Dazed and Confused but not really

I've been thinking a lot on way too many thoughts.

Some of these thoughts are more from a curious stand point and other I'm drawn to and want to know the truth on.

I was trying to think of how to put this... It's not that I'm floundering or my faith is in jeapody but my thoughts on God/Goddess/Spirit/The All/ whatever words you choice to discribe it, are tangled up and stuck on old feelings. An example is I have this concern somewhere still in my mind that not acknowledging both God and Goddess is a step backwards. Yet I believe that Spirit/God whatever is all gender. So if it encompasses both then why do I need to be worried that I will be neglectful in my prayers if I don't use the words God and Goddess? Maybe it's the fact that I had to work at making sure I remembered both and my mind just hasn't accepted the other part. I'm working on that though.

I think I need to set up a ritual for everyday. I haven't been doing my greeting the sun ritual lately and I'm just floating around. I hate setting up something that I feel I have to do because I won't do it out of rebellion.

I'll post more later. I have to do some work while I'm thinking of it.


Well work was unsuccessful for now. I never can get someone on the phone when I need to. lol

Ok back to thinking.

Is any ritual really needed? No, but I think I need something to help get me focused and understanding.

Then a lessoned learned now. Not to believe everything I read or hear. Now the only problems is I'm questioning someone who is teaching me. I know that's the point and honestly if something feels wrong to me I kind of just keep it in the back of my mind for future reference. It just bothers me questioning someone who I trust. Yes the lesson is a double edged sword. I also know that my truths will be simply that my truths but I guess I'm just a person who believes in people they trust. Yeah this is bothering me. I guess it's another one of those shake your foundation things. Talk about stubborn! That's me when faced with a change I don't like. Change = growth yeah yeah I know.

There are so many things I want to know but I want to know them now. So it's driving me a little nuts not getting my way about that. Some will probably never be used but how do I know until I have my answers? I have a need to make a difference even in my tiny part of the world. Not for the glory but where I can sit back and smile that I was able to contribute in a helpful way.