pain. So why would I want it? Well somewhere along the way I started understanding it a bit. I can't say I understand a lot of it as it is one of those mysteries. lol There are times I would like to say that if I didn't have someone that I could love by a certain age then that'd be it. However life is interesting and when you say things like that it will through someone at you. It's like an experiement. They people in control watch you and when they see you struggle and regain your footing they throw something in to see how you will react. lol
I was reading a palmistry book several years back and they said on the side of your hand right below your pinky finger there are lines which indicate significant relation ships that will be in your life. I have two and both of these are deep lines. Kind of strange thinking that there could only be two significant relationships in your life. Maybe because it seems every person you are involved with on some level impact your life whether it be good or bad. I believe there is some that is indifferent that will help you somewhere along the way.
Sitting here and trying to understand some things is useless. I'm not use if it's because they don't really matter or I just don't really care.
More later... work calls.
At one point something that was bashing men was posted. Now normally on the list this happened on we just laughed and someone would post another funny. It would usually be something bashing women. It was all done in fun. Well this happened not long ago and this one woman just went off the deep end about the one bashing women, where she thought the one about men was funny. The man who posted to one about women did so to make a point and he made it well. She enjoyed one about men bashing but turn the tables and she couldn't handle it. I know you wonder where I'm going with this. The point is triggers. We all have them and a lot of the time I don't think we are aware of what they are. We go through life feeling fine and then wham someone hits us with one and we have a knee jerk reaction instead of thinking about why we are feeling this way.
One I have is injustice but not injustice as some of it just seems to big to do anything about. Another when someone doesn't trust my word. If I promise something then I've promised. I feel the anger build inside me when it's questioned. I try to understand their side of things but if we talked about it and I said I promise then that's that to me. I've also found that being forced to do something makes me rebel really bad. It really doesn't matter what it is I just don't like being forced to. I'm more than likely to stay quiet about all these things because once you've said something you can never take it back. So I wind up not saying anything and seething inside over it. I let it build and build. I'm sure there is a healthy way to handle it but each one always seems like it would hurt someone else. You know thats actually a weird out look on it. I would rather hurt myself than someone else? I'm not talking about intentional hurts like telling someone they are a dumbass. I could see where being up front has it's good points.
I'll write more in a few minutes... I've got to get to the office.
Made it to the office only to found out that now spammers are hitting Blogger? Good grief what dickheads.
I think one of the reason I don't tell people stuff up front is that by the time I get to that point I'm usually pissed off and really shouldn't speak to anyone. Plus I always feel it will only inflame a situation. So why do it, ya know? I'm afraid that what would actually come out of my mouth would be a fuck off.
A while back I had written about men that I would never date again. Well really it's the sun sign. lol I decided when I first wrote it that I would revisit my thoughts on those signs. Well the first guy who ever broken my heart was another Cancer. Found another one later and he kind of did the same thing. My fault for letting it happen. So Cancers are still out. Then there is Tom, Scorpio. Things felt like they were getting better with he and I that he was starting to understand he didn't have control anymore. Well, that went down hill. So I will never date a Scorpio. I can't take that intense back and forth they do. Then Gemini, while charming and sweet and loads of fun... They have two faces. Not that it means they are bad by any means. However I can't have the yes/no thing where it happens at the same time. You know things were much easier when I was young and didn't care. I do care now and honestly I wish I could go back to when things didn't sit so close within me.
Thinking on it it's sort of like then I didn't care about love as it had no meaning to me. It was a useless emotion that caused people a lot of pain. So why would I want it? Well somewhere along the way I started understanding it a bit. I can't say I understand a lot of it as it is one of those mysteries. lol There are times I would like to say that if I didn't have someone that I could love by a certain age then that'd be it. However life is interesting and when you say things like that it will through someone at you. It's like an experiement. They people in control watch you and when they see you struggle and regain your footing they throw something in to see how you will react. lol
I was reading a palmistry book several years back and they said on the side of your hand right below your pinky finger there are lines which indicate significant relation ships that will be in your life. I have two and both of these are deep lines. Kind of strange thinking that there could only be two significant relationships in your life. Maybe because it seems every person you are involved with on some level impact your life whether it be good or bad. I believe there is some that is indifferent that will help you somewhere along the way.
Sitting here and trying to understand some things is useless. I'm not use if it's because they don't really matter or I just don't really care.
More later... work calls.
1 Comments:
I think that one of mine is not being trusted as well; and one is definitely not being believed when I say something.
Post a Comment
<< Home