Today Michael and I went to look at trading his car in on something else. Tom said it would be ok and Michael had found a car he wanted but it had already been sold. So we were headed back to the house when Gay called and asked if we wanted to grab something to eat. She was having her hair done and they were just finishing up. So I said yeah and Michael and I stopped at Barnes and Noble to look at books while we waited for her to be done.
It's Bri's fault because she told me the Ancestors of Avalon (MZB) by Diana Paxson was out. I wanted to pick it up. While I was there I looked around and decided to pick up the 5000 spells books. Someone is going to have to save me. I'm fighting myself. I found the perfect spell but know that it's probably not the best thing I could do. I want to do it. Easy enough to do and the spell is actually along the lines of how I like to work.
Michael asked Tom if he could borrow his car to drive to school tomorrow. Tom said yes but I think the reason is the Dallas is there and he wants to introduce her to Michael. I'm not dealing with this as well as I hoped I would. I ready to do some damage. I'm finding myself wishing some really bad shit on him. I'd rather have him dead and out of my life than just out of my life. Ok, that may sound a bit harsh but it's the truth.
I have felt something growing in me in the past couple of hours that worries me. It's like a monster. I feel it trying to well up and stretching. Almost as if it is saying release me.
It's Bri's fault because she told me the Ancestors of Avalon (MZB) by Diana Paxson was out. I wanted to pick it up. While I was there I looked around and decided to pick up the 5000 spells books. Someone is going to have to save me. I'm fighting myself. I found the perfect spell but know that it's probably not the best thing I could do. I want to do it. Easy enough to do and the spell is actually along the lines of how I like to work.
Michael asked Tom if he could borrow his car to drive to school tomorrow. Tom said yes but I think the reason is the Dallas is there and he wants to introduce her to Michael. I'm not dealing with this as well as I hoped I would. I ready to do some damage. I'm finding myself wishing some really bad shit on him. I'd rather have him dead and out of my life than just out of my life. Ok, that may sound a bit harsh but it's the truth.
I have felt something growing in me in the past couple of hours that worries me. It's like a monster. I feel it trying to well up and stretching. Almost as if it is saying release me.
5 Comments:
Oh, Georgia...I can read your despair and wish I could make it go away. You have my number, call me later and we can cry together.
Thanks Pixie. I really appreciate it. I just remember feeling Michael when Tom first told him about Dallas. It tore Michael up. Of course Tom decided that it was terrible for himself. *rolls eyes* I know I can't protect Michael from all the hurts but I want too.
I think I'll be opening my mead in a bit. lol :-)
Dear Georgia,
Got this goofy thing to work for a day. Anyway, I am sorry that you are feeling such anger and pain. I so wish that I could take it away from you and release it for you. I love you so much and I hope that the monster you are feeling is just the anger and pain trying to get you to let go. Not forget my dear, just let go. I love you.
Gen
Thanks Gen... I'm working on releasing it. I don't mind dealing with my shadow, I do mind the guilt that I feel with these thoughts.
Love you too
Georgia
Hold on tight, darlin, though you can't protect Michael from the hurts, you can still hold him through it and he will always know that you will be there no matter what - and at least he's got *one* parent who is. He's a lucky young man.
Call me if you need anything at all.....
even.....dare I say it.................red wine and/or mead????
*hug*
XOXOXO
Shonna
Post a Comment
<< Home