Gotta to love emotions
Today has been mostly good. The past few days have been beautiful. However yesterday I felt like someone exploded a bomb in my head. During the night it finally was fixed. Thank you Trevor. I also have to say thank you to Anna and FtE, as they both sent energy too. I woke up several times during the night feeling like someone was inside my head with a pick axe. I quit looking at the clock. LOL
Alright so while I slept I had odd dreams. Last night I was camping somewhere and these people parked their bus next to where we were. The adults all left the bus to go get something to eat and left a little boy unattended. Turns out he was quite bratty so I know why they left him. LOL Anyway I went to check on him and he was a horrible child. I turned to walk away and he grabbed my pants and tried to pull them down. I remember rolling my eyes. I turned around and snatched him up by his arms. He was much smaller when I picked him up. I put my hand under his bottom as I carried him. I handed him to the adults and chewed them out about leaving him.
This was a very busy dream... I'm getting flashes but nothing concrete enough to type out. Again something about being chased.
Something I have found out about myself... or should say I realized. I'm very demanding of time of people I love. I'm a very consuming person. I remember that now, that's the way I am when I am in love. I guess because I was always there for the person I love I figure they should be there every second that I want them. You know when Tom and I first got married he made a comment about me being too attached. Hmmm... I thought that was part of loving. You know that was a turning point in the relationship for me. I knew then I could never give all of me. So I didn't. Then I was told no PDA. I'd like to shoot the dumbfuck that came up with that rule. So only another wedge in being affectionate.
Then I go to future thoughts. The thought of introducing someone new to my family. Funny when I was young that never bothered me. Maybe because I was never really looking at it like that. I mean, I'm replacing someone they've known for 24 years. All of a sudden I thinks it's important what they family thinks? Gods when did that happen?! I'm nervous at the thought of when that happens. The thing is I know they only want me to be happy. That's one good thing I can say about my family. They are supportive and they love me. *grins*
Today has been mostly good. The past few days have been beautiful. However yesterday I felt like someone exploded a bomb in my head. During the night it finally was fixed. Thank you Trevor. I also have to say thank you to Anna and FtE, as they both sent energy too. I woke up several times during the night feeling like someone was inside my head with a pick axe. I quit looking at the clock. LOL
Alright so while I slept I had odd dreams. Last night I was camping somewhere and these people parked their bus next to where we were. The adults all left the bus to go get something to eat and left a little boy unattended. Turns out he was quite bratty so I know why they left him. LOL Anyway I went to check on him and he was a horrible child. I turned to walk away and he grabbed my pants and tried to pull them down. I remember rolling my eyes. I turned around and snatched him up by his arms. He was much smaller when I picked him up. I put my hand under his bottom as I carried him. I handed him to the adults and chewed them out about leaving him.
This was a very busy dream... I'm getting flashes but nothing concrete enough to type out. Again something about being chased.
Something I have found out about myself... or should say I realized. I'm very demanding of time of people I love. I'm a very consuming person. I remember that now, that's the way I am when I am in love. I guess because I was always there for the person I love I figure they should be there every second that I want them. You know when Tom and I first got married he made a comment about me being too attached. Hmmm... I thought that was part of loving. You know that was a turning point in the relationship for me. I knew then I could never give all of me. So I didn't. Then I was told no PDA. I'd like to shoot the dumbfuck that came up with that rule. So only another wedge in being affectionate.
Then I go to future thoughts. The thought of introducing someone new to my family. Funny when I was young that never bothered me. Maybe because I was never really looking at it like that. I mean, I'm replacing someone they've known for 24 years. All of a sudden I thinks it's important what they family thinks? Gods when did that happen?! I'm nervous at the thought of when that happens. The thing is I know they only want me to be happy. That's one good thing I can say about my family. They are supportive and they love me. *grins*
2 Comments:
I'm demanding on those I love, too.
I wonder why it is that we are so hard on our loved ones?
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