Ok so I've had to have contact with the bastard cocksucker. He apologized several times. He says in his bullshit Scorpio tone. "I don't know what else I can do". Well, you could die for beginners. So as he was leaving he stopped and got the mail and brought it down to the house.

I forgot to mention I've been cutting ever piece of paper in the wastebasket into tiny iddy biddy shreds. He said will you feel better after you finish cuting me into shreds? I said probably not. So anyway back to the mail so I had "Whatever" by Godsmack literally blaring. I get the mail from him and he said "I said I was sorry". All I could choke out was "There is no recovery from this". I don't know what the look on his face was. I'm done. I am cutting the cord on the fullmoon and I'm chopping that fucker into with one blow.

You know I'm not sure the idiot that originally said that saying you're sorry would make things better. The person was a total fucking idiot. Sorry doesn't help, doesn't help the pain that was caused. Oh yes he seems to think it makes it better. This is a man who never apologizes so all of a sudden he thinks his apology means more? Fuck that.

You know right now I could do with a storm. I nice big thunder and lightening clashing storm. I know where I will direct some of that lightening. Some of that wind could do wonders in making me feel better. I hope it continues to rain after dark because I need to go out in it and dance.

And what bothers me even more is that I knew she was here. I felt it. He is such an insensitive bastard. This day started with promise.