I was going to leave out part of the Glastonbury trip where things got all pear shaped but it’s been brought up and I’ll give the story from the other side.

After the group kind of split up going their own way and Jo and I were off playing in the streets, we went back to the Blue Note. The Blue Note trip in the morning was said there were innuendos thrown around. I was sitting there also and did hear the others involved in it. I was sitting next to Trevor and heard him say something to Mab and I and that was it. We found Aud and Ian there. They were so cute and had been fairy dusted. Aud had bought fairy ears and so had Jo. They were both so cute with them on. J We sat waiting for the others and I believe it was Aud who said the others had gone back to the camp. We all agreed that we wanted to stay in town and goof off. So that’s what we did. Now when we were in the G&P the night before we had been invited to the moot and at that point they all kind of nodded in agreement but later recanted. I wanted to go because well I thought it would be very interesting to hear someone speak about faeries and see how these people interacted with each other.

As to be ignored, you that were there know the shop is a small space and not everyone can get in there at one time. Not only that but don’t forget when you put out nasty vibes about people they can feel them too. I had ignored those vibes because one at first I wasn’t paying attention and secondly figured they would work themselves out. Didn’t realize it was going to be done so in the way it did. No he wasn’t leering at us he was selling merchandise. We laughed and talked he told us about the folks who supply him with merchandise ect..

I don’t know about the grabbing from behind because I wasn’t there so I can’t say one way or the other. I’m not taking anyone’s word on what happened or what the intent was.

So I spent the night with my brain trying to figure out how to go to The Chalice Wells, the Tor and the Moot. My brain malfunctioned and I went to sleep instead. So the next morning while we were shopping I started thinking about it again. Finally I told Jo about it so she figured away of working it all out. I was satisfied with what she came up with. So then I felt everything was back in order. Off we went and shopped. Time got closer to when we would go to the Chalice Wells and we needed to get some bottles for water for Corey. So we went back to Trevor’s shop got the bottles, some oils, and Mab and I both bought a pendant. Being Jo she said she would take the stuff from the earlier shopping trip back to camp so it didn’t have to be carried. My stuff fit in my purse so it wasn’t a problem and I held the bottles for Mab. I had waffled on a couple of oils I wanted and wanted to make sure that I had them so while we waited on all the others to get there went back to the shop. Got there and one of the oils was gone and I laughed saying I shouldn’t have shown it to Mab. I didn’t however ask if he had anymore because I didn’t think about it. LOL So Ian came to tell me the others had come and were walking up to the Wells already. I was in the process of paying for my stuff and Trevor said go on I’ll get the money from you later. I thanked him for that and went off. I got to High street and the only person there was Aud . So Ian and I asked and she said they went on ahead. Personally I thought that was a little rude (actually we all thought it was a bit rude) but then again I didn’t know how far or how long it would take to get to the Chalice Wells. So off we three went after phoning Mab. She said go on and I’ll catch up. So here we go hoofing it up High street we saw a woohooer, which breaks down to a drunk guy woohooing in people’s faces as he came to them. We kind of laughed at it and when he got closer to us he straightened his body, nodded and said Good afternoon. LOL I guess we were more, intimidating or serious looking than the other people. We were giggling cause he got past us and started woohooing again. So now we are getting tired of trying to catch up but know we have to get there before they close. We asked for directions as none of us knew where we were going. A nice man told us and how far. I think that fellow had a problem with distance. LOL So we got there and there was 5 minutes to spare getting into the Wells. The nice elderly lady told us that they usually let people stay for a while even after they closed. So we begged and pleaded she wait for Mab. Ian phoned her to find out where she was and she was really close. I did the southern thing and got her to agree a bit and then Ian went over and sweet talked her the rest of the way. So Aud and I took a breather and I took a couple of pictures at that point. I heard Phoenix and went to tell him we were waiting on Mab and she should be there any minute. Oh and we had already paid for Mab to get in and the nice older woman came and said she would give us back the money. That’s when Ian went to work. Aud told her to no keep the money one way or the other. The woman was quite happy with that so I think maybe Aud had a little hand in keeping that gate open a bit longer. Finally we all get there and put our feet in the water. That is some COLD water. Everybody warned the bottom was slick so there was a lot of caution used. So I got all my necklaces, including my new one and held them in the water. It was nice but the tension was thick. I decided to just let that alone and relax. One particular person was extremely nasty in her vibes. You would have thought I peed on her tent sometime in the night the way she was acting. I look at it this way. I didn’t have to be around her. So I wasn’t. That didn’t change throughout the rest of the trip either. Let’s say that was one person that truly surprised me in their actions. I now as far as I’m concerned she no longer exists. If she reads this she should pick her name up. I knew Kate was acting a little strange but I wanted her off by herself to talk with her. I don’t like outside influences when I trying to talk with someone one on one. Too many things get in the way then. I figured when we got back to camp I’d get the chance so didn’t push. I think that’s when Trevor showed up. Now I don’t know maybe it’s a southern thing but there is something about being polite that was lacking. Then who am I to say who people like or dislike? So they all made a hasty retreat and I had to get my stuff together. Now in the background there is a lurker, a spy if you will. Staying hidden leaving me feeling like, well, I was being watched and a much used word leered at. No it wasn’t Trevor. I brushed it off as I’m on vacation and don’t want to deal with those kinds of feelings. The others had moved on to the Well and I purposely stayed back to keep the two groups apart. I figured they could have their well time unworried. When we finally showed up She will no longer exist was pushing out some really heavy negative vibes. Pretty immature to do in such a nice place. Thanks for tainting the energy. So we sat down and did some meditating. I have to laugh as Mab tried to sneak of picture of me… Silly woman you forgot to take the lens cap OFF! LOL so I saw the group up on the next level before I did my meditation and was trying to keep track of them. Obviously it didn’t work. I finish get a picture taken there and say Where is everyone? Now see when I’m with a group I do several things. I keep track (normally) of where everyone is by listening for them. I scanned the area and didn’t see them so I listened and didn’t hear one thing. I honestly didn’t know there was any more of the area left to explore. I didn’t ask either, I was just interesting in keeping them in sight at the least. I still had that being watched crap that I hate so much. It usually puts me in a defensive mode and I’m looking for a weapon. Yeah, that kind of being watched feeling. So I asked and we don’t know where they went. So I figured like before they took off to the Tor. What did I have to judge on what they would do? They took off to the Wells without waiting. So I said great my feet are hurting I’m getting blisters and now I have to hump it to catch up with the group. So I say come on Trevor you know the way to the Tor. So we take off and again he shows me some stuff on the way. There was something really great about being in a pasture. LOL I don’t know how to explain it but it relaxes me. Maybe because of my childhood. So I’m getting into this calm feeling which was very different from what I had just been through at the Wells. As I was walking I felt again that eye upon me. I brushed it off as I didn’t want that to interfere with my calmness I had now. So after numerous stops up the Tor which of course I turned into history lessons, thank you Trevor for doing the history we got almost to the top. Trevor said I see Kate. I said it’s not fair you’re taller than me and all I can see is dirt and grass. Grins I kept saying I don’t think you saw Kate cause I don’t see any of the others. He swore he did and we searched the top for them. Now knowing the negative feelings that were going on I thought well maybe they had claimed a spot somewhere. Nope, then again I complained that I busted my ass to get up there fast so we wouldn’t be so far behind and they weren’t there. Now I’m thinking did they change their minds about climbing the Tor? So we looked around and I was told more about the land. Then I felt him… I turned and there comes Andy up the Tor and I don’t see the others. So I go over to say hey and asked where everyone else is. That’s when I started seeing the others. Now I’m laughing at myself thinking about hurrying up the Tor to catch them. Twice on this trip I hurried up to catch them to only find they were behind me. I was interested in seeing that the ones who had trouble with heights made it. I was happy for them because after being up there I would have hated that they missed it. So we finally sat down, definitely two groups. They sat with their backs protected and we sat on the grass getting blown in the wind. The sunset was very pretty but what got me was the sound of a shot. In a bit Trevor pointed out his yellow cloud on the horizon. He explained they were blasting over there and that was the noise. He explained about the water having been inland and what was above ground then and so forth. I enjoyed listening to him tell that and the fact that there was pride in his voice about the area. I started getting cold. I know I laughed at the others for thinking it was hot when they were setting up the tents but well I don’t do cold. LOL I had my blankie but was still freezing. I was glad when the others were ready to go down. We all went down together and that last bit of the way I was making sure that Juell stayed on her feet and not her face. She is so funny. We got down and I’m thinking I need a bush… I’m dying to go to the bathroom… It’s a pasture for Gods sake… You think the cows are going to be offended someone went to the bathroom? I was told no don’t go here there’s a pub close by. I was doing the pee pee dance and really didn’t care if the others had gathered or not. So Trevor agreed to escort me to the nearest pub, but he said he wouldn’t go there. So I said fine then one you would go to. I figured he is from there and knows better than I. So we started off and Jennie came saying she needed to go. Cool…. So we are off and Trevor is usually a bit of ahead of us as we are laughing about the bushes we are passing. We made it to the first Pub on High Street. Jennie runs in and I go in after her. Now I saw a sign that said basically no drink, no loo. My conscious got the better of me so I decided to wait. So I go back outside and sit down on the table that’s out there and wait for Jennie. She comes out saying something like did you go? I said no I’d wait. I’m past that point of no bladder control so we continue down. We are walking and talking. Not one time was she ever told to go back to the others. Not ONE single time.

About the moot thing. Yes Trevor did tell them the moot would be over cause it was. After the moot it had been explained to then twice that a lot of the people stayed and drank and could stay as long as we wanted.

So now they’ve all said again they were going to the moot. That had been settled. So we get to the pub and my first question is where is the bathroom. I hadn’t been so happy to find one in a long time. I’m in there mumbling to myself about how wonderful these places could be. Hehe I come out and almost get literally run over by Jennie. She is going 90 miles an hour with I didn’t know you and Trevor had anything going I’m so sorry that I interfered and I’m blinking like a deer in the headlights cause well she caught me off guard. I’m still thinking Oh what a relief it is… and here she comes. I said it’s ok Jennie don’t worry about it you were more than welcomed to come with us. She says are you sure? I said of course. We go back out and get our pints and go up stairs. Right before we got our pints Jennie was talking about how she loved meeting new people and that she’d talk to anyone. LOL So we got up there and sat down and the lady that works with Trevor was there so I started talking to her and Jennie started talking to this other lady. As we were all talking things seemed to be ok and then I noticed the others all hadn’t shown up. I remember seeing someone standing at the door but not sure exactly who.

Now this is the point where there was so much lack of communication and I’ll call it what it felt like to me down right lies that things sunk. Next thing I know Jennie is saying they want to go to the G&P instead. I said ok… let me finish my pint and I’ll be right there. She said are you sure and I said yes. I had only had two drinks out of that pint. It would have been rude to not drink the pint after saying I wanted one. So she says ok we are going over there. I say fine I’ll be along after I’m finished with this drink. She smiles and goes. I’m back to talking when again I’m told we are going to the G&P are you coming… Yes, AFTER I finish my drink…. Ok… so I drink it faster. I don’t like to drink fast, it annoys me. The point of drinking to me is to relax not see how freakin fast you can drink. So now the voice in my head is nagging at me about how hard is it to let someone drink a pint. How many times do I have to say When I am done with this pint I will be there. So I finished it and before any thing else happens here comes Mab. The look on her face tells me more than I want to know. I feel it well up inside of me. I’m thinking what the fuck NOW! I just finished the damn pint. Trevor says spill it. So we move to another table and Mab starts going through the “groups” fears. I’m listening and getting really pissed off. Not because they were concerned for me I appreciated that and knew the ones who were concerned. Thank you. It was the other stuff. The more she talked the angrier I got. I finally said I told you I wanted you to meet Brian and by god you are going to meet him. Mab looked a little stunned but knew that I was getting in a snit so she said ok.

Now when she started telling what was happening she got to the part about going to the G&P. The story that was told down stairs wasn’t even close to what had been said. That is what set me off. I was accused of ignoring Jennie. I didn’t. I responded to her in the same fashion too many times. I don’t like people telling lies about me. It was a lie and pissed me right off. Then other inconsistency were relayed. So Mab met Drew also and they had a smoke together and came back in. Then we went and Drew tagged along. The group was sitting at the same table we first sat at. I wasn’t sitting in the drain your energy seat of the window seat, I learned that lesson. So I stood got another pint and now I’m looking around at these people thinking how much my eyes had been opened to group dynamics. And also how people only heard what they wanted. Pissed me off even more. So I realized Drew didn’t know any of the others and did introductions. Each and every person that was there. They all looked like I was going to say something nasty about them. What I said about each one was true. I left out any negative thoughts I may have had. Those didn’t need to be shared. I finished that pint too fast. The group said we are going back. Now you see this is where my rebellion came into play. I’m 43 fucking years old. I’m a very good judge of character. I know that not everyone is going to get along. I have no problem with that. However, when people start treating me like I’m a child it annoys me. So I decided to ride back with Trevor. He and I got back and talked for quite a while. He tried to get me to calm down but the more I thought on it the more annoyed I got. He left and I headed to the camp. I was feeling pissy and annoyed and any other negative you can think of. I wanted to go into the camp and call every lie out for what it was. A lie. I wanted to make those people who had lied feel like crap for doing so. Ruining a perfectly good day. Then the side of me that makes me think steps in and says ok they say they were worried then why didn’t they come to you instead of huddling like a bunch of hens hiding from the rain? So I decided that ok if that’s what they believed then they probably thought they were doing right. However I knew they were wrong as to where I was concerned. Now the night was really pretty the moon was out and there was plenty of natural like to navigate the whole place. So I stood for a moment and listened to their tones of voice. I didn’t like what I heard so I said fine let’s go walk. Two things you are going to need the potty a lot and you can’t go into camp with this much anger. So I walked and saw all the new campers that had popped up while we were gone for the day and noticed how much nicer the RV section was. Meaning the road beds and stuff. They had some really beautiful trees over there in that section. So past the bathroom a couple of times and went a few times. I go in and before I come back out I hear Kate and another person not to be name because she no longer exists. I’m thinking I could sit here until they are gone but decide I’m feeling defiant and go out. Kate gives me the mom look which made me giggle inside and the other well I won’t go there. So I started to follow them back to the camp. The little negative one was more than I could take so I continued to walk. Call me over observant but I hear and see everything and expect everyone else to be the same. I was wrong. So I walked and walked. I started back to the camp a couple of times but every time I got too close I felt that negative energy and so continued to walk. I had a stone in my pocket that I rubbed the entire time I walked. I had to ground that poor stone and me a few times. I watched as the clouds moved in and thought of calling up a storm I was so angry. I thought to myself it wouldn’t be right to do to the other campers. So I walked. I was throwing so much energy out that I woke up a poor baby, so I started to shield a bit to keep that from happening again. I stood again and looked at the camp and felt the Morrighan with me. I saw the black robes swirling around me and the hounds on the ready. I knew at that moment that I had better keep walking and release this energy. I was ready for a war.

So that is when I was spotted as I passed by again. I mostly walked the little dirt road because the grass was so wet with the dew. I went into the grass each time I started to go back to camp. I saw several people from other camps making their way to the bathroom. Funny thing is I noticed how unaware of their surroundings they were. So I was spotted and really hadn’t the niceness to feel like company. I started to avoid them again but figured what the hell. I didn’t understand the flashlights though. There was more than enough light to see everything around you. When I was grabbed by Mab. At that point her hand touched me I blocked the rest of the world out. I didn’t need spidey sense now. I continued to walk dragging poor Mab along with me. I was starting to feel really guilty about making her walk with me when it was time to make a pit stop. So I go in and she knows how angry I am and gives me the space I need. She knew I wasn’t drunk but she told the others I was cause she didn’t want any words being crossed. As mad as I was I would have said hurtful things and then I would have felt guilty about it. Cause that’s the way I am. I avoid saying anything in anger cause you can never take it back. Being a Cancer we always will remember the hurts. We can forgive but never forget.

So I saw Aud in the bathroom and she made me cry. She is such a sweet and loving person that the care and sadness in her eyes did me in. Then I felt horrible that I cried and made her cry.

So we go out and talk. The more we talk the more I see a pattern so I do what I need to do to stop the niggling voice that feeds peoples fears. I’m anger again but now I can focus and let it out.

Kate for the record it wasn’t you. I love you and understood your part when I had time to think. It was some others that I was mad at and you and Phoenix didn’t deserve to be hit with the anger I felt. J As far as who has or has not posted…. Maybe they need to look within themselves and deal with some demons they felt. It does happen sometimes. I for one and glad you have stayed. Sending out energy even love… well I for one can cleanse energy and like you never turn down free energy. ;-)

As for the one needing help with nightmares if it’s who I think it is… telling her to quit sending out her little negative crap and it will stop. It’s simple. I hope she does and realizes sometimes you don’t have to take sides. Well really if it’s who I think it is I really don’t give a crap, she doesn’t exist.

Now, that’s done… I was never mad at anyone in the beginning I was mad at the situation. Then some had to go beyond the truth, them yeah I’m annoyed with. Kate and Phoenix not in the least. I thanked Phoenix for being protective and I do appreciate it. I just wish if there is a next time that we are ALL (including myself in that) adult enough to talk to each other instead of around.