Tuesday

After I found out about dad's stage in cancer it felt like the world imploded.
I tried to grasp something positive and found nothing. Then Michael brought me
home some fried shrimp, where he and Tom had eaten lunch. I had been crying and
of course that screwed up my sinuses and I didn't feel very good. I ate without
really tasting what the food tasted like. I went down hill from there. My head
was hurting enough to make a giant go to his knees. It only got worse as the
day went on.

So I came home got Michael to rub my head which normally breaks the pain. It
didn't touch it and I had taken Excedrin also. I lay down on my stomach and
buried my face where there was no light and fell asleep. I felt a little better
and then it hit again. I was still sick at my stomach. I thought ok, a shower
will help with the headache. It did as long as I was in the shower. Now this
is what I was actually getting to. In the shower I had started thinking about
dad and trying to work on getting positive back to me. I showered, shaved and
washed my hair. As I was rinsing the conditioner out I felt somewhat better. I
turned off the shower and grabbed my towel. I turned around and on the floor of
the shower was a face in the water.. It was a face of a hollowed eyed ghost. I
quickly washed it down and told it no. Ok the illness and headache came back
but my attitude had changed.

This morning I feel twinges of the headache but I feel some what better. I talked with mom this morning and she said that the doctor did say that the tumor had grown through the wall of the interestine. Which is what the blurb I posted said yesterday. So she is going to tell Guy and I am going to tell Gay. Dad wants us to come up on Sunday. He was going to tell everyone then. Mom was able to convince him that it wouldn't be a good thing to do. I know he wants to be the one to let us know but it was a shock enough to hear it like I did.