I know, I know...  It's been ages since I blogged.  I haven't felt like it so I haven't.
 
Now, I've been dealing with weird stuff lately.  The past two or three weeks, I've lost count, Tom has been leaning on me and some other friends for support.  He has taken me out drinking with him every night.  Most of what we talk about is his relationship with Dallas aka Michelle.   Now I'm starting to get tired of the broken record he has become.  She isn't sure she wants a relationship and it's driving him nuts.  Now he has convinced himself that the reason she is "trying to chase him off" is because she has been hurt really bad in the past and she is scared.  So she is trying to get him to leave.  She told him he had gotten closer to her than anyone else in 17 years.  So now he is thinking that she really doesn't want him to leave...   well as you can see it goes on and on and fucking on.  I've given him advice, funny enough it's the same advice from his guy friends and some total strangers that he has asked.  LOL  So I've done my part and helped him through some major depression.  Now he is back to asking for blow jobs...  Not sure why he thinks that will ever happen again.  Goofy ass man.
 
I've been going through some major funk and I think it's really from his stuff and not mine.  Of course I don't have any so it has to be his.  lol
 
I have done a lot of thinking on relationships.  I've started noticing some things that I'll have to be careful of.   The big one, ever giving someone as much power over me as Tom had.  I also already know there are things that will be relationship breakers and well, those will be non-negotiable.  Not even sure if I could give them a second chance on those.  I found I have some really tough things to work through before some poor fellow gets too close.  There are always exceptions to THAT though.  LOL   There will be special people and not so special people I'm sure.  The thing is I remember how unattached I could be and not worry if I hurt someone or not.  I'm hoping that with age I've learned to care but I just don't know.   I'm rather numb right now.
 
I'm tired, drained, beat and any other thing you can think of but I'm in a good mood so that counts for something.  Plus I'm doing the count down to my trip.  That is probably the only thing keeping me half way sane.  I've started making a list...  Ok you Virgo's no laughing!   I guess after that dream in the back of my mind I'm thinking I'm going to forget something important.  LOL