Tom got back from Dallas, Tx. He was in a deposition against Ford Motor Company. 7 hours worth of depo. He always loves giving depos. He came home talked for about an hour then said he had to go to the gym so off he went on his motorcycle.

Life is strange. Still he is like nothing is happening between us. It is very strange but I will deal with it I guess. I don't know what to think really. I know this has to happen for growth to take place. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I mean 23 years is a long time to be with someone, you know? I know what to expect out of him, even when I didn't like his response. I didn't expect him to say I want a divorce. The thing is years ago we weren't getting along and he said I'm staying until the boys turn 18. Then in 2000 we almost got a divorce, he was heartbroken. He didn't want to lose me, he wouldn't say it to me but to every guy he knew. So we got back together. I had resolve during that time when we thought we were headed for a divorce. He was upset because I was not showing emotions, neither was he though. So we get back together. I asked about him saying he wanted to divorce me when the boys were 18 and he said well you said the same thing. I said well yeah because that's what you said. He said that's not what he wanted so I thought we were through that. I guess I was wrong.

So I face a world of unknown yet exciting times. I wonder where this will lead me. What if I can't do this? You know the normal questions that arise out of the unknown. I'm changing and it's scary.

What happens when someone tries to come into my life? Will I let them or will I be to worried about what may happen. What if I'm not ready to let anyone in? Then I drift off to the question of love. What is it really? I think on this.