Numb
No it has nothing to do with the elections either. It's something else. Just a feeling of nothingness. If I were in the movie The Neverending Story I would say that the Nothing has moved through me now. I find very little passion in life right now. No not sexual passion, though that would be good. My only passion for life right now is Michael and Matt. Michael because we are together most of the time and well he is my son. Matt because I'm hoping he is growing and becoming a good man.
I had an odd.. well I don't want to call it a dream because it didn't feel like one because I was too aware. It was pitch black and I was in bed. I heard a diesel truck in my driveway and I got out of bed, opened up my bedroom door and looked out the front window from my door way. I saw the trucks driving lights. I eased back and looked in the mirror. There I was standing naked. I do sleep in the nude so that was no surprise. I came completely too and I was sick at my stomach. I had just been out of bed about 20 minutes before that and felt fine. This scenario that I saw caused me to get sick. I was a bit shaken by it actually. I'm not sure what to think about this though. This happened at 4:30am and I had to really fight to go back to sleep and honestly it took me an hour and a half to do so.
Tom told me yesterday that I could re-carpet the house and he'd pay for it. Probably because I told him about cleaning the upstairs carpet with clorox and that it made me sick. *grins* True story. SO I'll go to my favorite carpet store and see what they got. I think Tom plans on getting married this winter. Yesterday I felt like he wanted to tell me something but couldn't decide. Then we talked about the stuff he needs to get from the house and he said he was going to vacation in Florida this winter. It was the way he said vacation. He hestitated too long and he didn't look at me. If nothing else Tom always looks people in the eyes. If he's happy then thats fine.
I'm going to do like Dani said and reformat Matt's computer. I was talking to another computer geek friend and he said you haven't reformatted yet? LOL I said no it sacred me and he laughed. He is silly what can I say? Tom suggested that I copy Matt's music to his Xeon because saving the music off would take longer. I'll give it a try.
I've got so much to do around the house it's not funny. I need to have the flood lights replaced because these stupid things have to have the bulbs changed way too often. They are not close to the ground either. We had to buy one of those BIG ladders like painters use. I don't do heights. I've got to go through all the boxes in the closet and get Tom's stuff out. I can't see why I should be his storage facility.
I've still got to paint my ritual room. I need to get it set up so I can start making myself go in there and work. I think that's where I'll put my sewing machine too. I'll set the room that was my ritual room as the guest room. Tom tried to tell me that The guest room should be the room I want for my ritual because it has a bathroom. Hey somebody can walk across the hall to the bathroom. Plus you can hear the waterfall from the pond in that room. It will be good for meditating.
In my pocket I have these coins. A five pence, ten pence and fifty pence. I found it on the floor in my bedroom as I was sorting socks this morning.
I do have to say I'm very disappointed in the fact that the amendment for banning gay marriages passed so readily. I just think it's ridiculous that people feel they need to decide for others who they can marry.
I had an odd.. well I don't want to call it a dream because it didn't feel like one because I was too aware. It was pitch black and I was in bed. I heard a diesel truck in my driveway and I got out of bed, opened up my bedroom door and looked out the front window from my door way. I saw the trucks driving lights. I eased back and looked in the mirror. There I was standing naked. I do sleep in the nude so that was no surprise. I came completely too and I was sick at my stomach. I had just been out of bed about 20 minutes before that and felt fine. This scenario that I saw caused me to get sick. I was a bit shaken by it actually. I'm not sure what to think about this though. This happened at 4:30am and I had to really fight to go back to sleep and honestly it took me an hour and a half to do so.
Tom told me yesterday that I could re-carpet the house and he'd pay for it. Probably because I told him about cleaning the upstairs carpet with clorox and that it made me sick. *grins* True story. SO I'll go to my favorite carpet store and see what they got. I think Tom plans on getting married this winter. Yesterday I felt like he wanted to tell me something but couldn't decide. Then we talked about the stuff he needs to get from the house and he said he was going to vacation in Florida this winter. It was the way he said vacation. He hestitated too long and he didn't look at me. If nothing else Tom always looks people in the eyes. If he's happy then thats fine.
I'm going to do like Dani said and reformat Matt's computer. I was talking to another computer geek friend and he said you haven't reformatted yet? LOL I said no it sacred me and he laughed. He is silly what can I say? Tom suggested that I copy Matt's music to his Xeon because saving the music off would take longer. I'll give it a try.
I've got so much to do around the house it's not funny. I need to have the flood lights replaced because these stupid things have to have the bulbs changed way too often. They are not close to the ground either. We had to buy one of those BIG ladders like painters use. I don't do heights. I've got to go through all the boxes in the closet and get Tom's stuff out. I can't see why I should be his storage facility.
I've still got to paint my ritual room. I need to get it set up so I can start making myself go in there and work. I think that's where I'll put my sewing machine too. I'll set the room that was my ritual room as the guest room. Tom tried to tell me that The guest room should be the room I want for my ritual because it has a bathroom. Hey somebody can walk across the hall to the bathroom. Plus you can hear the waterfall from the pond in that room. It will be good for meditating.
In my pocket I have these coins. A five pence, ten pence and fifty pence. I found it on the floor in my bedroom as I was sorting socks this morning.
I do have to say I'm very disappointed in the fact that the amendment for banning gay marriages passed so readily. I just think it's ridiculous that people feel they need to decide for others who they can marry.
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